I am lost

Old 08-29-2008, 09:04 AM
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Exclamation I am lost

Hello everyone. I am new to this site and new too sharing my experience with people in the same situation.

I have an alcoholic brother that is at his last stages. He refuses to get help and has isolated himself in his little apartment where he does nothing but drinking and sleeping.

He had over 10 hospitalizations and 3 interventions none of which generated any positive outcomes. He now seizures and has to wear a dipper.

Last night we have notice bruises all over his body but they seem to come from the inside. If anyone knows what that might be please let me know.

Thank you very much
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Old 08-29-2008, 09:09 AM
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I am sorry you are having to watch you brother destroy himself this way.
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Old 08-29-2008, 09:13 AM
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Thank you for these kind words
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Old 08-29-2008, 09:26 AM
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I am not Dr. but my FIL had similar bruising when he was at the end stages of liver cancer.
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Old 08-29-2008, 09:26 AM
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Hi,

I am very sorry that you and your family are going through this time. I am not a medical doctor, so I don't know. Just wanted to send love to you all right now.

Please keep posting. I can hear the worry, desparation, and frustration in your few words. This site is such a great part of our own recovery...This is one of the places where we can learn to love the alcoholic, yet separate our lives from their disease. We learn to vocalize our needs and feelings, and put ourselves first; something that is often times not done because we are so caught up with our alcoholic. We can find serenity here. Also, it is a place where you laugh, cry, and gain understanding and be understood without judgement.

So although I can't offer any guidance for your brother, we all here offer you the invitation to come back. If nothing else, may you go through your day knowing that a community of people are praying with you.

Silver...
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Old 08-29-2008, 09:28 AM
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I am not a doctor, but a quick search on the internet suggested that liver failure or certain medications may result in lack of clotting, excess bleeding and/or bruising. I was in your shoes watching an end-stage alcoholic a little over a year ago. It's heartbreaking but you are not alone.
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Old 08-29-2008, 09:33 AM
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Multia,
I so feel your pain. It still amazes me how one's disregard for themselves effects so many around them. I would normally say to pull yourself back and let him fall but, he has already fallen which explains the bruises. The bruises from the inside are normally caused by blunt trauma. The bones and muscles impact the skin from the inside causing bruises. He may be falling and running into things, a lot. Your brother is at the point of life threating concern. I would search for any local program that may help him. There is always "Baker Act" available to you but you will incur the expense of treatment. I'm sure you will find something. The police department knows of almost every local program available. Local AA meetings are also schooled in the process. During this time it's important for you to remain strong. You are and have been doing all that you can. He is basically committing slow suicide. There should be zero quilt on your part. Keep posting, we're here for you. Prayers
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Old 08-29-2008, 10:21 AM
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I think that when a person has liver failure they have bruising and clotting problems. The liver has a lot to do with blood clotting. He may be falling or bumping into things. If he is not eatting this could also be a factor.
Its got to be about the hardest thing to see.
:praying
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Old 08-29-2008, 11:06 AM
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I have posted less than two hours a go and have already gotten so many kind words and support. It is so hard because I have never seen anyone so helpless and innocent. Unfortunately he does not want any help. Every night my mom walks in quietly in to his apartment just to make sure he is still breathing. Sometimes he sleeps in the same position for days, without food and water and is down to 100 lbs. He has no TV and no phone no Internet and no friends. Whenever he is lucid he begs us to not come too see him, he just wants to be alone. This is suicide just like any other. The system has failed us. We tried everything but without his will we can’t force him to any clinic. This is a disease beyond addiction, yet the doctors keep telling us he is normal but with a drinking problem. This is not a problem this is a slow death.
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Old 08-29-2008, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Silverberry1331 View Post
So although I can't offer any guidance for your brother, we all here offer you the invitation to come back. If nothing else, may you go through your day knowing that a community of people are praying with you.
I second that Silver! This is a wonderful site to come to.

Originally Posted by Multia View Post
This is not a problem this is a slow death.
My heart breaks for you Multia. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice to give you. But, I did want let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sending Strength and Hugs your way...

C
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Old 08-29-2008, 01:16 PM
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It must be heartbreaking for you to watch someone you have known your entire life deteriorate before your eyes. It is especially difficult knowing it was the result of his decision to keep drinking despite all the negative consequences to his health.

