Ain't going quietly...
Looking for the silver lining
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: South Florida
Posts: 243
Ain't going quietly...
Well...
As many of you know, I left to go out of town while the AH is suppose to move out. He has until tomorrow to get his crap together, and be gone. He hasn't called or tried to persuade me since our departure on Friday morning. There were hugs and tears and a firm affirmation that he was to leave his keys on the counter Sunday night...I also told him that my father would be there Monday morning to change the locks.
I gave my girlfriend the keys to the mailbox and to the house so she can feed the cat-children. Well yesterday, he called her to say don't bother coming, he was still there to feed the cats. Then today, he called her again and said not to come he fed the cats. I asked her to go over there anyway because I don't want him to have the upper hand with all this. She did. CAN YOU BELIEVE that his OW was power calling the entire time. I guess the AH decided he doesn't want his OW anymore because he ASKED my friend to get on the phone and tell her to stop calling!!!!! :wtf2
Then he made another mention that he could call the police and make a stink about the lease since it was under both our name...What he didn't know was that I re-signed when it expired on the August 30th and it was put under my name alone. I called my father to ask him if he was definitely going over there Monday to change the locks and he said he would...I hope there isn't a confrontation.
Damn...
Why can't this man just GO!? Why does he have to make everything so friggin' difficult? HOW can you want to stay in a place where you KNOW that you are not wanted? He is just making me hate him! My nerves are a wreck!
As many of you know, I left to go out of town while the AH is suppose to move out. He has until tomorrow to get his crap together, and be gone. He hasn't called or tried to persuade me since our departure on Friday morning. There were hugs and tears and a firm affirmation that he was to leave his keys on the counter Sunday night...I also told him that my father would be there Monday morning to change the locks.
I gave my girlfriend the keys to the mailbox and to the house so she can feed the cat-children. Well yesterday, he called her to say don't bother coming, he was still there to feed the cats. Then today, he called her again and said not to come he fed the cats. I asked her to go over there anyway because I don't want him to have the upper hand with all this. She did. CAN YOU BELIEVE that his OW was power calling the entire time. I guess the AH decided he doesn't want his OW anymore because he ASKED my friend to get on the phone and tell her to stop calling!!!!! :wtf2
Then he made another mention that he could call the police and make a stink about the lease since it was under both our name...What he didn't know was that I re-signed when it expired on the August 30th and it was put under my name alone. I called my father to ask him if he was definitely going over there Monday to change the locks and he said he would...I hope there isn't a confrontation.
Damn...
Why can't this man just GO!? Why does he have to make everything so friggin' difficult? HOW can you want to stay in a place where you KNOW that you are not wanted? He is just making me hate him! My nerves are a wreck!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Silverberry-
As hard and as much of a drag that it is that he isn't just going gracefully, it is HIS exit. he is moving slow - aggravating yes, but not unexpected, right? Cross each bridge as you come to it.
Even if you're not religious try the serenity prayer!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
You've got things in good order- lease in your name, girlfriend checking things out (nothing is being damaged or broken right?), and Dad coming by on Monday. Do you have a plan for if he does not budge by Monday? If you have the next step ready to launch then you can just let go until more is revealed.
Take it one day at a time until something changes.
You've been very courageous through this- - it sounds like its been an agony just getting to this date!! Just stay on course...you are behaving very above board and straight, very clear -- however it shakes down these are the final days and you will soon have a new perspective and peace!!
Prayers for your strength & continued courage Silver!!:praying
B.
As hard and as much of a drag that it is that he isn't just going gracefully, it is HIS exit. he is moving slow - aggravating yes, but not unexpected, right? Cross each bridge as you come to it.
Even if you're not religious try the serenity prayer!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
You've got things in good order- lease in your name, girlfriend checking things out (nothing is being damaged or broken right?), and Dad coming by on Monday. Do you have a plan for if he does not budge by Monday? If you have the next step ready to launch then you can just let go until more is revealed.
Take it one day at a time until something changes.
You've been very courageous through this- - it sounds like its been an agony just getting to this date!! Just stay on course...you are behaving very above board and straight, very clear -- however it shakes down these are the final days and you will soon have a new perspective and peace!!
