Drinking and natural disasters
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
Drinking and natural disasters
I can't even imagine those poor folks dealing with the likes of Katrina or Gustov and having their alcoholic spouses freaking out and drinking in excess. Typical A's who drink themselves blind at home will be displaced. Can't imagine the chaos everyone is going through, and then to add the booze factor on top of it all must just make it hell.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: atlantic canada
Posts: 42
Yes I hear you....my heart goes out to all who have to endure yet another potential devastating storm...
I couldn't help but think of how it would be with my ABF....I would be the one packing up and making sure that we had everything we needed to evacuate...I would also be the one to blame if I forgot something....he would be drinking his fool head off long before we left the house....then if we took a bus he would be in party mode on the bus...he would be sooo entertaining(sarcastically speaking) to all those around him....loud...laughing....thinking this is an adventure by then....He would have his stash of booze with him and be after me to mix him a drink discreetly of course....oh isn't this fun...
After about an hour on the bus that is stalled in traffic and rolling on slowly down the road...he would need to pee....that's when the panic would set in.. Maggie what am I going to do...I wonder if they can stop this bus so I can get out to pee...I would tell him that it would be impossible and that he would have to wait until we got to our destination...eventually he would pee into a jacket he brought with him....and be all my fault of course...
Then we get to the shelter...he would get angry that someone butted in front of him or stepped on my foot or kept looking at him funny....it wouldn't be long he'd be raging and just wanting to go somewhere to sleep off the liquor for awhile....Maggie you handle everything...I am having "an arthritis attack" and need to rest...
To all of you who have suffered so much (and continue to do so on a daily basis)...my thoughts and prayers are with you...
Maggie
I couldn't help but think of how it would be with my ABF....I would be the one packing up and making sure that we had everything we needed to evacuate...I would also be the one to blame if I forgot something....he would be drinking his fool head off long before we left the house....then if we took a bus he would be in party mode on the bus...he would be sooo entertaining(sarcastically speaking) to all those around him....loud...laughing....thinking this is an adventure by then....He would have his stash of booze with him and be after me to mix him a drink discreetly of course....oh isn't this fun...
After about an hour on the bus that is stalled in traffic and rolling on slowly down the road...he would need to pee....that's when the panic would set in.. Maggie what am I going to do...I wonder if they can stop this bus so I can get out to pee...I would tell him that it would be impossible and that he would have to wait until we got to our destination...eventually he would pee into a jacket he brought with him....and be all my fault of course...
Then we get to the shelter...he would get angry that someone butted in front of him or stepped on my foot or kept looking at him funny....it wouldn't be long he'd be raging and just wanting to go somewhere to sleep off the liquor for awhile....Maggie you handle everything...I am having "an arthritis attack" and need to rest...
To all of you who have suffered so much (and continue to do so on a daily basis)...my thoughts and prayers are with you...
Maggie
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
There are many, many issues to deal with before, during and after an evacuation.
In 2005, less than a month after Hurricane Katrina my hometown was devasted by Hurricane Rita. It received a lot less press coverage, because of the excellent management & cooperation of our State & Local officials. Calcasieu & Cameron parishes were damaged severely, east Texas was also hurt badly and had 7 deaths directly related to this storm.
I have never seen such chaos, organization, powerlessness, compassion and destruction all mixed together. The emotions that go with this were almost too much for anyone to handle. I am grateful that I had al-anon skills to process this, if not I would have been insane.
My AH who at the time had 2 1/2 yrs sobriety refused to evacuate, he stayed and survived only by the Grace of God. STONE COLD SOBER he made the worse decision of his life.
The weeks afterwards you heard about so many of our friends in the program that relapsed, used, drank, separated from spouses, all forms of acting out with the emotions and damages from such a horrible experience. We have some that have never found their way back into recovery - we actually buried one earlier this yr. He never could get his disease back under control.
Another Hurricane just brings back all the memories, emotions, fears and drama. SW Louisiana was fortunate to not be hit so hard by Gustav, but our fellow Louisianians in the Central Southern parts have been battered by this powerful blow. I may not know the names & faces of the alcoholics/addicts and their families but yes they are suffering tremendously thru this ordeal.
Please, Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. And for those areas about the be affected by the other storms heading this way Hanna, Ike & Josephine - prayers that they will just go away.
Alcoholism/addiction is painful and difficult enough without the added stress of these disasters.
Thanks for reading - it is nice to have a place to vent this emotion with people who care & understand,
Love and safety to you all,
Rita
In 2005, less than a month after Hurricane Katrina my hometown was devasted by Hurricane Rita. It received a lot less press coverage, because of the excellent management & cooperation of our State & Local officials. Calcasieu & Cameron parishes were damaged severely, east Texas was also hurt badly and had 7 deaths directly related to this storm.
I have never seen such chaos, organization, powerlessness, compassion and destruction all mixed together. The emotions that go with this were almost too much for anyone to handle. I am grateful that I had al-anon skills to process this, if not I would have been insane.
My AH who at the time had 2 1/2 yrs sobriety refused to evacuate, he stayed and survived only by the Grace of God. STONE COLD SOBER he made the worse decision of his life.