When my AH reached late stage alcoholism, it was then I fully realized how powerful his addiction had become... at one point, he was told he would lose his vision if he did not stop drinking .... and to everyone's amazement he continued to secretly drink all while complaining about how bad his eyesight was becoming. It was during this time, his entire family finally realized how very serious his addiction was. Sadly, his mind also began failing him and most of the time he could not even think or process information properly ... and in a very short time his entire body began to fail him ... but nothing could stop him from drinking. I spent a great deal of time doing research on the internet about the effects of alcohol on the human body ... and found long term heavy consumption, ultimately damages just about every cell and organ in the human body. When my AH reached this point, I no longer felt anger, but felt sincere pity and remorse for how alcoholism had tragically consumed a once very healthy, strong and capable person ... and how he eventually became powerless to stop it.

You have my deepest sympathies for your brother's situation and all the pain your family is going through. Please take care of yourself and find peace in knowing you and your family have done all that you could in the face of this overwhelmingly destructive and tragic addiction.
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Old 08-29-2008, 01:33 PM
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Multia--
How tragic...
Sending out a prayer for you and your brother--
:praying
Peace,
B
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Old 08-29-2008, 01:40 PM
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May God give strength to those finding their way back…

May God have mercy on those that do not.

:praying
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Old 08-29-2008, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Multia View Post
I have posted less than two hours a go and have already gotten so many kind words and support. It is so hard because I have never seen anyone so helpless and innocent. Unfortunately he does not want any help. Every night my mom walks in quietly in to his apartment just to make sure he is still breathing. Sometimes he sleeps in the same position for days, without food and water and is down to 100 lbs. He has no TV and no phone no Internet and no friends. Whenever he is lucid he begs us to not come too see him, he just wants to be alone. This is suicide just like any other. The system has failed us. We tried everything but without his will we can’t force him to any clinic. This is a disease beyond addiction, yet the doctors keep telling us he is normal but with a drinking problem. This is not a problem this is a slow death.


Multia, I don't think the system has failed you, 'the system' can only help your brother if he accepts the help offered. Unfortunately your brother sounds very much like mine, although mine isn't quite so far on. That's their choice, our brothers I mean, you can choose to do as I did and help yourself though. I have been much happier and healthier since I accepted my brother as he is and also accepted that his choice to drink when he knows it does him harm is his alone. I still care for him and love him as my brother, but I don't allow his choices to affect me now.
If it's what your brother chooses there is nothing you can do, ecxept look after yourself. It's hard and it hurts, but I personally find it better than trying to look after him.
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Old 08-29-2008, 03:10 PM
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Just sending a friendly welcome

It must be hard watching this fatal disease of alcoholism take your brother.
So sorry he is at this stage.
Can you call your local chapter of AA and see if they have outreach volunteers
that can pay him a visit?
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Old 08-29-2008, 05:24 PM
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Your story is heartbreaking.

He sounds so trapped and in the darkest and deepest of severe depression. Unable to help himself at this stage. You must feel so desperate. I would.

All i can think is that you might contact AA, or go to an open meeting of AA and ask if anyone there might talk with you after the meeting about your situation. This might bring you comfort and information. There are meetings everywhere, every night and day.

I'm so sorry. In AA they say "Don't give up five minutes before the miracle." I pray one may happen for your brother. I pray for him to find peace.
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Old 08-29-2008, 06:38 PM
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My thoughts and prayers are with you. Here in the states we can sometimes to a Baker or Marchman Act and heve them commited when they pose a threat to themselves, I'm sorry that is not available to you. I would think that if you called in a regular emergency he would have to be hospitalized. His condition seems worthy of it. I am very sorry for your pain.
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Old 08-29-2008, 07:35 PM
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Oh my dear, I will pray for you and your brother tonight.
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Old 08-29-2008, 09:04 PM
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Multia, I am so very, very sorry you are having to witness this. I know it hurts so much. Please keep posting. We want to be here to give you any support we can. Alcoholism is an isidious and horrible disease. It is awful to watch someone at the end stage of the disease.

My prayers are with you tonight.
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Old 08-30-2008, 04:00 AM
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It's devastating......
I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
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