Work Issues - a bit long!
Recovering Codependant
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Work Issues - a bit long!
Hello everyone,
I'm feeling, for the lack of a better word to describe my emotions - a bit nervous today.
One of my bosses (two grades above me) has an obvious drink and drug problem. I've had my suspicions about this for months. He goes out drinking at lunch everday, for hours when his boss is not in the office. He often has red eyes, and slurs his words. He talks complete rubbish. He is full of his own importance and condescending. IMO he is an A. Over the last few weeks, other members of the team have also voiced their concern that this may be the case.
His memory lapses, confusion, lack of organisation etc have been making alot of work for the rest of the team. He will tell customers one thing, then do another, completely forget to keep people informed, and regularly get processes completely wrong. Due to the nature of the work we do, others have had to jump in to solve problems. He is the master at ''delegating'' his work to everyone else, so he is doing less and less, but he always looks busy.
I've kept my distance from it all. It is not my position to help him or speak to him about his work issues. I cannot help with his addiction, I am not his line manager. I try not to pick up his jobs for him.
However today I took a stand on how he has been addressing me. I have felt on occasion he ridicules me and is very condescending. I have already approached him about this before, but he is still doing it. I took the next step and approached his LM.
Now I am nervous. The LM has approached me and asked if I am ok with him using my written document when he talks to this guy. I don't want this to turn into a big fuss. This LM said that this guy had obviously touched a nerve. What the flip does that mean?! I am not overly upset where I go home crying each night. It just pees me off and is starting to get bloody annoying.
The LM talked to me like I was overreacting. I just feel that this guy needs to be more respectful of me and to stop making a mockery of me.
This guy makes me feel like my abf did. I want to ensure that I don't get walked over by him, but I don't want to become a moaning myrtle either. I don't think I have been moaning, its just this LM's comments have stuck in me and are making me wonder am I over rating this? He is going to talk to him tomorrow about it. Urgh, I just don't want any confrontations, I don't deal with them well at all.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm feeling, for the lack of a better word to describe my emotions - a bit nervous today.
One of my bosses (two grades above me) has an obvious drink and drug problem. I've had my suspicions about this for months. He goes out drinking at lunch everday, for hours when his boss is not in the office. He often has red eyes, and slurs his words. He talks complete rubbish. He is full of his own importance and condescending. IMO he is an A. Over the last few weeks, other members of the team have also voiced their concern that this may be the case.
His memory lapses, confusion, lack of organisation etc have been making alot of work for the rest of the team. He will tell customers one thing, then do another, completely forget to keep people informed, and regularly get processes completely wrong. Due to the nature of the work we do, others have had to jump in to solve problems. He is the master at ''delegating'' his work to everyone else, so he is doing less and less, but he always looks busy.
I've kept my distance from it all. It is not my position to help him or speak to him about his work issues. I cannot help with his addiction, I am not his line manager. I try not to pick up his jobs for him.
However today I took a stand on how he has been addressing me. I have felt on occasion he ridicules me and is very condescending. I have already approached him about this before, but he is still doing it. I took the next step and approached his LM.
Now I am nervous. The LM has approached me and asked if I am ok with him using my written document when he talks to this guy. I don't want this to turn into a big fuss. This LM said that this guy had obviously touched a nerve. What the flip does that mean?! I am not overly upset where I go home crying each night. It just pees me off and is starting to get bloody annoying.
The LM talked to me like I was overreacting. I just feel that this guy needs to be more respectful of me and to stop making a mockery of me.
This guy makes me feel like my abf did. I want to ensure that I don't get walked over by him, but I don't want to become a moaning myrtle either. I don't think I have been moaning, its just this LM's comments have stuck in me and are making me wonder am I over rating this? He is going to talk to him tomorrow about it. Urgh, I just don't want any confrontations, I don't deal with them well at all.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I hate to say it, but managers tend to stick together and this may not go well for you. I suspect they are aware of your boss'es drinking problems, may even be working with him on it, and aren't going to take you complaint seriously even though they should.
Any chance of moving withint the company or to another company altogether?
Any chance of moving withint the company or to another company altogether?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Other members of your team have noticed this man's behavior too. Will they back you up in voicing their concerns as well? This man is making a number of people's work difficult for them. If he is "delegating" his own work onto others because of his drinking problem, I would guess there are a number of co-workers who resent this.
Any chance of having others get on board with you in this matter?
Any chance of having others get on board with you in this matter?
Recovering Codependant
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Originally Posted by Barbara52 
...Any chance of moving within the company or to another company altogether?
