I need to feel normal is that even possible?
Life is what you make of it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Finding MY way in Ohio
Posts: 90
I need to feel normal is that even possible?
AH was supposed to met me and the kids at his cousin's house to fix her lawn mower and eat pizza while I helped her with paperwork and the kids watched movies (raining!ugh).
When he showed up from work at 5:30 he was drunk!
He smelled like a brewery. I was furious, but I didnt say anything to him, why bother! He fixed the mower, never ate but NEEDED to go over to his Adad's house for something that his ADAD couldnt tell him over the phone. An older friend of the familyl went with AH to Adad's house. They were gone for 2 hours. When they returned the friend (who dosnt drive) said, AH went off the road was drinking in the car, it had scared him.
AH said he was leaving around 8pm to go home. The kids and I started to leave around 10pm. When we went out he never left (thank God) cuz he passed out in the car with the keys in the ignition.
I took the keys out and gave them to the cousin.
She called this am and said that when we had left he came to her door knocking to come in yelling that I left him there and that was BS ~QUACK, QUACK!!! She said she tried talking to him and he was just a mess. He told her that his ONLY enjoyment in LIFE was drinking!!!!!
Hmmm, never would have guessed that his children and I wouldnt be on the list of things he enjoys in his life. Maybe i should have. I'm not going to MAKE him stop drinking, I never asked him to. I told him what I was going to do!
What is killing me is that she knows the situation and she had broken out of an alcoholic relationship herself many years ago. I told her that I do not want him to come home. I need a bottom and I think I just found it. I cant keep putting myself or my kids through this CRAP! This is rediculous - I dont even know what NORMAL is ANYMORE!! She is still saying we need to talk about our marriage, you cant discuss anything with an alcoholic, she knows this! She doesnt want to see us break up, WTF! She understands where I am coming from so why is she saying this? I dont get it. She said that AH said that he loves me and the boys. Well, love isnt getting us anywhere now is it? Cuz if it were hell we would all be happy, sober, people and there wouldnt need to be AA or SR.
How do I keep my BOUNDRIES? I cant let him tell me more LIES!! Everything will be different, I luv~ quack , uhhh, quack, I have an AFLAC duck maybe I should just keep QUACKING it when he talks to remind my self! I NEED TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN!!!!
Thanks for listening!
When he showed up from work at 5:30 he was drunk!
He smelled like a brewery. I was furious, but I didnt say anything to him, why bother! He fixed the mower, never ate but NEEDED to go over to his Adad's house for something that his ADAD couldnt tell him over the phone. An older friend of the familyl went with AH to Adad's house. They were gone for 2 hours. When they returned the friend (who dosnt drive) said, AH went off the road was drinking in the car, it had scared him. AH said he was leaving around 8pm to go home. The kids and I started to leave around 10pm. When we went out he never left (thank God) cuz he passed out in the car with the keys in the ignition.
I took the keys out and gave them to the cousin.
She called this am and said that when we had left he came to her door knocking to come in yelling that I left him there and that was BS ~QUACK, QUACK!!! She said she tried talking to him and he was just a mess. He told her that his ONLY enjoyment in LIFE was drinking!!!!!
Hmmm, never would have guessed that his children and I wouldnt be on the list of things he enjoys in his life. Maybe i should have. I'm not going to MAKE him stop drinking, I never asked him to. I told him what I was going to do!What is killing me is that she knows the situation and she had broken out of an alcoholic relationship herself many years ago. I told her that I do not want him to come home. I need a bottom and I think I just found it. I cant keep putting myself or my kids through this CRAP! This is rediculous - I dont even know what NORMAL is ANYMORE!! She is still saying we need to talk about our marriage, you cant discuss anything with an alcoholic, she knows this! She doesnt want to see us break up, WTF! She understands where I am coming from so why is she saying this? I dont get it. She said that AH said that he loves me and the boys. Well, love isnt getting us anywhere now is it? Cuz if it were hell we would all be happy, sober, people and there wouldnt need to be AA or SR.
How do I keep my BOUNDRIES? I cant let him tell me more LIES!! Everything will be different, I luv~ quack , uhhh, quack, I have an AFLAC duck maybe I should just keep QUACKING it when he talks to remind my self! I NEED TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN!!!!
Thanks for listening!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Nothing changes til something changes. You can't change him but you can change you and how you live. Only you can decide what changes you are willing to put into place.
It doesn't matter what he says. It doesn't matter what she says. All that matters is what you think and what you want. It sounds like you are reaching a point where you are ready to do something. Good for you. Figure out what that something is and do it.
Life can indeed be "normal" again.
It doesn't matter what he says. It doesn't matter what she says. All that matters is what you think and what you want. It sounds like you are reaching a point where you are ready to do something. Good for you. Figure out what that something is and do it.
Life can indeed be "normal" again.
Life is what you make of it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Finding MY way in Ohio
Posts: 90
He came home and I told him we NEED to separate. Until he goes THROUGH TREATMENT (drinking daily for 16 -17 years) I think TREATMENT is needed. The weird thing is that my belly isn't all combobbled. Should it be? I recorded our "conversation" back and forth with his words, contradicting himself left and right. I cant do this anymore, neither can my kids.
I told him NO ultimatum, just choices. I have a choice. My choice is to NOT live like this anymore - Of course his reply is OHHHH, you have it so F'in bad with me - It doesnt get better than this HONEY! The unknown is better than this!
THanks
I told him NO ultimatum, just choices. I have a choice. My choice is to NOT live like this anymore - Of course his reply is OHHHH, you have it so F'in bad with me - It doesnt get better than this HONEY! The unknown is better than this!
THanks
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
(((((cyclelady)))))
You are an awesome example for those of us that are right there behind you! It sounds like you have peace and a strong resolve. Don't even take that guilt trip he's trying to put you on, cuz the road you taking is going to lead right to paradise!
You are an awesome example for those of us that are right there behind you! It sounds like you have peace and a strong resolve. Don't even take that guilt trip he's trying to put you on, cuz the road you taking is going to lead right to paradise!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: California
Posts: 164
[QUOTE=cyclelady;1908234]I told him NO ultimatum, just choices. I have a choice. My choice is to NOT live like this anymore -
That is the choice we all have. Good for you, we can't make a person change but by God we have a choice as to what behaviors we will tolerate.
That is the choice we all have. Good for you, we can't make a person change but by God we have a choice as to what behaviors we will tolerate.
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