The weeks afterwards you heard about so many of our friends in the program that relapsed, used, drank, separated from spouses, all forms of acting out with the emotions and damages from such a horrible experience. We have some that have never found their way back into recovery - we actually buried one earlier this yr. He never could get his disease back under control.
Another Hurricane just brings back all the memories, emotions, fears and drama. SW Louisiana was fortunate to not be hit so hard by Gustav, but our fellow Louisianians in the Central Southern parts have been battered by this powerful blow. I may not know the names & faces of the alcoholics/addicts and their families but yes they are suffering tremendously thru this ordeal.
Please, Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. And for those areas about the be affected by the other storms heading this way Hanna, Ike & Josephine - prayers that they will just go away.
Alcoholism/addiction is painful and difficult enough without the added stress of these disasters.
Thanks for reading - it is nice to have a place to vent this emotion with people who care & understand,
Love and safety to you all,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 38
What I Learned from Evacuating with my Alcoholic
In 2005 I evacuated New Orleans from Katrina with my alcoholic spouse. It was all you are imagining and more. I may as well have been evacuating with a newborn. She had been sober for a few weeks just before the hurricane hit as she had just gotten out of a hospital stay, but it turns out nothing spells "excuse to relapse" like a natural disaster.
Right now I am sitting in a hotel room in Memphis after Gustav, waiting for my power to get turned back on at my apartment before I go home to New Orleans. There has been a world of difference between this evacuation (we separated last November) and that one. I have thought of her often over the last few days, and when I try to imagine what it would be like right now if we were still together, it literally makes me ill. Sure, it's lonely being in a strange city by myself, but at least there is only one adult I have to take care of -- me!!
I can honestly say my Katrina experience was the beginning of the end for me putting up with unacceptable behavior, even though it took another two years and more bad stuff happening for me to get out. What I started to realize through it was that each of us deserves to be in a marriage with a functioning partner for those times when things go really bad really quickly. I was young when I got married, and in love and really just enjoying myself. If I could go back in time, I would sit myself down and explain that the first thing you should ask yourself before you get married is: Is this a person you can depend on when the crap hits the fan?
It's not my place to give other people advice, but I'm going to do it just this once, maybe because, like Rita, the last week has brought back a lot of painful memories. If you are dating someone who is an alcoholic and thinking about marrying them, please ask yourself if this is someone you can depend on in an emergency. Because be it a hurricane or a fire or something else, sooner or later in most of our lives the crap will hit the fan. We all deserve to have people in our lives who are as willing and able to look out for us as we are to look out for them . . . that's what a marriage should be.
Steven
Right now I am sitting in a hotel room in Memphis after Gustav, waiting for my power to get turned back on at my apartment before I go home to New Orleans. There has been a world of difference between this evacuation (we separated last November) and that one. I have thought of her often over the last few days, and when I try to imagine what it would be like right now if we were still together, it literally makes me ill. Sure, it's lonely being in a strange city by myself, but at least there is only one adult I have to take care of -- me!!
I can honestly say my Katrina experience was the beginning of the end for me putting up with unacceptable behavior, even though it took another two years and more bad stuff happening for me to get out. What I started to realize through it was that each of us deserves to be in a marriage with a functioning partner for those times when things go really bad really quickly. I was young when I got married, and in love and really just enjoying myself. If I could go back in time, I would sit myself down and explain that the first thing you should ask yourself before you get married is: Is this a person you can depend on when the crap hits the fan?
It's not my place to give other people advice, but I'm going to do it just this once, maybe because, like Rita, the last week has brought back a lot of painful memories. If you are dating someone who is an alcoholic and thinking about marrying them, please ask yourself if this is someone you can depend on in an emergency. Because be it a hurricane or a fire or something else, sooner or later in most of our lives the crap will hit the fan. We all deserve to have people in our lives who are as willing and able to look out for us as we are to look out for them . . . that's what a marriage should be.
Steven
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
Yep, I was a foolish idiot during natural disasters. In the early 90's I lived in Massachussetts, married and divorced my first wife in a couple years there. After we were apart I moved into a basement apartment 3 houses away from the beach.
In the year I was there we had two no-name storms in the middle of winter. My apartment would start to fill up with water and the landlord and I would spend 2-3 days vacuuming and pumping it out as fast as it came in. For me it was an excuse to load up the fridge with vodka and beer and drink myself into oblivion.
I used to think it was exciting and funny, looking back I can't believe what a dumb thing it was to do.
In the year I was there we had two no-name storms in the middle of winter. My apartment would start to fill up with water and the landlord and I would spend 2-3 days vacuuming and pumping it out as fast as it came in. For me it was an excuse to load up the fridge with vodka and beer and drink myself into oblivion.
I used to think it was exciting and funny, looking back I can't believe what a dumb thing it was to do.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Back South where I belong!
Posts: 210
This was the first hurricane I've gone through by myself. It was frightening to me. I found myself missing xah even though he was difficult during the storm - I can't board up my own windows, I don't know how to turn off the gas to my house - I was just freaking out. Ended up at my FIRST ex husband's house with my FIRST ex mother in law and my grown kids, who have their own issues - will never ever do that again - what a disaster. I just feel like I'm spinning into depression now after working so hard to keep everything positive these past few months. Trying to hang tight for a few days and hoping these feelings will pass like they always do.
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