I did it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: pa
Posts: 90
I did it!
Well I actually shut up before I flipped out.
Last night someone spilled pickle juice all over the refridgerator. Hello, don't lay the pickle jar on its side. It was probably AH or our almost 17 year old. Well it made me angry and I proceeded to vent about it. AH decided he would flip out on me, called my step-daughter (she was with her mother, but we are very close) and told her never to do things like that again. Told her that I was yelling and screaming at him for what she did. At first I started yelling back at him when he hung up with her. I don't usually do this. Mind you, he was sober even. I told him to stop bringing everyone in to our business and if he was going to be a $%#%%^^ I was going to be a &^^%$! I also told him from now on I am not going to be afraid of what I say when I say it. All I was doing was venting not yelling at him. He said he doesn't want to hear it. I made a loud sigh.
Then it hit me. Shut up. I didn't say another word. He left for two hours. When he came home I said nothing. So unlike me. He took money out of our account that we do not have and will probably get an overdraft charge for. But, I SAID NOTHING.
WoW, that is a really big step for me. It was so self satisfying not to let him get to me and I still had a good evening with my four year old. I talked to my step-daughter and she said she figured it was just her dad running his mouth.
Now, I hope I can keep this up and not let the codependent me come out raging. I really have to thank everyone on this board. You guys are great. I wish I would have found this board sooner.
Thanks so much,
Chris
Last night someone spilled pickle juice all over the refridgerator. Hello, don't lay the pickle jar on its side. It was probably AH or our almost 17 year old. Well it made me angry and I proceeded to vent about it. AH decided he would flip out on me, called my step-daughter (she was with her mother, but we are very close) and told her never to do things like that again. Told her that I was yelling and screaming at him for what she did. At first I started yelling back at him when he hung up with her. I don't usually do this. Mind you, he was sober even. I told him to stop bringing everyone in to our business and if he was going to be a $%#%%^^ I was going to be a &^^%$! I also told him from now on I am not going to be afraid of what I say when I say it. All I was doing was venting not yelling at him. He said he doesn't want to hear it. I made a loud sigh.
Then it hit me. Shut up. I didn't say another word. He left for two hours. When he came home I said nothing. So unlike me. He took money out of our account that we do not have and will probably get an overdraft charge for. But, I SAID NOTHING.
WoW, that is a really big step for me. It was so self satisfying not to let him get to me and I still had a good evening with my four year old. I talked to my step-daughter and she said she figured it was just her dad running his mouth. Now, I hope I can keep this up and not let the codependent me come out raging. I really have to thank everyone on this board. You guys are great. I wish I would have found this board sooner.
Thanks so much,
Chris
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
(( chris ))
Good for you ! Baby steps - one day at a time. That's how we work this stuff. A small change in one person's behavior really can have a big impact on a whole lot of relationship dynamics.
It's nice that you were able to catch yourself, not say something you'd have to make amends for later and were able to enjoy your time with your son.
Woo hoo !
Cats
Good for you ! Baby steps - one day at a time. That's how we work this stuff. A small change in one person's behavior really can have a big impact on a whole lot of relationship dynamics.
It's nice that you were able to catch yourself, not say something you'd have to make amends for later and were able to enjoy your time with your son.
Woo hoo !
Cats
Looking for the silver lining
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: South Florida
Posts: 243
Awesome! There was a saying I picked up from an Al-Anon meeting: You don't have to accept an invitation to every fight your invited to.
What a great step! Keep it up, chickie:
What a great step! Keep it up, chickie:
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The beautiful Midwest
Posts: 202
Great job WW. It has always been hard for me to keep quiet too, especially when I am honked off. Others on this board have given great advice and it works! I am practicing baby steps myself and am very thankful I have others who understand and have "been there".
I do a lot of journaling to let things out that I would have, otherwise, blurted out in an angry fit.
I do a lot of journaling to let things out that I would have, otherwise, blurted out in an angry fit.
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