ToughChoices

I've officially moved into my new house (I think cottage is probably more appropriate - it's tiny!), and I am feeling great!

My typical day looks like this:

Wake up early after having slept soundly.
Make and enjoy my morning coffee.
Snuggle my son (he'll be 4 in October) awake and listen to his dreams from the night before.
Get the two of us ready for our days.
SCHOOL (for both of us)
A little grocery shopping, maybe a trip to the park, then a simple dinner.
Watch a Planet Earth documentary together.
Bathtime, bedtime story, and lullaby for DS
Phone call to a friend.
Quiet study time.
Early to bed.

I'm in my third year of doctoral training for pharmacy. School is intense right now and having a peaceful, sober home in the evenings has been very helpful when it comes to focusing on my studies.

I just wanted to let everyone know that a life free from the drama of alcoholism/codependency is a beautiful thing.

My AH and I are getting along well - I don't ask about the drinking and don't think about the drinking. I think about what I want to think about. It's nice to be in control of my life!

I am not finished loving my husband. I enjoy talking to him, and I am proud of his involvement and interest in our child's life. I was simply unable to effectively distance myself from AH's issues when we were living under the same roof and spending so much time together. I thought about him all the time - there was nothing left for me.

Who knows what the future holds? Trying to predict it would certainly be futile. I am working on finding peace with the uncertainty that is life.

Thanks to everyone on this forum - you are all inspiring!

-TC

Live

Thank you for sharing that!
The freedom becomes quite precious!

GrowingPains

I truly enjoy hearing this -- congratulations!

As for myself, waiting for the other shoe to drop since our Labor Day weekend blowout was exhausting and nerve-wracking. His decision a week and a half later to move out to preserve his 'lifestyle' was devastating. Watching him physically pack his things and leave this past Monday to live with his drinking buddy was excruciating beyond anything I've ever experienced.

After a couple of black days, things have improved more than I ever would have imagined. My friends and family have given me their support and love. The house is clean and peaceful. My energy level is back and I'm ready for the future.

I rehearsed one of my working bands last night for a Saturday show and had a blast. I also will be working on a new marketing plan for my business after I leave this site.

I still love AH as well, but only when he's sober. I hate him when he's drunk. I will not share a home with him as long as he insists on including the latter and I'm comfortable with the possibility of that being forever.

ToughChoices

The physical act of packing up and moving stuff was REALLY traumatic for me, too. I was folding, wrapping, boxing, and weeping.

It helps me to remember that, when life feels so dark, so bleak and sad, we need only wait a while for it to improve.

Bucking against the pain, hating it and developing elaborate plans to avoid it in the future tends to amplify my hurt. If I allow myself to simply experience the discomfort without trying to alleviate it, I find that it resolves in its own time, and peace returns to my life.

Best of luck to you, GrowingPains! I am glad you are here.

-TC

sodetermined

Wow, thank you for sharing, that sounds like a very peaceful, stable, life. Good for you!

denny57

Fantastic. It is true - walking through the pain is what gets me to happiness.

blessed4x

Thank you for posting this. It is nice to hear that there is life after the drama......a better life. In the midst of reading about so much sadness and pain it is a breath of fresh air to hear the good stuff!

justaboutus

Oh I DREAM about that day....

I'm also sending an email to my supporters saying that even when I refuse help packing they are to come and help anyway.

Silverberry1331

I hear you about school study time! I work full time, do 10 hrs a week assistantship, and school full time (graduate studies). Once the AH left, I realized that I had more time on my hands. Without him there, I can spend the time I need to do what I love best---my school work. I realized it wasn't the activities, it was him that made me feel so pressed for time.

I miss him and I love him, but my life is better off.