TooMuch4TooLong

It was such a great day at work, I have so many great people there. I just wanted to start with somethng positive because it looks like it will be a long night.

He's lit to the gills right now. I am making dinner for myself and my daughter because he told me he was going to take a shower. So I am sitting on the love seat and he is ranting raving and humming. Can I digress for a moment? This humming crap started about a month or two ago, one of the guys he worked with is an A and hums all day. This A picked up the habit and I tell ya it has worked my last good nerve. Between the aimless humming, incomplete or completely incoherent sentences I could climb a tree. I mean WTF is with the weird a** ticks? AAAUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!

I am looking at this pathetic excuse for a man and thinking, "what was I drinking??" lol.

In between the humming and mumbling every now and then he yells out one or two whole words, it is almost funny. It is getting funnier every time I think that by this time tomorrow night I will have keys to the apartment. Boo Yah! I am doing pretty good at not responding, I have been to busy reading posts and that has helped a bunch. It's not easy though, in case no one has noticed I tend to speak my mind and I am really bad when it comes to laughing at the worst time. he keeps asking me if I am going to make his lunches! Seriously!

I am not rising to the bait I am going to go on on about my business and try really hard not to laugh when he falls down. I know that was mean but like I said I speak my mind. LOL, my hair is up on top of my head and he says "I really don't care for the hair do."

I just want to say that I cannot wait to get out of here, the small sense of autonomy I have already gained and the communication that I am getting back with my duaghter is wonderful.

Barbara52

I hope your plans to get out go smoothly. The peace you will find almost immediately will make it all worth any troubles inbetween.

prodigal

I lived through this. For three solid weeks. My AH would go into the living room at 5 a.m. every single day and start ranting incoherently. Then he'd cuss. I assume he was speaking to somebody, 'cause it certainly wasn't me!

I had an A with LOTS of sobriety tell me that my AH was probably talking to people from his past and attempting to discuss things that had occurred amongst them.

I believe that. I also know I was downright SCARED at times. He hasn't done that since last October's mega-bender, but it left me somewhat traumatized. I'm okay now, but it was a rough patch.

Just leave the room where your AH is performing his humming and whatever else. Remove yourself from his presence as much as possible. The chances are that he will either not notice you are gone or he will simmer down once it occurs to him that his audience has left the room.

theotherone

Most importantly...never let him know that the humming bothers you! LOL

Next time, if you recognize the tune...hum along just for laughs...or better yet, start belting out the words and sing along!

kemarus

Yikes!! I remember that part too. He used to talk to himself all the time. The kids and I said he talks to himself more than he talks to anyone else. He didn't hum though. That would have made me crazy. The talking was enough. Sometimes it would be mumbling under his breath about us but most times it was just him talking. Usually angrily. At nothing! I learned fast to find something that occupied me so I didn't have to listen to it. I got good at tuning it out.

laurie6781

OH yes. I remember early in my sober recovery of trying to figure out if I had actually had these conversations or not as I remembered them and came to understand that it was just part of the progression of my alcoholism.

In all likelihood he is talking to folks that are either long dead or long gone from his life.

I do like the suggestion to hum along with him, or if you know the words to BELT THEM OUT, roflmao that will sure throw him for a loop.

Of course, not as a big a loop, as he comes to and finds you and daughter gone, lol

Stay strong, not much longer now.

Keep coming here and venting and letting us know how you are doing, we do care so very much.

Love and hugs,

blessed4x

Sounds like he is continuing to remind you of the reasons you are seeking a place of greater peace! BTW, my AH mutters and hums, too. He sometimes will turn the TV up louder and louder because he can't hear for all the noise.....HIS NOISE!!

TooMuch4TooLong

:ghug I just now saw these responses, the insomniac in me has kicked into over drive the last couple of days. What a difference in my life and in such a short time. No I am not saying I am done, far from it! I have a lot of work to still do.

I had almost forgotten about the humming. I actually did hum back at him, since he never had an actual song I would do the theme from Close Encounters at him lol.

It is hard to imagine that a month ago I was feeling like Orviske, only with out being preggars or as nice lol. Ain't life grand y'all!

sailorjohn

Tell ya, I read some of the emails the axgf sent me over the weekend, one of them fairly threatening, made me laugh out loud. Then I felt sick, at first I thought it was guilt but I realized it was grief. What a waste. God I hate this disease.

TooMuch4TooLong

It gets better Sailor, I am living proof of it. There is life beyond. Do your grieving, it needs to be done. Only you know how to do it but we are here while you are and we will be here when it is time to stop and you are ready to move forward. Peace John, I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Jadmack25

My exAH used to sit and drink on the verandah, in the dark, and his conversations with the "folk who weren't there" had me wondering about his sanity. He was so aggro and boy the language should have stripped the paint off the walls. At all other times he was a lovely man, never used a swear word at home or in company. After I left he went downhill fast and now it pains me to hear of his state of health. He has been off the booze for over 5 years now, but too late for him. Has major peripheral nerve damage, memory loss and other brain problems, and since breaking his hip last year is almost totally bedridden. What a pitiful loss of a once fine gentleman. Heartbreaking.