His boss is actually a really nice guy, but I don't know how far this will get taken. To be honest I don't want it to be thrashed out anyway. I just want this guy to be aware of how he can be disrespectful in his speach and to watch that. My immediate line manager and I had a chat about it all today, she has been aware of things too.
The important thing I felt was to have the incident logged. The tension in the team is at breaking point with this guy, so something will give soon, we'll see what exactly. I know I am not the only person in the team who has issues with this guy, and I know I am not the only person who has approached his LM with grievances.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Recovering Codependant
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Originally Posted by prodigal
Other members of your team have noticed this man's behavior too. Will they back you up in voicing their concerns as well? This man is making a number of people's work difficult for them. If he is "delegating" his own work onto others because of his drinking problem, I would guess there are a number of co-workers who resent this.
Any chance of having others get on board with you in this matter?
Any chance of having others get on board with you in this matter?
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Lily
If things are as you suspect with this man (alcoho/drugs), it is just a matter of time. Perhaps managers do stick together (and sometimes for good reason), but as things continue to unravel, his supervisor will cut him adrift, I suspect. You only "protect" someone until he/she begins to make you look incompetent for not addressing the problem.
Good luck. Just keep it about issues and not about personalities. You have the right to a non hostile work environment.
warren
If things are as you suspect with this man (alcoho/drugs), it is just a matter of time. Perhaps managers do stick together (and sometimes for good reason), but as things continue to unravel, his supervisor will cut him adrift, I suspect. You only "protect" someone until he/she begins to make you look incompetent for not addressing the problem.
Good luck. Just keep it about issues and not about personalities. You have the right to a non hostile work environment.
warren
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Lily, FWIW, I am proud of you for standing up for yourself! You are doing the right thing. So many people just sit around complaining about things and never take any action. Complaining doesn't change a thing, action does.
Doing the right thing often means doing the difficult thing. I have recently been involved in a labor dispute between my organization and the labor union. The union is claiming that a person who was fired was wrongfully terminated. Unfortunately, the documentation is not very complete on the incidents leading up to the termination. If there were more people like you who followed the proper procedure and had the problem documented, there would be no question as to the merit of the termination.
Your report may not be the one to topple the house of cards, but it will be valuable in time when the inevitable happens and the situation worsens.
Good job!
L
Doing the right thing often means doing the difficult thing. I have recently been involved in a labor dispute between my organization and the labor union. The union is claiming that a person who was fired was wrongfully terminated. Unfortunately, the documentation is not very complete on the incidents leading up to the termination. If there were more people like you who followed the proper procedure and had the problem documented, there would be no question as to the merit of the termination.
Your report may not be the one to topple the house of cards, but it will be valuable in time when the inevitable happens and the situation worsens.
Good job!
L
Recovering Codependant
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Originally Posted by LaTeeDa
Lily, FWIW, I am proud of you for standing up for yourself! You are doing the right thing...
...Doing the right thing often means doing the difficult thing...
...Doing the right thing often means doing the difficult thing...
I feel better this morning coming into work, new day, the sun is squeezing through the clouds, and I am planning on doing some affirmations and self care to get me by!
It is so good to be able to come here and get a reality check with my recovery friends, thanks everyone!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Lily you did the right thing as others have stated...you deserve better.
Being a manager myself I will tell you this from being one for a pretty long time....it is true that managers stick together but that is to make sure the place runs smooth! I have been as a manager sexually harrased by one of our employees and NOTHING was done to my standards because the other managers are men IMHO. So please do not feel that it is just being an employee and non management that things will not turn out the way that they should. I had our shop manager get screamed at by the owner yesterday-for not doing his job ...
Every place is different and I feel IMHO this guy's actions will catch up to him if the managers stick together or not they will have to do something if enough people start coming forward.
you did good now try as hard as it is to sit back and breathe.....everything comes back around in the end.
Being a manager myself I will tell you this from being one for a pretty long time....it is true that managers stick together but that is to make sure the place runs smooth! I have been as a manager sexually harrased by one of our employees and NOTHING was done to my standards because the other managers are men IMHO. So please do not feel that it is just being an employee and non management that things will not turn out the way that they should. I had our shop manager get screamed at by the owner yesterday-for not doing his job ...
Every place is different and I feel IMHO this guy's actions will catch up to him if the managers stick together or not they will have to do something if enough people start coming forward.
you did good now try as hard as it is to sit back and breathe.....everything comes back around in the end.
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