loner1968

I find it fascinating and strange that we follow "scripts". Why is this? Anyone have any clue?

How can it be that no matter where we are in the world or what culture we come from we follow the same scripts when it comes to addiction and codependence?:wtf2

GiveLove

Because we're animals. Many say it's in our genes, as women, to seek safety and protection and to manipulate so we can keep that safety ("safety" being loosely defined as "the devil you know") Others say that men are wired a certain way, and that our society doesn't make them feel powerful or needed....most alcoholic males in my family were deeply unhappy about not being able to make things be the way they wanted them to be. Really depends on who you believe, and whether you buy into that anthropology aspect of things....... Anyway, when I learned through recovery to step outside my behavior and observe, "Hmmm, my hormones are telling me to do that, not my brain" then I started down a road where all the scripts got left in the dumpster along the way. Good riddance!!!!!!!

Barbara52

The "scripts" I think come from many things. One is hormones as GiveLove stated. Another is that mental health issues do indeed follow some set patterns. So those who are codependent follow the script that goes along with that. Those who are ACOA follow the script that goes with that. Those who are battered spouses follow their script. Now within these labels there is also wide variation in the individual's behaviors and the degree to which they follow the script. All these scripts interact with each other. And then you can throw in the general societal scripts based on being male or female.

Whew, there are a lot of scripts we all follow from this way of looking at it (and its only valid to a point). At least we follow them until we learn to recognize when we are following the script and start tearing the script up so that we aren't acting in that unhealthy way and learn to write our own healthy script.

peaceteach

It is an interesting commonality, for sure. Recognizing that fact could also be the catalyst for believing the advice of others who have been there, done that. It's like watching a train wreck for some who have walked the entire 25 year walk, knowing exactly what is about to happen, here on S.R. Makes you want to reach in the computer and pull the codie OUT of the loop they are stuck in, because you know they don't have to walk that entire walk; they could step out anytime and avoid so much pain. The scripts are the same, but the outcomes don't have to be for the codpendent loved one. They can alter the ending of the script just like that.