Final Confrontation with the now Ex Husband
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: canada
Posts: 166
Final Confrontation with the now Ex Husband
My that felt good just writing that statement!
Hi everyone, I wanted to post an update and let you all know where I am. I picked up my furniture on Tuesday from my girlfriends apt. My ex lives in the same building.
Seems he has been introducing his new female friend to my friends in the building. That didn't take long - 3 weeks! Also found out that this is the same woman he had had an affair with 15 years ago. Makes me wonder just how long it's been going on.
Well I decided to confront him not only with this knowledge but also to tell him how I felt, when I said "goodbye I'm leaving" it was written.
It felt very good to stand up to him and tell him (clearly, quietly, unemotionally, without tears) that I was hurt and angry at him and myself for believing all the lies and deception for so many years. I also told him that I am working thru this anger, letting it go and letting him go. I told him that he did me a huge favor by showing thru his actions what type of person he is - an active alcoholic. I wished him good luck and walked away.
It was so empowering, all these years and I have never spoken to him directly about this, yep that elephant in the living room!
I was somewhat shocked at his appearance, he looks exactly like a stereotype alkie looks like, dirty and smelly. Throughout the conversation, he never said a word, wouldn't look at me directly, didn't say a word until the end when he said, thanks for dropping in. And this is the man I loved and gave up so much for. This is the man that even after all he has done to me (I allowed this) I still had feelings for him, the fantasy. Wow I saw the reality that day.
I shouldn't be surprised though. Anyway, I've given this up and over and feeling much better.
I'm very grateful for everything that has been happening these past few weeks. Yes I've had some down time, some tears, some fears but mostly the feeling of freedom. I am responsible now for myself, for my life, for my feelings. I'm doing this one step at a time and learning more and more each day.
Thank you for being here for me, have a great day and talk/read from you soon - K.
Hi everyone, I wanted to post an update and let you all know where I am. I picked up my furniture on Tuesday from my girlfriends apt. My ex lives in the same building.
Seems he has been introducing his new female friend to my friends in the building. That didn't take long - 3 weeks! Also found out that this is the same woman he had had an affair with 15 years ago. Makes me wonder just how long it's been going on.
Well I decided to confront him not only with this knowledge but also to tell him how I felt, when I said "goodbye I'm leaving" it was written.
It felt very good to stand up to him and tell him (clearly, quietly, unemotionally, without tears) that I was hurt and angry at him and myself for believing all the lies and deception for so many years. I also told him that I am working thru this anger, letting it go and letting him go. I told him that he did me a huge favor by showing thru his actions what type of person he is - an active alcoholic. I wished him good luck and walked away.
It was so empowering, all these years and I have never spoken to him directly about this, yep that elephant in the living room!
I was somewhat shocked at his appearance, he looks exactly like a stereotype alkie looks like, dirty and smelly. Throughout the conversation, he never said a word, wouldn't look at me directly, didn't say a word until the end when he said, thanks for dropping in. And this is the man I loved and gave up so much for. This is the man that even after all he has done to me (I allowed this) I still had feelings for him, the fantasy. Wow I saw the reality that day.
I shouldn't be surprised though. Anyway, I've given this up and over and feeling much better.
I'm very grateful for everything that has been happening these past few weeks. Yes I've had some down time, some tears, some fears but mostly the feeling of freedom. I am responsible now for myself, for my life, for my feelings. I'm doing this one step at a time and learning more and more each day.
Thank you for being here for me, have a great day and talk/read from you soon - K.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
That is great! Now keep moving forward....and be gentle with yourself 
What plans do you have for your new path of life?
Keep us posted!
What plans do you have for your new path of life?
Keep us posted!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Chicago IL
Posts: 184
I'm very grateful for everything that has been happening these past few weeks. Yes I've had some down time, some tears, some fears but mostly the feeling of freedom. I am responsible now for myself, for my life, for my feelings. I'm doing this one step at a time and learning more and more each day.
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