need opinions please
 

So after all he said yesterday about telling his girlfriend that it isn't going to work, he apparently had a change of heart. He is going to stay with her. Ok what ever. I did tell him that he needs to tell me if he was "with" her before or after this last time we were together. He refused to answer me. I only wanted to know because I'm not one who is with just anyone and wasn't sure if I should be getting checked for anything if he is sleeping around. I feel I have the right to know, but he seems to think differently. Of course he had been drinking who knows how much during this discussion.


During the course of the conversation he also was telling me that over the last 6 years I have done nothing but make him feel like crap. Right now he claims he doesn't care if he lives or dies. I see this for the manipulation that it is. I know I have posted before about talking to our family doctor. While I understand what he says and does is his business and decisions, he will have every other weekend with the kids and various other visitation rights. I have already told the attorney drawing up our papers that I want the whole clause added about no drinking while caring for the kids. But I really want the doctors opinion on whether he feels he is stable enough to keep them. I have also told him that at any time if he feels that he needs me to come and get the kids I will do so. I don't know I'm just so worried about the kids.

Until he can prove to the court that he is sober and clean have your attorney request 'Supervised Visitation.' It is not right to subject your children to a drunken father.

Also, please get yourself tested. With his drinking you cannot trust anything he says or doesn't say.

J M H O

Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing, we do care very much! Have you tried alanon? That can give you some local face to face support that we all so desperately need some times.

Love and hugs,

Thank you so much for responding. I haven't tried any other types of counseling or groups. We are going to go to counseling so that we can make this as easy as possible. I have SO much resentment built up towards him that I can't even begin to say.Right now I want so much to go and tell his girlfriend all about him. I'm not going to stoop to his level though. I'm better than that. Honestly I think he decided to stay with her because he knew that I was not immediately comming back to him if at all. Staying with her means that he doesnt have to be alone with himself. I think to him t hat would be torture. Maybe part of it is too that I didn't think that he would find someone this quick. I so want him to have to be lonely. He has made me feel that way for so long, I just want him to know the feeling.

Someone on this board said it best once when they said that they already had the best of him in their kids. Thats kind of how I feel right now. SHe can have whats left.

Even though my husband (RAH) hasn't admitted to having an affair (but in my gut I know he has and by reason I KNOW HE had) I often wondered if I should be tested. This ***** that he was around wanted a sugar daddy, and she would screw anyone that would look her way. Scary thought huh.

Good luck. Stay strong for those babies and don't let him do anymore damage to them.

I think its only common sense to be tested for STDs if you even think there is a possibility of one's partner having been involved with another person.

I’ve heard it on here over and over:

Your gut is telling you what your mind doesn’t want to acknowledge.

Please get yourselves testes for STD’s.

Wish he’d quit ---- it sounds like you are trying to make it easy on him, instead go directly for supervised visits. Putting a clause in a document is not going to get him to NOT drink while your children are with him. And telling him you’ll come get the kids if he needs you to is like telling him you’ll pick him up from the bar, don’t make it easy. Stick to what will be the best thing for your kids and take all this worry out of the equation, SUPERVISED VISITS, PERIOD.