sunshine71

OK, ladies and gents I need to vent.

I shared with you my wonderful news that I got a job and I started yesterday. And, I love it. Of course I'm already looking at how to take the CEO's job, but thats a different subject. My darling husband is totally freaked out now. He has taken every fight, and every civil discussion and turned it back on me and me not having a job for so long. ANYTHING to avoid his drinking! Hell, being the b**ch I am I went and finally got a job and took away his number one excuse. It was his first excuse for our marriage being in shambles, his drinking and the first thing to turn to to avoid talking about his issues. Can you believe I am so thoughtless?

I have only worked 2 days but already I can feel my self esteem returning. I am regaining my confidence and it's wonderful! I am still very stressed about money, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see not feeling trapped. What a wonderful feeling!!! To know I don't need him for anything. However, as you can all probably imagine this is a serious threat to him. If I don't need him to keep the roof over our heads there is nothing to keep me from leaving.

OK, now on to tonight and my desire for the blue nail polish. He has been drinking more lately. Today he tells me he has had it and is leaving work at 2:45. Well, you realize this is more drinkin time. By the time I get home from work he is feeling pretty good. Around 7 I had to go to the grocery store, and he starts his boohoo crap. I have a job and I'm perfect and no matter what he does it's not enough. UGH!!!! I blew him off and after we got home he was sitting in the basement being a drunk. His nephew shows up with a motor and a riding mower. He decides since he is pissed at me to tell the punk ass kid and his buddy to put the **** directly behind my car. I went out and told him to move it without cussing or even screaming. His 18 year old nephew starts telling me to F off and he joins in. You know what....I didn't even care. My neighbors came out due to his screaming and he just looks the bigger fool. All I cared about was being able to leave for work in the morning.

After moving the crap he comes in the house and tells me we are done. LOL Does he really think that is a threat? Does he really think the idea of not living with a drunk, let alone a drunk who would do ANYTHING to keep me from being a better peson, is a threat? Does he think threating me with a life with peace and success is supposed to make me cringe and beg him not to leave???

How truly sick are these people? Now my sick spouse is passed out spread-eagled on the couch. And pink and gold just might be an alternative to blue at this point.

I know I still have a lot of work to do on me, but having this job will help me soooooooo much. I just have to come up with some plans for my son and I while hubby enjoys his drunk nights. Fortunatly he usually passes out by 8:30. Thanks for letting me vent and any imput from my family here. I love you guys!


HUGS
sunshine

marriedtoit

Sunshine,

Sorry I don't have any blue nail polish but I have to agree that the pink and gold would probably do the job!

First of all, congrats on the job! That's a great start to taking control of your life and you should be proud of yourself.

Your AH sounds a lot like mine. I have always held a job and my husband is always pulling crap to put my job in jeopardy. I can't understand that because he never worked and I have a sizeable income that allows me to provide for him. In the past he's hidden my car keys, rigged the car so it wouldn't start, called people I work with, etc. You name it, he's done it! I've been working at home full-time for the last six years so he's kind of limited in ways to screw with my job now but he still tries.

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said this is a serious threat to your husband and if you don't need him to keep the roof over your heads there is nothing to keep you from leaving. He probably felt in control before because you did need him financially and he knew it. When my husband drinks, he would rather see us on the streets than to know I have a way out. That's just their way of trying to stay in control.

I wish you the best in your new job and keep working on ways to nab that CEO position!

osier59

Sunshine,
Congrats on the new job! Keep those good thoughts, and you're right about the confidence. Its a spiral upward just like it is downward.... and you'll be feeling mighty fine soon.

Personally, I think any color will do just fine.... doesnt have to be blue. you could even use magic markers if you dont have finger nail polish

Lots of love
O59