luli2979

I have cried like a week non stop straight up, I don't know what's wrong with me but I just feel sad and angry with myself all the time.

My AH is drinking more than ever, but he says that he drinks as usual and that who changed was me. That before I was not seing and now I do.

We had a little chat last Friday and I realice one more time, that he won't stop drinking and he just wants to "reach the bottom" with or without me. That killed me.

I just wanna be happy and make all these feelings go away. Did I ask too much?

Barbara52

It is never asking too much to express what you want and need. It is however up to your AH to respond to your request.

Unfortunately it seems his response is not what you want or need. So you get to decide what you are willing to do to change your life. You cannot change him. You can change how you respond to him, how you continue to live with him or whether you continue to live with him.

HopeTo180

Luli,
I'm sorry you're upset. I think you realize that he will have to decide when the time is right. You are setting a good example and it is up to him to follow. You are impatient that it's not quick enough and I understand that. He is alone in his own fight and he wants to be. Stay true to yourself because you are all you have right now. Lead the way and his day will come. If you can stay at a friends house or your mothers, to gather your thoughts, it might give you clarity. Pull back a little so he realizes what may be lost.

luli2979

Thanks for your answers.
It seems that I am on my own, because my parents won't understand this. They are a little special.
I want a change, but I don't know where to start... I am so confused right now...

Bernadette

Hiya Luli--
Sorry you are going through this hard time.

AlAnon might be a good place to start and find relief from this pain. AlAnon is where family members can go to learn how to heal THEMSELVES from the ravages of living with and loving an alcoholic. You can learn many tools there for helping you get out of this misery and find peace and serenity and direction in YOUR life whether the alcoholic you love keeps drinking or not! Maybe give it a try!

Here is a hotline where you can find out about AlAnon meetings in Hong Kong
HK24 Hour Help Line (852) 6621 1540 (ask about AlAnon)

ALANON
Building / Floor12 Borrett Rd.(near Bowen Rd.), Midlevels, Hong Kong
This is a meeting for friends and or relatives of alchoholics. We provide an anonymous support group which is free and requires only a small donation if possible.AA meetings also take place at same location. The only requirement for Alanon is that their be a problem with alchohol in the family, relative or friend.The meeting time is 6:00 p.m. on Sunday.We hope to see you there.

This is just one idea that might help - but any kind of reaching out to a therapist or an understanding friend may help you...

Remember the three C's
You didn't Cause it.
You can't Control it.
You can't Cure it.

And stick around here at SR! Many have been in your shoes and have found a way to get off the rollercoaster and work towards happiness, peace and
serenity in their lives.

(((hugs)))
B.