wish he'd quit

Last night on the phone my son said "Get a job." The phone disconnected so I didnt get a chance to finish the conversation. When AH brought him home this morning I asked him who he was talking to. You could tell that he was trying to think of something to say but he said that he was talking to me. He said that he and his dad were talking about whether you would choose to get a job or go to college. I explained to him that I do both and that its ok. I can work and go to school and be a mom. He said that he told his dad that he would choose to go to college. I also explained to him why its important for people to go to college if they want a better job. He was ok with that. I could tell he wanted to tell me more but I wasnt going to push the subject. More than likely he overheard his dad and family talking about me. I assured my son that he can come and talk to me about anything any time he wants and that our conversations can stay between he and I. My question is should I say something to AH and if so what? I'm kinda leaning against it because I know he would yell at my son for saying something to me. AT the same time I want AH to know that its not ok for him to discuss this sort of thing in front of him.

LaTeeDa

Much as we'd like to protect our kids from everything, we can't. You have no control over what he says in front of your son. You could ask him not to, but if he still does, there isn't much you can do about it.

Having open, honest communication with your son is the only thing you can do. As someone pointed out in your other post, kids are smart. They're usually way more capable of sorting out the truth than we give them credit for.

L

wish he'd quit

I thought about this for a while after I posted. I think I'm going to just bite my tongue out of fear that AH will "punish" my son for even talking to me about something like this. If I say something this time I know he will know that our son said something but if I wait and say something it will look more as just a warning. I explained it to my son again also only this time I used my mom as an example since she also went to school, worked and raised 2 kids.

Barbara52

When dealing with my ex and my boys when they were young, I always tried to take the high road and ignore the garbage that the ex was saying. Getting into it with him never solved a thing and only got me upset. Your kids will get it.

wish he'd quit

I know my son is smart and intuitive but I always seem to forget when something is actually going on. I need to start repeating "My son is smart" when his dad does stuff like that to remindmyself to have more faith.

Bernadette

Ditto B-52:
Getting into it with him never solved a thing and only got me upset. Your kids will get it.

It is vastly more important that your son feels like he can CONFIDE in YOU!
B.

Lilyflower

I think you handled it great - let him know he could speak to you, explained your reasons and choices to him etc. I think that he respects you for going to college to better yourself.

Keep communication lines with your son open, if you both communicate often when dad and the family start up he will know your stance and be able to ignore their view points.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

mallowcup

Trash talking you in front of your son will have it's own natural consequence. Don't start answering to what other people say. Think about it, of course your husband will yell at your son, as a result, your son will just stop talking. Insensative gossiping defines them, not you.