wish he'd quit

AH and I were arguing the other day. The kids were in bed, but ds kept comming out of his room and into the hall way because he knew something was going on. I had told AH shortly before that that a guy that I had dated casually had asked me out a while back but I hadn't gone. So when ds is in the hall way, I'm trying to get AH to stop talking. Of course he wouldn't and started going on and on about how my boyfriend from the Sheriffs department will never make as much there as his job. I'm pretty sure that ds heard it. I pull ds aside and tell him that sometimes he may hear things that people say, but that doesn't make what he hears true all the time. Sometimes he may only hear part of a conversation or sometimes people just say things that arent true. He seemed ok with it and hasn't mentioned anything else about it. I also told AH that it was completely inappropriate of him to do that. He claims that he didn't know that he was standing there. He probably did it just to make ds think that everything is my fault. ARGH!!!!!!!!!

Impurrfect

He's trying to take the focus off of HIM and put it on you. I think you did great, talking to ds about it. Kids have very vivid imaginations, and by talking to him, you probably kept that imagination from running wild.

Maybe the next time he wants to argue, just tell him "I'm not arguing with you" and walk away. I know it's easier said than done, but most people I know (including the ex) give up when there's no one to argue WITH.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

cem001

Ok, one I am confused. You are still married correct? Then you have a boyfriend? DS? What's that? I don't always get this short hand stuff.

For one, you have to take care of yourself and that means figure out what you want to live with the rest of your life. I am in the process of doing this myself right now. It's not an easy decission.

My RAH of 3 years 10 months (today) have made it a rule to NOT discuss anything personal in the house around our children. They are 17, 15 1/2 & 13 1/2. They can turn things around faster than you can blink an eye.

Good luck. But just remember you have a choice. A choice to stay, to leave.

Lilyflower

((((Wish)))), I think you handled it well too. It is important to talk things out with children in a way that can understand to help abate any fears - good for you!

My exabf would never shut up when my daughter was around either, and would threaten to tell her my 'secrets' (wtf?) when I would tell him to stop. I ended up just walking away from him too.

Have you had a chat with your little'ins about your separation and possible divorce?

Keep your chin up, find your serenity and don't let go!

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

wish he'd quit

Ok, one I am confused. You are still married correct? Then you have a boyfriend? DS? What's that?

I am still married. No I don't have a boyfriend. AH was calling the guy that I had told him asked me out my boyfriend because he thinks anyone who even looks at me of the opposite sex must want me. Ds stands for darling son.



Have you had a chat with your little'ins about your separation and possible divorce?

He told them as soon as he found out. My daughter is only 2 so she has no idea. But AH has filled my son's head with all sorts of garbage which I have to then back track on what he said and explain the way it really is to him. AH has the tendancy to tell him more information than a 5 yr old needs to know or understand.

LaTeeDa

This is tragic. Your son is in the middle of a "he said" "she said" situation. He must feel very confused right now. Have you considered counseling for him? It helped my children immensely to have a neutral third-party person to discuss their fears with. (BTW, counseling really helped me, too.)

L

wish he'd quit

Yea AH and I are going to go to counseling to make the break easier and to find ways to parent better between us. I am also going to see about getting our son into see one.