rivka

He's out of treatment as of Tuesday, 8/5.

I assume hes clean now and glad to be alive

Heard he lost his job in the wake of long rehab-ernation,

and is upset like a waking bear that is growing impatient

He must deal with the aftermath of life long bad decisions

Comforted and helped by sobers, sponsor and physicians

New existence at soberliving now with a watchful eye

But he doesn't want me to help
I'm still asking myself why

Cause I'm here but invisible to his new sober mind

His focus is narrow and forward, he no longer looks behind

Where I am sitting and waiting for him to turn around

And see me, as I say something full of love and profound

But he's deaf to my voice and blind to my heart

the lack of attention just tears me apart

Its caring and love, right?
Just in these desperate times?

Co-needy
Co-wanty
Co-scary are these signs

I see how its co-different
I'm no longer myself
I've taken my life and stuck it up in a box on a shelf

I labeled it "misc" nothing important in there

It was much more important to gear my mind to prepare

A plan to create my happy ever after

With a man whose only six weeks past his last toxic disaster

He has so little to offer, yet I want to have all that I can

He has no home, no job, no money, no long term plan

No security, and no fidelity
To offer that I can see

And no sobriety yet
let alone any love for me

His father is deceased, he is estranged from his mother,

has not resolved these things--and not ready to love another

I know I know I know....my head has had enough..

My brain knows i need to move on....
but my heart just needs to catch up.

One foot in front of the other
One day at a time

Cant cure or control it
Read and acknowledge the signs

Let go resentment and hurt
Know what detach is about

It's time to take the box off the shelf
And let myself out.

bookwyrm

good poem!

Ann

Your poem really touched my heart. How sad that addiction affects so many, so profoundly, so deeply.

There is always hope, that little light that shines somewhere in our heart somewhere between the pain compartment and the compartment of faith, even blind faith, that nothing sad lasts forever but can teach us so much about ourselves.

Let yourself shine, girl, you have so much to offer, so much to live for and so much to teach others who are walking with you along this road of recovery.

Shine on, feel the light and let yourself be led.

Hugs

Lilyflower

You are truely talented my friend, this is powerful heart gripping stuff.

Beautiful... have you written more? - you seriously should think of publishing!


Thanks for sharing this,

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx