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Haunted Has anyone here ever felt "haunted" by someone's words? I mean like no matter what you do and no matter how much time passes you can't shake it? I know I will be told to go to alanon. It's just not for me. My anxiety is way too high. I just can't forget some things that were said to me in the past and even though I know they were MEANT to hurt...They really did some damage to my self image to the point where even though part of me doesn't believe them another part convinces me I am a total loser freak!. I hate this... Any words of advice? |
Alanon wasn't for me either. Individual counseling pretty much saved my life. L |
Yeah, I've been in counseling forever. Just lost the best counselor I ever had after 3 years. thanks to the healthcare fiasco. Ive always been in counseling. I guess It just doesn't really help much. |
Who knows, maybe starting fresh with a new counselor might be just what you need. I also spent a lot of time reading and soul-searching. Not just codependency books, but books about "how to change your life." Buying into what others say about me is a sign that I'm not very confident in who I believe I am. If someone's opinion of me can sway my own opinion of me, I probably need to look at what I believe about myself and how true it really is..... L |
Well I think part of the problem is that everything about me has always been a little different. And ever since I was a kid I have known this. It may not be bad and my friends and most family have no problem with my eccentricities because I am who I am. (ok I'm REALLY into science and my house is like a mad scientist/naturalist/artist hang out) But when I met my XABF he said he loved all those things about me because he said they made me different from the other females that were around. After many years all of those things about me are what he always bitched about and said ruined our realtionship. I guess I feel that maybe sometimes I am a little too out there and I actually find myself feeling ashamed. I don't want to feel ashamed of the things I love and I still hear his voice just ridiculing me and picking at everything I cared about. Get over it already! I know...wish I could just erase it. Kinda the same feeling you get when you remember your dad asking you if your stupid... It is over for us and has been for a long time but I really have a hard time knowing that he came to hate everything about me. I feel afraid to meet anyone else now. I feel it could happen again. I think people just say what they think you want to hear to get at you and then when they are done they throw it all in your face. I'm frozen in this thought pattern. I have to wait for a new counselor and my new shrink is a total moron. Sorry but he is! |
Originally Posted by loner1968
(Post 1897299)
Well I think part of the problem is that everything about me has always been a little different. And ever since I was a kid I have known this. A very important lesson I learned in Al-Anon (I'm not pushing it on you) was to look for the similarities, not the differences. It has made a world of difference to me. I was one of the strangest kids I know; I'm a pretty weird adult, too. I think people just say what they think you want to hear to get at you |
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