Sick feeling over this
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Sick feeling over this
So my 13yr old son had some teeth extracted today. He was put under for the first time in his life.
When he came out of it they led me into the recovery room and he was there with a bloody grin and mouth full of gauze just excited as hell to be "out of it," and feel so dizzy. He couldn't stop talking a mile a minute and he wanted to know if he could get up and go walk around the streets like this, it would be so much fun! He sat up, had a dry heave, and I helped him lay back down, and tried to get him to settle down, said he wasn't going anywhere, and he was under the effects of some powerful drugs right now, etc....
He looked at me and said, with attitude, "Mom, I'm in total control right now. This is awesome!"
Guys. My heart was racing. I was in a cold sweat. I was in that bad codie place of not knowing what to say or how to react AT ALL, but thinking! thinking! that it was imperative that I SAY the exact right thing and act the exact right way so that ...WHAT B? My son won't grow up to be a drug addict or alkie. Paralyzed.
I feel sick over this. It has naturally always been a big fear of mine because of the prevalance of alcoholism in my family (if DNA plays a role well....yikes!)...and this morning just seeing my son so out of it eyes rolling in the back of his head, giggling like a madman, profusely thanking the Doctor (who thought it was funny) and then later on the way home he said with such conviction, "I knew I was going to like this experience!"
I was speechless.
All my life I've wondered how "normal" people react to things like this...like if you don't have all the baggage, all the knowledge and pain of what addiction does to your loved ones...what's that like I wonder?????????
Then his stepmom came over to visit and he was telling her about it and she turned to me and said - "Well that doesn't bode well for future drug use- pleasure seeking" ...and I just wanted to punch her in the nose....for....for...for EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh.
Ugh.
Gotta let it go I know.
B.
When he came out of it they led me into the recovery room and he was there with a bloody grin and mouth full of gauze just excited as hell to be "out of it," and feel so dizzy. He couldn't stop talking a mile a minute and he wanted to know if he could get up and go walk around the streets like this, it would be so much fun! He sat up, had a dry heave, and I helped him lay back down, and tried to get him to settle down, said he wasn't going anywhere, and he was under the effects of some powerful drugs right now, etc....
He looked at me and said, with attitude, "Mom, I'm in total control right now. This is awesome!"
Guys. My heart was racing. I was in a cold sweat. I was in that bad codie place of not knowing what to say or how to react AT ALL, but thinking! thinking! that it was imperative that I SAY the exact right thing and act the exact right way so that ...WHAT B? My son won't grow up to be a drug addict or alkie. Paralyzed.
I feel sick over this. It has naturally always been a big fear of mine because of the prevalance of alcoholism in my family (if DNA plays a role well....yikes!)...and this morning just seeing my son so out of it eyes rolling in the back of his head, giggling like a madman, profusely thanking the Doctor (who thought it was funny) and then later on the way home he said with such conviction, "I knew I was going to like this experience!"
I was speechless.
All my life I've wondered how "normal" people react to things like this...like if you don't have all the baggage, all the knowledge and pain of what addiction does to your loved ones...what's that like I wonder?????????
Then his stepmom came over to visit and he was telling her about it and she turned to me and said - "Well that doesn't bode well for future drug use- pleasure seeking" ...and I just wanted to punch her in the nose....for....for...for EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh.
Ugh.
Gotta let it go I know.
B.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I'll punch step mother in the nose for you!
First off, I wouldn't make too much of this. Quite frankly some of those drugs do make you feel happy. I can be enjoyable (why else would addicitions to happy drugs happen). But reacting the way your son did is normal. It doesn't mean he's destined to be a druggie!
What I would do, and what I have done and still do with my sons, is have frank talks about drugs, how they can make you feel, why that feeling can be a warning sign, etc. Talking to your son, being open and honest about the possible genetic link to addictive behaviors is what you can do.
First off, I wouldn't make too much of this. Quite frankly some of those drugs do make you feel happy. I can be enjoyable (why else would addicitions to happy drugs happen). But reacting the way your son did is normal. It doesn't mean he's destined to be a druggie!
What I would do, and what I have done and still do with my sons, is have frank talks about drugs, how they can make you feel, why that feeling can be a warning sign, etc. Talking to your son, being open and honest about the possible genetic link to addictive behaviors is what you can do.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Yeah, you know. Let it go. 
Just because he looks like he may be a pleasure-seeker doesn't mean he'll use drugs to do it. And even if he does experiment with drugs as a teenager, almost ALL teens do and only a small percentage go on to develop addiction problems, genetics or not.
I love(d) anesthesia too. But other drugs I can take or leave....yuck. So there's no indicator there that he'll turn to other things.
Can you talk to him about his experience, Bernadette? Can you find a way to use this as an opportunity to start a conversation ?
Are there local drug abuse organizations or doctors you can talk with about learning more about apparent propensity for drug use, things you can do to keep the channels of communication open?
Hugs to you ...... I know how this must feel
Just because he looks like he may be a pleasure-seeker doesn't mean he'll use drugs to do it. And even if he does experiment with drugs as a teenager, almost ALL teens do and only a small percentage go on to develop addiction problems, genetics or not.I love(d) anesthesia too. But other drugs I can take or leave....yuck. So there's no indicator there that he'll turn to other things.
Can you talk to him about his experience, Bernadette? Can you find a way to use this as an opportunity to start a conversation ?
Are there local drug abuse organizations or doctors you can talk with about learning more about apparent propensity for drug use, things you can do to keep the channels of communication open?
Hugs to you ...... I know how this must feel
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Prince Frederick, MD
Posts: 72
I have an AS and I am sorry to say that he also was a little too happy when given medications for medical procedures. It is good that you saw this reaction though so you can be aware if he is given painkillers for any other reason to tightly tightly control his use and if necessary let him tough it out with Tylenol etc. Of course this only works while he is a child and of course he may not even develop an issue. Personally I think addiction is 100% genetic.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
what others have said....also, try not to project to the worst case scenario 30 years from today.
IE: stay in the day. This day.
how a person with no, zero, nada, zilch~ history of drug addiction or alcoholism....( is there really such a person?!?....)would respond to your situation with y0ur son is so hypothetical, that it dosent really help to even try and imagine it.
You are okay.
Your son is okay.
You will be okay.
Your son will be okay.
IE: stay in the day. This day.
how a person with no, zero, nada, zilch~ history of drug addiction or alcoholism....( is there really such a person?!?....)would respond to your situation with y0ur son is so hypothetical, that it dosent really help to even try and imagine it.
You are okay.
Your son is okay.
You will be okay.
Your son will be okay.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
(((B))),
We can choose to dread life, or we can choose to trust in our HP's and the universe, B. I understand your fears, particularly in hindsight and with a son who got himself addicted to pain-killers. We talk a lot about addiction in our home, and it's not always been pretty or wonderful like I had hoped and dreamed-fantasized, actually, since that seems to be the theme of the week here at SR. Just remember to take it all one day at a time, B, and not to awfulyze about the future, which isn't written yet. Model the behaviors you want for your son, and love him unconditionally. Remember all that you have learned about codependency and your complete lack of control of the actions of others. Keep your expectations simple, and stick with one day at a time. Fear is debilitating, and crushes YOUR spirit. And you have such a wonderful spirit, B.
We can choose to dread life, or we can choose to trust in our HP's and the universe, B. I understand your fears, particularly in hindsight and with a son who got himself addicted to pain-killers. We talk a lot about addiction in our home, and it's not always been pretty or wonderful like I had hoped and dreamed-fantasized, actually, since that seems to be the theme of the week here at SR. Just remember to take it all one day at a time, B, and not to awfulyze about the future, which isn't written yet. Model the behaviors you want for your son, and love him unconditionally. Remember all that you have learned about codependency and your complete lack of control of the actions of others. Keep your expectations simple, and stick with one day at a time. Fear is debilitating, and crushes YOUR spirit. And you have such a wonderful spirit, B.
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 369
Bernadette - My guys are still very young, but I have this exact same fear. (((HUGS))) I'm sure I would have had the same emotions you did.
Hopefully once the painkillers wear off, he won't be quite so giddy about this experience. Might help him to see the feel-good part along the let-down, ya know?
Hopefully once the painkillers wear off, he won't be quite so giddy about this experience. Might help him to see the feel-good part along the let-down, ya know?
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((((Bernadette))))))
I am hoping he has a little bit of a hang-over from the drugs so that maybe you can point that out as a negative of even doctor supervised drug dosing.
Teens start trying to pull away from their parents and it is easy to loose communication with them. They still need the guidance of their parents and they still will listen to you.
Each child has their own path just as we all do. I would not want to make more of this than necessary. I would want to address it calmly with my child and talk about choices and where they lead.
Don't forget addiction loves to pull our chain so we can stay sick too...
I am hoping he has a little bit of a hang-over from the drugs so that maybe you can point that out as a negative of even doctor supervised drug dosing.
Teens start trying to pull away from their parents and it is easy to loose communication with them. They still need the guidance of their parents and they still will listen to you.
Each child has their own path just as we all do. I would not want to make more of this than necessary. I would want to address it calmly with my child and talk about choices and where they lead.
Don't forget addiction loves to pull our chain so we can stay sick too...
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Bernadette 
A lot of great things said above- Live in today honestly -
Thinking the worst is something I have learned over the years is what
will come to me- IMHO What we put out there is what we will get in return-
I can understand your concern however live today and guide him through
his life with love, caring and devotion things will be just fine...
We all have choices in life and I agree with Splendra address it calmy to him
and talk about certain things i.e. addiction and where it leads.
Keep your head up and stay in the moment you and he will be just fine
He is young and it probably was just something new for him and nothing to worry
about...if you forget about it, it is
possible that he will too!
Keep moving forward the way you two always have!
A lot of great things said above- Live in today honestly -
Thinking the worst is something I have learned over the years is what
will come to me- IMHO What we put out there is what we will get in return-
I can understand your concern however live today and guide him through
his life with love, caring and devotion things will be just fine...
We all have choices in life and I agree with Splendra address it calmy to him
and talk about certain things i.e. addiction and where it leads.
Keep your head up and stay in the moment you and he will be just fine
He is young and it probably was just something new for him and nothing to worry
about...if you forget about it, it is
possible that he will too!
Keep moving forward the way you two always have!
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