Depression, compulsive overeating . . .
Living in a Pinkful Place
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Depression, compulsive overeating . . .
This is a reading from the Al-Anon Devotional - Hope for Today - it really applied to me and my life - thought maybe some of you may be able to relate to it.
Peace,
Rita
Hope for Today – August 7
Depression, compulsive overeating, and low self-esteem are some ways my father’s alcoholism affected me. I had to attend many Al-Anon meetings, however, before I understood that the root of these shortcomings was my inability to be true to myself. I became aware of my tendency to let people take advantage of me because I wanted to please them. Yet I often felt depressed when I did something expected of me that ran counter to my goals or values. When I did stand up for myself, I felt guilty. My life was like walking a tightrope.
Al-Anon helped me discover my rights as a person. It began with being given the right to speak at meetings without interruption or advice. I was told my anonymity would be respected and only I had the right to disclose it. This was possibly one of the first choices I had ever been given.
Eventually I heard that “no” is a complete sentence and that I had a right to refuse without explanation. I learned the value of apply the Serenity Prayer to relationships and to my people-pleasing. If nothing I do or say can make people like or dislike me, then I might as well do what is in my best interest as long as it hurts no one else.
Lastly, through service I learned how to set realistic goals and achieve them step–by-step. I learned that success is irrelevant. Failure can be an opportunity to grow, not to beat myself up. This is how positive self-esteem is built. I never experienced the process of personal growth until I came to Al-Anon.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
With every meeting attended, with every Al-Anon tool worked and applied, the ability to value myself expands.
“Al-Anon taught me that I am worth something . . .but – most of all-that I can choose how to live my life.” From Survival to Recovery, p. 276
Peace,
Rita
Hope for Today – August 7
Depression, compulsive overeating, and low self-esteem are some ways my father’s alcoholism affected me. I had to attend many Al-Anon meetings, however, before I understood that the root of these shortcomings was my inability to be true to myself. I became aware of my tendency to let people take advantage of me because I wanted to please them. Yet I often felt depressed when I did something expected of me that ran counter to my goals or values. When I did stand up for myself, I felt guilty. My life was like walking a tightrope.
Al-Anon helped me discover my rights as a person. It began with being given the right to speak at meetings without interruption or advice. I was told my anonymity would be respected and only I had the right to disclose it. This was possibly one of the first choices I had ever been given.
Eventually I heard that “no” is a complete sentence and that I had a right to refuse without explanation. I learned the value of apply the Serenity Prayer to relationships and to my people-pleasing. If nothing I do or say can make people like or dislike me, then I might as well do what is in my best interest as long as it hurts no one else.
Lastly, through service I learned how to set realistic goals and achieve them step–by-step. I learned that success is irrelevant. Failure can be an opportunity to grow, not to beat myself up. This is how positive self-esteem is built. I never experienced the process of personal growth until I came to Al-Anon.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
With every meeting attended, with every Al-Anon tool worked and applied, the ability to value myself expands.
“Al-Anon taught me that I am worth something . . .but – most of all-that I can choose how to live my life.” From Survival to Recovery, p. 276
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 66
I too am a compulsive overeater and people pleaser. Saying no is getting better, but it is still difficult. Growing up in a dysfunctional/alcoholic family, I learned the other person's feelings mattered more than mine and that I was being selfish if I chose my own over someone else's. Also, I learned very early on that there were always strings attached to someone's giving to me, so I learned to do without instead of potentially having a confrontation. I have learned to swallow my needs and to sacrifice my happiness for approval and not causing conflict. There seems to be a lot of fear that drives my behavior....fear that I will be rejected, abandoned, or physically violated. I always feel like I owe everyone in my life an explanation for my behavior too. I owe myself the right to value my well being first instead of making someone else a god in my life. Recovery is slow, but wonderful when my behaviors start changing. Thanks for posting this!
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