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Yay, back to school

Old 09-01-2008, 11:19 AM
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Yay, back to school

The kids over here go back to school tomorrow, after the six week holiday. I've been at home with them for most of it, went back to work on Friday =, I took time off sick, partly due to stress, partly because they pay me and I felt I needed a break.

I've been trying to show Joe how to tie a tie this evening, it's funny to watch him, he's tying himself in knots and getting frustrated. I know he'll get it by tomorrow morning though. He's just starting high school this year.

I feel so sad, because he's so proud of his brand new uniform, his new bag, even his new pencil case, he's even agreed I can take his photo which is usually a big no no. But his Dad isn't around to share it with him. It can't be the same sharing it with Aunty Luce, especially when his Dad lives two minutes walk up the road and hasn't even bothered to phone and wish him well.

Things like this just bring it home to me more. Thanks for reading.
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Old 09-01-2008, 12:05 PM
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(((Lucy)))

I know it hurts both you and Joe that his dad doesn't want to be a part of his life.

I honestly believe, though, that all the positives you are bringing into Joe's life will ease Joe's pain.

My niece, Brit, has been going through something similar all of her 15 years. She will tell people "my dad has never been there for me, but my FAMILY (me, her grandmother, and my dad) have ALWAYS been there for me and they love me!!!"

It's sad for any child to have to go through this, but you are being an awesome aunt to Joe, and given him more stability in these past few months than he has probably ever known.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 09-01-2008, 12:13 PM
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"It can't be the same sharing it with Aunty Luce"

Sounds like it is, or better! He's lucky to have you in his life--somewhere he knows this--even at a young age. You are a wonderful, caring person who is making this child's life better everyday. Enjoy your "break" as well!
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Old 09-01-2008, 12:26 PM
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When I was in high school, my parents were so caught up in their alcoholic/codie dance they never came to see any of my games or track meets. It pissed me off. I was ashamed because I would see so many other kid's parents there, and they couldn't make it, even once???

But my grandfather used to come. He came to almost every home game/meet. He was there for me. I get really emotional when I think of him, in his hat, with his cane, sitiing on the bleachers by himself and applauding and cheering. I would always go and say Hi to him and give him a hug, but pretty much he just kept to himself and watched the game.

Did he come because he knew how chaotic my home life was? Because he knew no one else would come? I don't know. I can only assume he came because he loved me! I am grateful to this day. What a gift!

Having Aunt Lucy there is VITAL, reassuring, and provides Joe with a picture of love in action! Don't doubt it.
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Old 09-01-2008, 12:46 PM
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Thank you Bernadette, sometimes I wonder why I do things, I run round after all 'my' kids (Joe feels like one of mine now, but I'm still very concious that he isn't) I go to most of their school events work permitting, I play soccer with them, I take photos, I play rugby, I put maggots on their fishing hooks, yuk, I help them with homework, I wear myself out because for whatever reason their dads wont or cant (my kids dad lives miles away and works nights, but gets to things when he can and has them overnight every weekend) and I want them to have real childhoods, fun, experiences and most of all good memories. I do love all 3 kids, but it's bloody hard work sometimes, thanks for reminding me that it's worth it, and not just for me, for the lads too.
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Old 09-01-2008, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by LucyA View Post
It can't be the same sharing it with Aunty Luce, especially when his Dad lives two minutes walk up the road and hasn't even bothered to phone and wish him well.

You know, I was Joe when I was a child, my mom died and my dad lived in the same house. He might as well lived down the block because he acted just like Joe's dad.

To you, Joe's dad behaving like he is, is very painful because you know the difference and you know emotional health in action. Does Joe know this yet? Or is dad being the way dad always is?

I wish I had had you in my life. Oh my goodness would it have made a difference to have one one person show me I mattered, that I was cared about, and that I was important enough for a sacrifice. Joe is going to benefit in ways you can't even imagine yet because of YOU!! Even his kids and grandkids will benefit because of your love, care and example of healthy living. Now to me that is incredible.

I know it is hard but keep on Lucy, you are making a huge difference.

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Old 09-01-2008, 01:19 PM
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Clicking the thanks button just doesnt seem enough, thank you so much everyone.
I'm so happy I havent missed too much of the kids lives, Joe included, but still sad that even though I can manage it working full time their dads cant. I could say it's their loss, but I know the kids miss stuff too.
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Old 09-01-2008, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by LucyA View Post
I'm so happy I havent missed too much of the kids lives, Joe included, but still sad that even though I can manage it working full time their dads cant. I could say it's their loss, but I know the kids miss stuff too.
Yes, it is sad....it is tragic and I wonder how adults can be so selfish. And kids do miss stuff too. I am now dealing with an XAH that is also neglecting the kids and trying to find some serenity in it all because it sure does push those old buttons from my childhood wounds.

I'm getting to the point now where I don't think about the "What could have beens?" and the "What in the heck is wrong with these people that they are neglecting their kids?" because it doesn't get me anywhere but MAD and doesn't help the current situation. So, my new motto is to deal with what is, have fun, and keep working on me. Well, I'm a work in progress and have lots of slip ups...difference is I dust off and get right back up and that never used to happen.
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Old 09-01-2008, 02:57 PM
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Originally Posted by LucyA View Post
But his Dad isn't around to share it with him.
If his dad is still active in his disease.....I'd consider this a blessing from HP.

I believe God sends us angels to help/protect us here on earth. Heaven knows DD and I have some, I believe you are one of your nephews'.

I hope you are VERY proud of you, I am.

Thanks and God bless us all :ghug
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Old 09-01-2008, 07:07 PM
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Lucy, I really like what everyone is saying, especially Chrysallis's take on the future generations benefitting by your love and dedication to Joe. Just imagine, Lucy, when you can possibly find the time, of course, how differently things might have played out for Joe if you weren't there. You are truly an ANGEL, albeit a tired one (LOL!), but the high school years go very fast and your "job" will become less hectic. Your "boys" will always know they can count on you. What a wonderful thing for all of them. Take care, Lucy, and hurray for the return of school!
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