avasmiles

I feel strong and empowered.. not weak and confined.. I am powerless many things, but not powerless to the strength to send my ah out on his ass.. too long.. Im tired,, exhaused from the emotional toll this has been on my life.. 9 long years of exhaustion.... I carried it as long as I could.. Im done.. Life is too beautiful and my beautiful daughter is too precious.. After 5 months away in rehab, 4 months sober my husband has gone from the grateful father and husband to a downward spiral of darkness, evil and depression.. All those old feelings are back,,, the fear,rage and frustration. this time its different though.. I can see clearly on what is best for me and my daughter...Im not lost in the clouds like I was for so long..trying, too hard. I have given my husband plenty of opportunity to step up to the plate and grap onto his own reins...He refuses...he would rather slither away in his own sickness.. Im done... I WILL NOT LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE.. It was a statement I made the day he left for rehab..And It has stayed with me. His relapse has taken him far into the darkness and I choose the light...He resists sober living.. he resists A.A.. I can say I love my husband so much and it pains me to break free..but I can and I will.. Life is too much of a miracle to spend trying to save, when Now is the time to save myself..He wont leave the house.. I have to go to the courthouse and file temp.rest..order...and send him right to the place his disease will carry him.. the the gutter.. It breaks my heart.you all know the loving men that these guys are... its sad..how his mind is just controlled.. he has become my worst fear. I have no other choice but to send him out without anything.. HE has nothing.No money, no friends,, and the family is with me on this onee,,what will he do???? At this point its not MY ISSUE anymore..Im on my way to taking my life back... step by step:praying

AmpHusky

Set yourself FREE, G-D helps thoses who helps themselves.

blessed4x

((((avasmiles))))......your post made me cry. You are a brave woman and your daughter will see that in you.

Stubborn1

I also think you are brave. I made a vow to myself I would not carry the guilt of making his life worse so I do not harm him. I could easily get supervised visitations and make his life tough but I don't. He has agreed to see the children when I am present and so far he has complied.
What I am trying to say is don't go out of your way to make him miserable. These people (alcoholics/addicts) are already their worst enemy. They know they are sick. I give my ah compassion but not sympathy. I do not critisize but give him strong words of hope for himself when we do speak.
You can only lead by example. Hopefully he will see how great your life is and crave that. You've got your road map planned out nicely. I'll pray you have strength to carry it out. Our children are worth it. Every time your daughter smiles let it be because of you. You will get to lead her by example and hope she never falls victim to an addict.

Bernadette

(((((avasmiles)))))
sending you a prayer for courage and strength in the days ahead--
:praying

Peace,
B.

Berry1976

-avasmiles-

When I saw "your" episode on intervention I wished my exah would get help.
And I felt so happy at the end when it all turned out good...
Now though I am so sorry it didn't in the long run and I really feel for you.
I hope you will find the peace that I did after I finally left and realized that there is nothing I can do for exah.
I guess this shows that no matter how much we try and no matter if it's an intervention or not there really is nothing we can do unless THEY want it and THEY ask for it or actually do it.
Anyways, best of luck to you and Ava!
Take care!

hadenoughnow

Praying for you and you daughter :praying:

stillsearching

prayers to you for strength...you can do it!

SugarLily

Grab the life you want and deserve x x

HopeTo180

avasmiles,
You have given enough of yourself, that is clear. You have sacrificed your daughter's wellbeing. No matter what you think. No matter how you feel, you cannot give him another ounce of thought or energy. Don't worry about what he'll do or how he'll make ends meet. Completely disconnect! Worry about you and your daughter. Do this with a vengeance! Your determination for a new life will propel you to exactly that. Get there as fast as you can. Once there, the peace that you will feel may seem like boredom, trust me, it is not. It is peace. A peace that is foreign to you because you have long forgotten how it feels. Prayers

queenteree

(((avasmiles))) I too was so happy for you, your daughter and husband after the intervention turned out well. But, as you said, you can't save him, but now is the time to save yourself. Being down that route myself, I feel for you. I fell back in love with my husband last year, after he went to rehab, remained sober for a few months, was a grateful husband and father also, only to relapse for almost a whole year! He is now sober again for almost 3 months, but once you've been down that route before, you really get a moment of clarity and realize that the only one you can save is yourself (and in your case, your daughter too). You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.
QT

NYC_Chick

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I watched the show and it was heartbreaking to see what Dan was doing to himself and his family. One thing that shook my core and made me think "if he sees this sober, he will want to stay that way." is when he was walking with your daughter and you kept trying to get her back and he was barely able to stand himself, let alone carry her around.

Watching that makes me happy for you that you are deciding to get out of this life. I am the adult child of an alcoholic and can tell you it is a horrible way to grow up. His abuse will get worse and your daughter will eventually be the target of that. When we were old enough, my dad started with us. I'm still healing from that, as I have dated a string of addicts whom I have allowed to treat me terribly.

Good luck to you and stay strong.

avasmiles

Thank you for the support everyone.

Lizziesd

You have taken a huge step in the right direction. Kudos to you. God bless you and keep you strong. Best of luck. You have inspired me...Life is too short to be miserable...we can chose to make a change

AWEDA

It's hard, I know....
You will be okay.

Barbara52

My thoughts and prayers are with you. {hugs}