Baby Steps
 

I made my first baby step last night. I have been pondering the idea, without having quite the courage to go to Alanon for about a year. So I made my first step last night and I finally made it to the meeting. I have became such a bitter and angry person over the years and it isn't healthy for me, my kids or my marriage. I was finally able to walk through the doors and open up that chapter of my life with the intentions of doing it to help myself. Yes, of course I hope that someday my AH will follow suit, but for now this is what I need to do for myself. A year ago I wouldn't have made it out the door when my AH told me it would be the end of our marriage and that they will only tell me to leave him and to give him ultimatums, and to have a good life. I still made it to the meeting and was pleasantly surprised to find out that all the other women there are still married to their husbands. It felt very promising to me. So here I sit a day later still still over whelmed with emotions, my AH still isn't talking to me and is still angry with me. But I feel a bit of piece, because I know that I am taking the first step to helping myself and my kids and my marriage.

SOOOOO proud of you, karisma.

You have to do what's right for you and for your kids & marriage. Tiny little steps in the right direction and building a support group around you will move you in the direction of happiness, and that's all we can all hope for.

Remember that if he is really that worried about Al-Anon meetings he can always find one that you don't attend and check it out for himself. It's incredible to me how someone who's never been to a meeting seems to know so much about the program.

I'm so glad you decided to attend a meeting.

Way to go...

Here's what transformed my life.

I stuck around and worked the 12 steps through my home group of alanon.
I Reached out and got a sponsor to work the steps with as soon as I was ready.
The fellowship has been a pleasure. Some I see outside of the mtg. and they have become true friends and mentors.
I used the phone list when necessary.

I put the principles to work in all areas of my life.
I learned how to commuinicate on an emotional level and all my relationships improved.

Wishing you the same success !!!

There lies my biggest challenge. My AH father was forced into treatment by the other siblings. My AH still lived at home during this (youngest child). They made all the family members attend for a couple of weeks. Basically from what I have been told. Everyone told his dad everything he had ever done to hurt them. Tried to convince his mom to leave his dad. It basically traumatized my AH. He still gets very upset about the whole thing to this day. I do not believe that you can force an Alcoholic into treatment, it has to be done from within. So I guess I understand my AH fear of me going to Al anon, since he himself had such a terrible experience, but I am hoping that I can make him see through me going that not all meetings are like that. I am not going to give him ultimatums, or force him to attend meetings. I am doing this to help myself. So I guess I just pray that God will help give me the strength to help myself, but also help him to understand that AA and Al anon are not what he thinks they are.

Happy for you and I wanted to say good for you! Baby steps are good, necessary, healthy! I went to my first one earlier this week and my second one today, and its helped.