juju

Wishing for the magic wand today. Wishing that I could wave it, and make it all go away.

I think I’ve been doing ok with my program; trying not to react, trying not to let his drinking affect me. Just trying to go with the flow and do what I gotta do. It must be working to a certain extent, we haven’t argued; he usually just goes to bed. But, dammit, it makes me crazy! It makes me crazy to watch him on his merry-go-round. He drinks, he feels terrible the next day for drinking, the next couple days he’s blah, he starts feeling better, better attitude, then it starts all over again. Maybe I’m not doing as well with my program as I thought!

He went to dr. this morning. Apparently, the dr really let into him about his drinking. Told him he’s going to end up losing his family, pancreatitis (sp??), etc.etc.. He called me and told me about it, then got mad at me when I didn’t go into a litany about “oh, don’t listen to him honey, that won’t happen” . I told him it wasn’t fair of him to expect me to say that. So, now he has attitude. Have fun with that.

I think it would be easier, except I’ve been really in the dumps lately. Haven’t been sleeping well, which doesn’t help. Tried melatonin last night, but now I feel more tired. Don’t feel like doing anything, then feel bad for not doing anything. I know that if I just get off my butt, I’ll feel alot better. But I just can’t seem to make that leap here lately. Hell, the other day I didn’t even get dressed. How lame is that??? I just would love to be on a deserted island right now. Just for a week or so! I'm just tired down to my soul.

Well, thanks for listening to me whine. It’s just getting old. I just want to smack him upside the head and say "just quit!!".



juju

Barbara52

If smacking them upside the head worked, I'd start a smacking service!

I'm sorry you are in pain. I have no advice on how to live with him and move toward the acceptance that seems to be necessary to do that successfully since I was not able to do it. I found that accepting that xAH was an alcoholic and he was doing what alcholics do meant for me that I had to leave. Others in here have been able to move to acceptance and stay. Hopefully some will be along to offer their experiences.

sailorjohn

I don't think you're whining, you're venting. I can remember biting my tongue on many occasions, like duh! Someone asking during a vicious hangover 'why they punish themselves like this' and wanting to say 'because you're an alcoholic? That was a trick question, right?'

theotherone

LOL...and I'd be first in line to come to work for you!