Prayers for your strength & continued courage Silver!!:praying
B.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
I know exactly how you feel I have been trying to see my H off for a long time now and he just won't leave.
It is beginning to look like my only option is to have him removed by the police or sheriff and I really hate to have to do it that way. I wish we could depart on friendly terms but, he just doesn't seem to see the good in that.
He doesn't have a job blah blah blah....I hate for him to end up on the street and I am sure you don't want that either but still it's my sanity at stake here and I am sure you don't want to loose it either...
It is beginning to look like my only option is to have him removed by the police or sheriff and I really hate to have to do it that way. I wish we could depart on friendly terms but, he just doesn't seem to see the good in that.
He doesn't have a job blah blah blah....I hate for him to end up on the street and I am sure you don't want that either but still it's my sanity at stake here and I am sure you don't want to loose it either...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Originally Posted by Silverberry1331 
Why can't this man just GO!? Why does he have to make everything so friggin' difficult? HOW can you want to stay in a place where you KNOW that you are not wanted? He is just making me hate him! My nerves are a wreck!
It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with his immaturity and inability to relinquish control and leave the premises with dignity. It also gives him an opportunity to make a big scene before he exits stage left.
Perhaps you should have your father and several other men with you when you re-enter your home. If he's there, you can call the police and have him escorted from the premises. You might want to consider getting a restraining order as soon as possible after you get him out.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I like Prodigal's advice about your father and some other me being there when you come home. Think safety first! And do not forget the police. They will get him out if he won't leave on his own.
You will get through this and begin the next, better phase of your life!
You will get through this and begin the next, better phase of your life!
Looking for the silver lining
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: South Florida
Posts: 243
It just seems so amazing to me that he had a month to find a place, $10,000 to do it with, and support from me (whom he was screwing over), and STILL procrastinated to death...now he is broke and without a place to go.
Thanks for the advice. I hope the police don't have to get involved. I never wanted that to happen.
Thanks for the advice. I hope the police don't have to get involved. I never wanted that to happen.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Originally Posted by Silverberry1331
I hope the police don't have to get involved. I never wanted that to happen.
God's Kid
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,820
Unhappy with the large amount of money he got (which I was generous about) from the sale of our, but orginally my, house, my ex AB also cleared out our joint accounts....
I couldn't believe he would be so pathetic!!
I'd only just been diagnosed with MS too.
My sponsor said to me, just confirms why your better off without him.
I went to town on the banks though, as they should have contacted me and they didn't. Just gave him the money then took his name off the accounts...
:wtf2
I couldn't believe he would be so pathetic!!
I'd only just been diagnosed with MS too.
My sponsor said to me, just confirms why your better off without him.
I went to town on the banks though, as they should have contacted me and they didn't. Just gave him the money then took his name off the accounts...
:wtf2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 65
Originally Posted by prodigal
Because it's all about power and control. In this situation, he probably wants you to think he is the boss and has the upper hand: "Just who do you think YOU ARE to tell me when to leave? I'll go when I'm damned good and ready!"
Hang in there and please take the advice given by others about not being alone when you go back home. Don't back down - he should go.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
i recall my aw grandiosity and telling me about her big and great future business, of course after i opened the door cause she was too drunk to find the keys in her purse. alcoholism took a sweet lovely kind gentle person and made her an arrogant self centered "tragedy"
Originally Posted by prodigal
Because it's all about power and control. In this situation, he probably wants you to think he is the boss and has the upper hand: "Just who do you think YOU ARE to tell me when to leave? I'll go when I'm damned good and ready!"
It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with his immaturity and inability to relinquish control and leave the premises with dignity. It also gives him an opportunity to make a big scene before he exits stage left.
Perhaps you should have your father and several other men with you when you re-enter your home. If he's there, you can call the police and have him escorted from the premises. You might want to consider getting a restraining order as soon as possible after you get him out.
It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with his immaturity and inability to relinquish control and leave the premises with dignity. It also gives him an opportunity to make a big scene before he exits stage left.
Perhaps you should have your father and several other men with you when you re-enter your home. If he's there, you can call the police and have him escorted from the premises. You might want to consider getting a restraining order as soon as possible after you get him out.
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