I already knew this but...........ahhhhhhhhh
 

My husband drank a 12 pack lastnight, and did not follow through with taking our daughter somwhere this morning.

He called his mom lastnight and asked her to take her.

I just had a talk with his mother on Tuesday, the other enabler in his life to stop picking up the pieces for him.

Even though I asked her not to, she did it anyway and I am upset about that.

My husband just woke up and he called to apologize (2:30pm). So I guess that means he will not do it again right???? (Sarcastic)

That's about par for the course for so many years in my marriage. The kids were supposed to be picked up from somewhere and he wouldn't show or would show up drunk. I used to get so mad when he would arrive to pick them up, obviously after drinking and they would let the kids go with him! So much for enforcing my rules about the kids not getting in the car with him after he was drinking.

My XABF's mom is his BIGGEST enabler. Lets him live at her house - FOR FREE (he has a job and she lives on SSI), gives him money, pacifies him and tells him 'everything is going to be ok', leaves her house at 2:30am to go pick him up from the bar when he is too drunk to drive. It's really bad. I've tried to talk to her, tell her that she is just enabling him to drink more, suggested she at least TRY an Al-Alon meeting. Not happening. She is a very sweet woman, her and I have always gotten along wonderfully, but she will NEVER stop 'helping' her son - even though she is helping to dig his grave.

Just like I know I cannot control my XABF's alcoholism, I also know I cannot control whether she continues to enable him or not. I am now not only not talking to XABF, I'm also not talking to her. As much as I care about her, she lives just as much in his disease as he does. She even begs me to take HIM back because that would make HIM happy and HE is just SO sad right now. Boo, hoo, hoo!!

I can imagine how you feel. It stinks when you know you are doing everything you can to not enable someone - but then, someone else is stepping in to do everything they can TO enable him.

I know you realize you cannot, in any way whatsoever, control his choice to drink. The same goes for what his mom chooses to do. You have requested that she not enable. She has decided she wishes to enable. At this point, I believe further discussions with her would prove futile.

My XAB's mom is his biggest enabler. She always makes comments about him drinking too much, but that is as far as she gets. Hell, she serves him the drinks while he is in the jacuzzi. I realize now why she enables him. Even though he is a drunk. He is functional. He works and is responsible with his bills. He supports her and pays her rent. So, she walks on egg shells. She cannot stand up to him because she is afraid he will cut all financial support to her. In your case, she is probably afraid he will cut emotional strings with her, so she enables him.

ABF's family will not stop enabling him because that would mean they would have to look at themselves and admit to their alcoholism. Mommy's money has done more harm than good. Denial is a very populated place on Earth.

Not only is his ex wife, parents and sibling alcoholics, his children are as well including the underage one. Likes to post on the blog how wasted the gang gets.

Nothing I can do.. it's not my place. Now that's progress for me. Disengaging for MY sake.