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-   -   he went to treatment (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/155439-he-went-treatment.html)

stillsearching 08-11-2008 03:12 PM

he went to treatment
 
Ok, you guys all know that my AH was arrested last week, he went into detox for 2 days and now is enrolled in a 3 time weekly program. I wanted him to go to a 30 day inpatient, but, the insurance would not pay for it. Now he is telling me he does not want the divorce, he wants to keep our family together.....he won't drink, does not want to drink...blah, blah, blah....for years our family has been on the bottom of the list, his drinking ALWAYS came first.

Well, I told him action speak louder than words, I am not backing down on the divorce, our first hearing is next week...why should I stop it, because he wants too?? What about what I want for me and my daughter??? I plan to follow through, he can start paying child support and we can see what happens down the road, but I for one am not making any promises....had he not got caught last week, he would still be happy to throw our family out the door to keep drinking.....

LaTeeDa 08-11-2008 03:17 PM


Originally Posted by stillsearching (Post 1866990)
Well, I told him action speak louder than words, I am not backing down on the divorce, our first hearing is next week...why should I stop it, because he wants too?? What about what I want for me and my daughter??? I plan to follow through, he can start paying child support and we can see what happens down the road, but I for one am not making any promises....had he not got caught last week, he would still be happy to throw our family out the door to keep drinking.....

WOW! I wish I had been this smart and strong the first gazillion times mine promised he would quit! Now, that's what enforcing your boundaries is all about!

L

Barbara52 08-11-2008 06:40 PM

stillsearching, you sound so strong and sure!

justsomegirl 08-11-2008 06:43 PM

Good luck. I know we always want to believe what they say.

Redheadsusie 08-11-2008 07:33 PM

You are smart....
 
You can always get back together. Take Care of your daughter and you and if he is serious about it....who knows what will happen.right. I wish you the best.

BohemiMamaof3 08-12-2008 02:12 PM


Originally Posted by Redheadsusie (Post 1867260)
You can always get back together. Take Care of your daughter and you and if he is serious about it....who knows what will happen.right. I wish you the best.

Yes!

FormerDoormat 08-12-2008 03:36 PM

I've never regretted making a choice to take care of me and live a better life. You rock!

Rainbowsend 08-12-2008 05:05 PM

Good on you girl. Sounds like your heads in the right place

stillsearching 08-12-2008 05:14 PM

Thanks you guys, I think the reason I am able to stick with it now is because of all the years of lies and manipulations in the past, the I will cut back, the I want to stay togethers, but all along keeping up the same crappy behavior, I don't feel sorry for him now, he did this, not me, for years I begged, pleaded cried for him to get help, I was always told screw you, well not this time. For years I was the one who sat home and took care of the children while he went out, each and every time he left, I would ask him to please stay home with us so we could have family time....each and every time he left....so now when it could cost him his job, he wants me to stop everything else?? I think not, everything that is going on now is because of his actions, not mine. Also since the divorce is started all the assests are frozen, he wanted money to pay for a attorney...well it isn't going come out of the joint money...figure it out, that ticked him off, but in my opinion he needs to feel the FULL effect of what HE caused and live with it....

HopeandPrayer 08-12-2008 05:25 PM

:a122: Good for you, This is the most powerful show I have seen for setting the boundaries.

YOU ROCK


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