CBB126

***Update***

Some of you may remember my story. I have been with my AH for over 20 years. I had finally reached my breaking point and found an apartment. The week I was to move, I lost my job

In two months time:

AH found out about the apartment, and consequently my son and I moved in without me having a a job. Two weeks after I moved, I found a higher paying job. My higher power had moved mountains and did for me what I could not do for myself. One of which follow through with the move and two find a better job. I could not just move on my own, my higher power pushed me out of my comfort zone.

NOW –

I am so much happier, so much more relaxed. There are times I second guess myself, but they are somewhat subsiding. I am still paying mortgage on the house we co-own as well as rent and money is TIGHT. But, I attribute that to the cost of my sanity and am looking for a second job to help my finances. AH wants to get back together. I try to avoid him, I am kinda feeling like we’ve had all those conversations already and I am tired of rehashing things. We did try to go to a counseling session a few weeks ago, our counselor asked if my husband was drinking, he got offended and stormed out. (Higher power again!). Every time I see him, he is either drunk or on his way to drunk. I told him I cannot talk to him while he is drunk, so I guess we won’t talk. I sometimes feel like I am avoiding the situation, but I am holding up my end of the house – for how long I don’t know, but as long as I can as the house has been on the market forever and has not sold. So that is a bit of the unknown here, but I will leave it in my higher power’s hands.

Moral of the story – It is not easy, it is very difficult to leave but it is so worth it. I just turned 39, lived with addictions for ALL my life and for the first time can concentrate on me. Sure, the codie ness rears its head, sure, I feel sorry for him at times, but I am feeling for myself more. I have plans, I smile, and am finally doing things for me without worrying about someone’s drunken behavior or stinking attitude and just general miserableness making my life not my life, but an awful extension of his.

Thanks to all at Sober Recovery – I have been here for years, and could not have done it without you. Special thanks to Former Doormat, Denny57, Barbara52, Prodigal, Rella, Minnie, Jazzman, all of your insight, although difficult to read and hard to process, but dead on.

CBB

wish he'd quit

That is so great! Thanks for the inspiring post. Your post couldnt have come at a better time for me. I am looking at an apartment tomorrow. I dont have all my ducks in a row yet but Im just going to start doing this stuff one day at a time. Money is going to be an issue. But I'm so looking forward to the peace that I dont care. Some how things are going to work out. As long as we arent in the situation any more that is all that is important to me.

queenteree

I couldn't agree more! I'm glad I read your post today cause I can so relate and say it is a wonderful feeling to be in recovery and thinking of myself! Very "freeing". And ditto the thanks to all you great people here at SR!
QT

GiveLove

What a great post, CBB

Thanks so much

NeedHappiness

Thank you so much for the great post CBB. This gives me even more hope that things are going to be okay. My HP has rescued me many times and I have seen Him working in other ways for me too. Isn't it an amazing thing when this is brought to light for us? What a wonderful God we have!!!
Thank you for the inspiration and congratulations to you for following through.

Freedom1990

Thank YOU for sharing your message of hope with us!

God does indeed work in mysterious ways. I am happy for you!

Barbara52

I am glad to see you are doing well. Yup, it is hard and it is worth it. {hugs}