brightlights

Hi,

I'm new to the group and very happy to be here. My closest friend is an alcoholic. We've gone to AA together, talked about it many times over the last few years and during our last discussion she decided she was not an alcoholic (although she's worse now than ever) and roared at me, followed by sending me awful text messages. I ignored these messages, although they hurt so much. My problem now is that I had a common friend of ours over for a weekend and I told her what was going on. I feel like I should not have done this and feel like I've been a bad friend to my alcoholic friend, but at the same time it's so hard to keep it all inside all the time. So right now I'm feeling guilty and bad about my behavior and wondering if there are others who have been in this situation? How have you handled it?

Many thanks,
brightlights

ANGELINA243

Don't beat yourself up over it...being in that situation is tough and sometimes you just feel like you need to talk about it--thats all. Whether or not you shouldn't have told this person....hard to say...but if they know this other girl in question and mention someting to her--then it might make things worse. It sounds like your friend may be in denial about her addiction--which is understandable. What was her feelings on the AA meetings? Why does she think she isn't alcoholic--did she say?
Either way--you will find lots of support here for yourself. Have you ever considered Alanon--you mention having gone to AA with your friend>but have you ever attended an Alanon meetings before? Keep posting....you are not alone.

LucyA

It's not a bad thing you've done at all imo.
Alcoholism is full of secrets and deceptions, all you've done is acknowledged the elephant and shared the burden.

Daisy30

Your friend may get mad at you , but that is hers to deal with not yours. Be gentle with yourself. This disease is a difficult one.

This is a great place to be Keep reading/posting. Many here have been through the same things you have

I know my AH has told me many a times that he isn't an A (after being in AA). It is the way A's support their drinking. If they aren't an A then they can still drink...otherwise if they are they have to deal with that.
All I can say is alcoholism is full of lies. You must expect it. Just as you would expect someone with the flu to have a fever.

cmc

It's these very types of situation where I especially appreciate the anonymity of my Al-Anon meetings. I can say things in a meeting that I would not entrust to most people I know outside of the program.

I suggest you take a look at the sticky threads to learn more about this disease- especially in relation to the involvement of friends and family members.

Welcome to SR.