Mom called
 

So my mom left the sober house she was in after only a week. She never told us she wasn't going back, but when my aunt called to talk to her, the lady told her mom had been using again and wasn't returning. We didn't know where she was for a few days until I woke up yesterday morning to 5 messages on the machine. She must have called in the middle of the night but because we had the bedroom door closed and the AC on we didn't hear it ring. Anyway, mom was hysterical crying...saying "Krissy, please come get me...I need you....help" Five messages just like that.....she didn't even leave a number to call until the last two messages.

I called the number when I woke up but no one answered so I left a message. She would only call me, her oldest child, or her sister and we're both waiting for another call. I just don't know what to do if and when she calls back. I hate the thought of her being sooo upset, it kills me. I wish I could do something. But I can't really take her in and just take care of her cause I feel like that is avoiding the problem. If she calls again I guess I will just have to make it clear that I can offer her a ride to detox and that is it.

To top it off my husband is in the navy and he left to go out to sea for a few months today. He is my rock and really the only one I talk to about it all. So now I'm home alone...worrying about where my mother is and missing my hubby. Blegh!

I think your idea of
 

offering her a ride to detox is good. I'm sure that you are frustrated because you feel like she is out there alone and hurting and there is nothing that you can do for her. But there really is nothing that you can do for her, until she is ready to get help and be serious about it. I'm sorry that all this is going on when your husband isn't around to give you some support. This is a good place to check in for support and encouragement when you need it. I hope that you hear from your Mom soon and that she is ready to get some help.
Peace,
Gabe

Fisher

I think the "not knowing" can be the worst of all this. The thing is that she is either ready to take her recovery seriously, or she is not. If she is...detox is a good start and they can help her get back into a program. If she is not...all you help and love won't change anything and will drive you crazy.

You are not repsonsible for her addiction, not are you responsible for her recovery. Don't feel guilty or as if YOU need to do anything. She knows where help is, if she wants it.

I'm sending hugs and prayers that you both will be safe.

Thank you both for your kind words. She called my cell today but didn't leave a message, and I keep getting hang ups at the house tonight. I'm almost positive it's her, she just hasn't gotten up the nerve to say anything yet.

You're right....this waiting and wondering part is definitely the hardest. I know there's nothing I can do, so it makes me feel helpless. I guess all I really can do is pray that she'll wake up one of these days and go back into a program.

Thanks for listening!

(((((((Fisher)))))))
 

Wow! The stress this is causing you.........

I agree--an offer to take her to detox is really all you can do. Anything else is only going to drive you crazy. You can't take her in--especially without your husband there for support. It's not your responsibility--she did this to herself, and has to make the decisions for herself.

In the meantime--do something for yourself to take your mind off your troubles--shop, read a good book, something. You deserve some relax time.

Hugs,

Lyn