16 years, 1st sign of progress
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
16 years, 1st sign of progress
My AH went to his class reunion this weekend. I opted not to go. Had several reasons, mostly alcohol-related. So, rather than go and try to control, I opted to stay home and do some back-to-school shopping. Yay for me.
I was amazed at how my AH was when he got home. He was honest with everybody for once! Told some classmates that he's an alcoholic. Before this, he has clung to his "anonymity" for dear life.
His mother emailed me and asked him if I was coming down for the family reunion in 3 weeks. AH told her he'd be there but it was up to me if I'd be there. He said he's not going to try to control anyone anymore. She said she can't visit us that much because she's working fulltime at her church. He said that was her choice (she doesn't need the $$).
He told me being at his reunion made him realize how lucky he is to have me. He ended up wishing I had been there with him.
He smelled wonderful. I love the lack of alcohol in his skin. He looked good. He had a good time, and so did I and the kids.
I can't say this is him sober because he only has 2 weeks. But it's a danged breakthrough in his thinking for once. Consideration for my feelings. What a nice surprise. Life is grand, and not just because he's not drinking. But, because I didn't have any drama from him yesterday. Regardless of what he was doing, I was having a very productive day. It was just the icing on the cake. Yesterday I liked being married to him.
I was amazed at how my AH was when he got home. He was honest with everybody for once! Told some classmates that he's an alcoholic. Before this, he has clung to his "anonymity" for dear life.
His mother emailed me and asked him if I was coming down for the family reunion in 3 weeks. AH told her he'd be there but it was up to me if I'd be there. He said he's not going to try to control anyone anymore. She said she can't visit us that much because she's working fulltime at her church. He said that was her choice (she doesn't need the $$).
He told me being at his reunion made him realize how lucky he is to have me. He ended up wishing I had been there with him.
He smelled wonderful. I love the lack of alcohol in his skin. He looked good. He had a good time, and so did I and the kids.
I can't say this is him sober because he only has 2 weeks. But it's a danged breakthrough in his thinking for once. Consideration for my feelings. What a nice surprise. Life is grand, and not just because he's not drinking. But, because I didn't have any drama from him yesterday. Regardless of what he was doing, I was having a very productive day. It was just the icing on the cake. Yesterday I liked being married to him.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 55
I'm kind of experiencing the same thing myself for the first time in 19 years! My AH is only sober 36 days but still attending AA faithfully. Not only attending but actually working it. Over the last 36 days I have seen things I never thought I would see. He has been admitting he has a problem. He has told many of our family & friend that he is an acoholic, he has cut ties with all of his drinking buddies. He's also acknowledged a lot of the heck he put us through all these years. NONE of this ever happened before for him.
Believe me, I know it's not over. I still have a lot of things to work through for myself but I am accepting this for what it is right now. A much needed break and an even better chance for me to work on me with a clear head!
Our legal issues are coming up in a couple of weeks. He has to go to court for his DUI, hit&run, driving with a suspended license. I am so so scared about that but have been successful so far in not panicking too much. I still have anger that the kids and I will suffer for his problem but I am even working through that....most days.
Good for you that you are getting a break!
Believe me, I know it's not over. I still have a lot of things to work through for myself but I am accepting this for what it is right now. A much needed break and an even better chance for me to work on me with a clear head!
Our legal issues are coming up in a couple of weeks. He has to go to court for his DUI, hit&run, driving with a suspended license. I am so so scared about that but have been successful so far in not panicking too much. I still have anger that the kids and I will suffer for his problem but I am even working through that....most days.
Good for you that you are getting a break!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
That makes me smile and smile, respekting.
Whatever happens tomorrow, be grateful for today. Consider telling him what you've told us....from a place of kind detachment, and get on with your life. Plant the seed in his head and perhaps it will continue to grow. I hope this is a sign of things to come.
Now THAT's sexy!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever happens tomorrow, be grateful for today. Consider telling him what you've told us....from a place of kind detachment, and get on with your life. Plant the seed in his head and perhaps it will continue to grow. I hope this is a sign of things to come.
Now THAT's sexy!!!!!!!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
I know!!!!! He just asked me a week ago what he could do that I would find romantic and I had no answers.
Yesterday was REALLY romantic!!!!
He smiled, he was in a good place, he looked good. And a funny sidenote. A woman from his class was drunk and he said he felt really uncomfortable when she hugged him because she hung on too close for too long and rubbed her crotch against him. Ha!!! See how it is to be straight and be on the receiving end of some drunk antics?? I didn't say that of course.
Something really sexy about people who feel good about themselves. Someone can have physical attributes that are on the fence. But their attitude can convince me that they are really hot, or really not. That's what turns me on. I think I'll tell him that, since he asked.
Yesterday was REALLY romantic!!!!
He smiled, he was in a good place, he looked good. And a funny sidenote. A woman from his class was drunk and he said he felt really uncomfortable when she hugged him because she hung on too close for too long and rubbed her crotch against him. Ha!!! See how it is to be straight and be on the receiving end of some drunk antics?? I didn't say that of course.
Something really sexy about people who feel good about themselves. Someone can have physical attributes that are on the fence. But their attitude can convince me that they are really hot, or really not. That's what turns me on. I think I'll tell him that, since he asked.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Motown
Posts: 122
P.S.
And when he is in that place you love, take the bull by the horns and let him know! A smooch, a touch, a smile. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Rewarding "good" behavior doesn't just work on kids!
And when he is in that place you love, take the bull by the horns and let him know! A smooch, a touch, a smile. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Rewarding "good" behavior doesn't just work on kids!
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