Courage to Change ~ August 24 ~ Anger
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Join Date: Aug 2002
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Courage to Change ~ August 24 ~ Anger
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 8/24
I’m usually such a gentle, easy-going person that you’d never believe what happens when I get angry. I fly into a rage, my blood pressure seems to double, and I unleash a torrent of profanity. After years in Al-Anon, my anger is still a problem, but my behavior has greatly improved.
Some time ago my dog got its feet tangled in an extension cord and broke a beautiful vase. My temper flared, and angry words cut like sharp swords. What helped me to change this behavior was the look of hurt and bewilderment on my pet’s face at the sudden, violent change in me. If a little animal could respond this way, what were my outbursts doing to the people in my life who understood every nasty word?
Today’s Reminder
I am human and I get angry, but I don’t have to act out my anger in destructive ways. I do not have the right to take it out on others. Whether my usual response is to scream, sulk in cold silence, or lash out with cruel words, today I can look at what I do when I get mad. Maybe next time I will try something new.
“We can pave the way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find healthy outlets for our own negative feelings.”
The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
I’m usually such a gentle, easy-going person that you’d never believe what happens when I get angry. I fly into a rage, my blood pressure seems to double, and I unleash a torrent of profanity. After years in Al-Anon, my anger is still a problem, but my behavior has greatly improved.
Some time ago my dog got its feet tangled in an extension cord and broke a beautiful vase. My temper flared, and angry words cut like sharp swords. What helped me to change this behavior was the look of hurt and bewilderment on my pet’s face at the sudden, violent change in me. If a little animal could respond this way, what were my outbursts doing to the people in my life who understood every nasty word?
Today’s Reminder
I am human and I get angry, but I don’t have to act out my anger in destructive ways. I do not have the right to take it out on others. Whether my usual response is to scream, sulk in cold silence, or lash out with cruel words, today I can look at what I do when I get mad. Maybe next time I will try something new.
“We can pave the way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find healthy outlets for our own negative feelings.”
The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Actually, I was just the opposite kind of person. I was never allowed to be angry - "nice girls didn't get angry"! There was a time when I would say that I never got angry at all.
Now I know that I WAS angry, I just showed it in different ways. I got frustrated, I cried, I got headaches... and I was sarcastic at times.
Recovery has taught me that feelings are JUST feelings, not facts. I have a choice about what to do with my feelings and how to express them. Feeling ALL of the feelings that I have ~ and allowing myself to do so ~ has made my life a much richer experience.
Now I know that I WAS angry, I just showed it in different ways. I got frustrated, I cried, I got headaches... and I was sarcastic at times.
Recovery has taught me that feelings are JUST feelings, not facts. I have a choice about what to do with my feelings and how to express them. Feeling ALL of the feelings that I have ~ and allowing myself to do so ~ has made my life a much richer experience.
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