Going To My First Newcomers Meeting in My City...
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 84
Going To My First Newcomers Meeting in My City...
and feeling scared! I went to a meeting a few months ago in a different city because I was terrified, and barely made it through the front door--actually, I think I was holding onto the door handle standing in the back! And the tapes are starting to play in my head which I recognize as my "fear" holding me back. The most ridiculous one: what if I see someone I know from high school--how embarassing!?!?! Of course, the reason that the other person is there is the same reason I would be there--but my brain isn't getting it.
I told AH and he had a fit--might as well have told him I was going to a singles function to pick up a guy--and he is currently passed out, but I'm waking him up in a second. I fed and bathed the children already and ran around like a madwoman so he didn't have to do much when I'm gone.
He of course, rolled his eyes and verbalized the same thing I was thinking--what if you see someone we know--you're going to humiliate us! He said, of course, they were gonna brain wash me and he doesn't have a drinking problem and I am making a mountain out of a molehill. I reminded him I wasn't going to Jonestown to join a cult and I decided that I had to go through with it. I could lie and go get a coffee and sit in the bookstore (which I'd really love), but I need to do this for me. At the very least to step outside my fear. So, I'm going.
I'm going. I may sit in the parking lot for a while, but I'm going.
Did I mention I was going?
I told AH and he had a fit--might as well have told him I was going to a singles function to pick up a guy--and he is currently passed out, but I'm waking him up in a second. I fed and bathed the children already and ran around like a madwoman so he didn't have to do much when I'm gone.
He of course, rolled his eyes and verbalized the same thing I was thinking--what if you see someone we know--you're going to humiliate us! He said, of course, they were gonna brain wash me and he doesn't have a drinking problem and I am making a mountain out of a molehill. I reminded him I wasn't going to Jonestown to join a cult and I decided that I had to go through with it. I could lie and go get a coffee and sit in the bookstore (which I'd really love), but I need to do this for me. At the very least to step outside my fear. So, I'm going.
I'm going. I may sit in the parking lot for a while, but I'm going.
Did I mention I was going?
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Good Luck OveritNow--
AlAnon is a safe place to get things out in the open! The shame you are imagining and terrified of is one of the many tools alcoholism uses to just keep the status quo, to not shake things up, so that the alcoholic can just keep the alcohol flowing.
There is no brainwashing at AlAnon!!!! I was most definitely not brainswashed at AlAnon. I had my mnd blown - and turned around for the better. It is a room of INDIVIDUALS who share a common problem! You take what you can use and leave the rest. You don't even have to share for heaven's sake you can sit and listen! You know the seriousness of this disease, so it'd be pretty weird for anyone you know to behave in a way to make you feel embarrassed.
Keep an open mind-- try a few a meetings - see what you think! I hope it goes well.
Peace-
B.
AlAnon is a safe place to get things out in the open! The shame you are imagining and terrified of is one of the many tools alcoholism uses to just keep the status quo, to not shake things up, so that the alcoholic can just keep the alcohol flowing.
There is no brainwashing at AlAnon!!!! I was most definitely not brainswashed at AlAnon. I had my mnd blown - and turned around for the better. It is a room of INDIVIDUALS who share a common problem! You take what you can use and leave the rest. You don't even have to share for heaven's sake you can sit and listen! You know the seriousness of this disease, so it'd be pretty weird for anyone you know to behave in a way to make you feel embarrassed.
Keep an open mind-- try a few a meetings - see what you think! I hope it goes well.
Peace-
B.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
OverIt 
I remember the first meeting I went too....I sat in my car and watched all the people walk into the meeting. I was afraid too it is natural and human! And you are right others are there for the same reason....
Just as people here at SR are ....here for pretty much the same reason-
Once I did walk in that door that meeting was not for me however I was welcomed
with open arms-
When I did finally find the right meeting as i continue to go each week it feels
like family! I sit in these meetings and gain so much just by listening to others...I cried and still do some days as things hit home-I always though I was the only one in this world that felt this or that! Guess what? Nope!
Put your chin up and walk in the door and bring all of us with you!
Keep us posted!
I remember the first meeting I went too....I sat in my car and watched all the people walk into the meeting. I was afraid too it is natural and human! And you are right others are there for the same reason....
Just as people here at SR are ....here for pretty much the same reason-
Once I did walk in that door that meeting was not for me however I was welcomed
with open arms-
When I did finally find the right meeting as i continue to go each week it feels
like family! I sit in these meetings and gain so much just by listening to others...I cried and still do some days as things hit home-I always though I was the only one in this world that felt this or that! Guess what? Nope!
Put your chin up and walk in the door and bring all of us with you!
Keep us posted!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 84
Well I went--actually as I was sitting in my car in the parking lot, a woman around my age walked up to the door and asked me to go in--I'd been sitting there for a while. I sat in the back and listened to the others and their stories. It was draining! I felt sad but comforted. I was surprised that there were no men there, but it made me feel comfortable (not sure why). I will go back to that same meeting next week. I went to the Alanon website and printed off the schedule for other Newcomers meetings in my area--there are quite a few. If I don't feel the "vibe" there--I will try another one.
I have to say that I think I missed a lot of what many people said because I had this idea in my head that I was going to be "called on" like in school and was trying to prepare something to say. Next time, I'm gonna tell that weary brain of mine to shut the ******* up so I can listen and absorb with everything in me. Thank you to everyone for their encouragement!
I have to say that I think I missed a lot of what many people said because I had this idea in my head that I was going to be "called on" like in school and was trying to prepare something to say. Next time, I'm gonna tell that weary brain of mine to shut the ******* up so I can listen and absorb with everything in me. Thank you to everyone for their encouragement!
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