Five deep breaths
 

I have found, for myself, that there are certain posts that trigger me so suddenly that I can't stop myself from replying to them, even when it's obvious the o.p. is not at all interested in the es&h I have to offer. It's a reaction like your hands automatically reaching out to catch something that's falling off a table. My urge to SAVE them is so fast and so strong that I have to fight the urge to keep trying, long after it's useful....

So, for the lack of something better to do, I'm going to take a long, deep breath, and let it out. And repeat four times, in, out, in, out.

And then say a prayer and turn back to my own recovery. I feel sad inside, though.

Nothing special to say, just a criticism of myself. Just.....um....."venting" in a weird way......

Hugs, all.

I do the same thing. It's a mother thing and a Christian thing for me. I figure what if I say that one thing that might may that person save themselves from years of misery or better yet save an innocent child. Back on the codie bus?? lol

Me thinks that is _awesome_ recovery, that you can actually recognise the reflex and stop yourself. You just keep on breathing :)

Mike :)

Good post, I feel the same way at times. I try to think of it this way, a key part of my recovery is sharing my ES&H. I may not reach someone with every post, but it's the times that I do that matter.

I say keep posting and keep moving forward in your recovery.

:SteprobL:

You have helped me by posting your advice and feedback. And like me, you have helped many others. You can't control what people do with your advice, but you can still be generous to share your wisdom with us. Your thoughts have helped me get better and heal. I come here to look back at what people wrote on my posts, but also to respond to people and hope that I can guide them or help them feel better. I can share my experience with them and what got me through it. It's all we can do

I know that feeling, Give. Sounds like you are recognizing your own tendencies, even in cyberspace :) Stay vigilent, and keep taking care of you.

five deep breaths
 

I'm finding myself doing the exact opposite, I respond to almost all, especially the knew people who are just stepping into A-hell and than I reread and delete. I always sound so clinical on here.........and don't seem to know how to respond without feeling a bit off..even thou I have been needing some support of my own, i'm scared no one will respond to me or how they will......crazy!

I know what you mean- it's that trying to save thing that we do so well. I had never thought of it that way here, though. Now that you've brought it up- I'll think about it differently. On another thread someone pointed out how recovery isn't just about how we interact with the alcoholics in our lives- but in how we deal with everyone. <Duh> I know that, but forget sometimes. . . even here in cyberspace.

Yes, this is part of our recovery...you are 110% on, Give.

I also noticed that another part of recovery that I am learning on this site is how to keep an open mind. Sometimes when I write stuff whether I start the thread or reply to one, I find myself taking some stuff very personally. Even when I ask for advice and there is straightforward constructive criticism....I can get burned up inside. I discovered that that is the "perfection" I try to portray to the rest of the world to cover my behavior. My entire relationship and life, everything is "fine" and I get mortified when I am called out for being human. It is a stumbling block in my recovery because part of recovering is shining a light on those dark corners. Funny, how I still sometimes try to song and dance my way around that....

Thanks for the thread, Give. Love!:a194:

I feel exactly the same way as Lizzie. Please continue posting.

The OP does take in what you're saying. Maybe isn't acknowledging it to you. But if we read it - its in our brains.

Im sure I inspired this somewhat. So just so you know - I take in everything I hear.

I have learned not to share my experience, strength, and hope with folks who clearly don't want it. To attempt to do so would be a waste of time and an exercise in frustration.

When folks are clearly seeking help, treat me respectfully, and are willing to listen with an open mind, then I will share freely. When these criteria are not met I simply keep my mouth shut. If someone loses out on whatever experience, strength, and hope I can offer from my unique point of view, it's their loss.

I deserve to be treated respectfully; when that doesn't happen, I show respect for myself by choosing not to share and bowing out.

I try to keep in mind that when I share my ES&H there are many more people reading it than who post on this board. At those times, I am less "responding" to the OP than sharing what the OP brought to mind.

I'm grateful for all of your wisdom, again, always. (is it possible to get too choked up to type?)
I have a long way to go, but it seems I have good company on the road so.... :)

I might as well use this quote to say hello, I have been reading this board for a couple of years and even though I have never posted until now I think you guys may have saved my life, certainly my sanity, so thankyou so much.

Hi there loobylue, nice to meet you! :ghug3

Hi denny, thank you for the welcome and it's lovely to meet you! I really can't stress how important this board has been for me.