Weekend Blues, Answers?
 

Hi there, The weekend is right around the corner for me. That is when my h brings home his supply. I was just wondering if someone had some suggestions on how to change my attitude. I just get so down as soon as I see it in his hands. How do I get my mind off from what he his doing? I have just come to the point to dread the weekends! Please give me some ideas. I do try and keep myself busy. Thanks, Snoopy

Snoopy

I know this must be really hard for you and I would feel the same way.

If that is his plan for this weekend, what about making some good plans just for yourself. Go visit a friend or family, go to a meeting, go see a movie, go to a meeting, go for a walk or drive somewhere pretty, buy some new recovery books or just a good novel that will take your mind somewhere else...oh and did I say go to a meeting? LOL.

The thing is that he does not hold the key to your happiness, you do. Just make a plan and plan to have some fun - you deserve it!!

Sending hugs and hope to hear all about what you choose to do.:)

(((Snoopy))) Thinking of you and sending you great big (((HUGS))) to help you through the weekend.

Let's see - you say he brings in his "stash". How about yours?
Some great reading, a couple of videos, bubble bath, toenail fixin's, new shampoo, baby lotion, a new bathrobe or something to wear that is soft and cuddly. . . or how about a big Teddy Bear
to hug? Or, go out for some time with someone - anyone - a neighbor down the street, a relative, or just spend a lot of time here sharing.

Read more and more - of course, I love Toby Drew's book - I read it over and over. It helps me get the strength and courage I need to pull myself up out of myself and do something wonderful for myself.

Time for a nap. Now that's really special!

:D

Thank you for your replys. I haven't tried a meeting yet. I am reading some self help books, by Melody Beattie. They are good. All your suggestions are great too. I really try and focus on my daughter age 3. We try and do fun things. Sometimes when I plan on other things for the weekend my H says. Why don't you want to hang out with me. I don't tell him because then it only makes him mad. So, I just go on with my weekend. I am trying to make them busier. Anyway, Thanks again. Snoopy

SNoopy,
I know exactly how you feel. I actually used to like when monday came and hated friday, knowing that saturday and sunday were just around the corner.

Doing things for yourself is the way to go. Reading is a great idea. I found that limiting my reading to Alanon related books was getting me down. So, escape with a good book (I've been reading the Harry Potter books - a little departure from my usual reading - they are really fun to read). A movie, night out with the girls, shopping, or just some alone time in a beautiful park or at the beach works for me.

Hang in there!

NoDoubt

I understand the feeling when you see him walk in with is "stash"

I hate when he walks in the door with it. I hate hearing the fridge door opening. I hate hearing the top pop. On top of that, he refuses to recycle. lol I never had to dread the weekends, I dread every day. He always said he couldn't drink until after dark. With the long days of summer he gave up that rule.

((((Snoopy)))))))
 

I wish we were closer 'cause then we could go for a walk...I love 3 yr olds....

I do agree with Ann; for you and your daughter, try to find a meeting to go to...you sound like you need the support of people who have been there and back...

Love and prayers from one who cares

a few ideas....
 

Everyone has great ideas, I'm just gonna add a few that I like...

Fix yourself breakfast in bed, just something small, warm up a muffin and grab a steaming cup of relaxing tea or coffee, curl up with a good book and stay there for awhile, ask your daughter to join you and maybe read a book to her.

After that give yourself permission to take a loooong bubble bath, turn out the lights and add a few candles, use extra shampoo and really lather up your hair, allow yourself to be extravagant!

Curl up in a thick robe and you and your daughter soak your feet in a basin of warm water and milk (4 part water and 1 part milk) add various ingredients, clove and chamomile are relaxing, cinnamon is invigorating, vitamin E oil and oatmeal are both moisturizing, be creative, then give each other foot rubs!

Have tea time, make your own using nice dishes or go somewhere that offers it, you can also go out for coffee and dessert somewhere.

Visit a nursing home and take the time to learn from the wisdom of those who are there, they are almost always willing to share and as you listen to the things that they have overcome then your problems often seem a little bit smaller, there is also the chance that one of them have already been where you are at and can offer some sound advice.

Enjoy!!
Love you buches,

--Ångel

Hi snoopy,

I used to spend lots and lots of time and energy trying to plan and figure out ways to communicate the pain and suffering his drinking was causing me. Smoke is right. It always caused me more heartache.

Have you read Co-Dependent No More? After reading that book as attending Al-Anon meetings, I realized that my behaviors were adding fuel to the fire. AH is addicted to alcohol and I was/am addicted to him. Once I learned to detach from his drinking, I felt peace. I wasn't always successful at detaching, but the more I did it, the more it became comfortable for me.

If not in recovery, Alcoholism is progressive. As his illness progressed through the years, with periods of sobriety sprinkled in along the way, I did become stronger. And after two decades, I decided that I could no longer tolerate the conequences of his drinking. I hit bottom before he did, and we separated. He's been sober for five months now and is active in AA.

Snoopy~~~your post brought up many memories of me planning and orchestrating how I could get AH to see the light~~~to see that he was killing himself and killing our marriage. Now I know that there is absolutely nothing that I could have said or done to change him. I can only be responsible for my own words and actions, and how I choose to react to him.

Take care,

S

oops....
 

sorry, snoopy~~~I had intended to post this on your other thread regarding what is appropriate to say or share with your AH.

By the way, I have the weekend blues also. I finally have all three kids at home today~~~the first day in a long time due to various camps, and they are all snoozing right now! I've never seen all three of them this tired at the same time. It's gotta be a first.

AH is doing his court ordered community service today. I think he has about 30 more hours to go.

Didn't see your post before I posted mine. Yes Sat nites can be tough, but just find something you love to do and do it! After summer I might even consider getting another job (like at a clothes store) that stays open til 9. I figure it wouldn't be busy and I would be out of the house. I spend a lot of time outside reading, because the summer is so short. Anything just for me! Hope your having a better night with all the responses you've gotten. Good Luck;)

(((SNOOPY))) It's a new day. Thinking of you this morning. Outside the birds are singing, the sun is coming up and it's looking like it will be a beautiful day!

I've been listening to a tape about The UNIVERSAL LAW of ATTRACTION. Seems the more we think about something we don't want and think of it a lot, the more we attract it to ourselves. So, now I'm beginning to really understand why it's best to FOCUS STRONGLY with STRONG EMOTION on ourselves. We can say OUT LOUD to at evey opportunity - I LOVE YOU ........(Say our own name)and wrap our arms around ourselves and give ourselves a GREAT BIG (((HUG))). Say it over and over. Concentrate on loving ourselves - doing everything we possibly can to show love, respect and dignity for our precious souls - ourselves. By concentrating absolutely on ourselves minimizes attracting the alcoholic's behavior to us. It's incredible how it works! Give your child or (children) many, many hugs, too.
And, I think there are a lot of people in our daily lives who really appreciate (((HUGS))), too. ((((:D :D :D )))