prettywoman

First the most important thing..............my little angel is doing fantastic! He is gaining weight and I got to actually hold him last night!! I was so nervous holding him! It was the most wonderful feeling I ever had!!!!!!!!

My ex called last night, after not hearing anything for almost 15 days. He left a message and he apologized. I felt good hearing his apology because I deserved to hear it.

Girls, you know I still love him. I always will. This is so hard. Now that I am on the road of not needing him anymore, living my life without him , there he is calling me.

What do I do with this now? Nothing! I am going to keep doing what I am doing! I am going to continue going strong and stay focused on what is important, my baby and myself.

I have done so well and I have days now I don't even think of my ex anymore. It feels so good to have serenity. To not have all this drama in my life.

Do you believe, I mean do you think he could actually change? Is there hope for him yet?

He has done so much evil. He was never there. All these online girls........could he really change after all of the evil? Am I being to harsh?

If he came today and said he wants his family and that he has changed , can I believe this?

What do you all think?

Blessing to all of you. You have become a wonderful family for me. Thank you!

phoenix

Talk is cheap.I've had too many of those "heart to heart" conversations that turned out to be meaningless.No more of those games for me.I'd want to see change,and not just on the surface...real change.Only then....maybe.But you know the "one more chance routine" by now.It gets old.Follow your head,not your heart.

phoenix

Debbie

Glad to hear the baby is doing so well. It must have been a great joy for you to be able to hold him. I hope he continues to thrive and you are both together all the time soon.

Take care.
Debbie

JT

I agree 1000% with Phoenix. Don't tell me show me!

I fully believe they mean what they say when they say it...but are unable to follow through because of the addiction. His apology was probably sincere. BUT...only time will tell if he can back it up.

Hugs,
JT

2many2count

prettywoman,
My heart goes out to you right now because I know that this is hard for you. I agree with phoenix and JT. Actions speak louder than words. I wish you the best.

Much Love,
2many2count

myles1

Prettywoman,

I hate to tell you but part of their game is to reappear when you are starting to get strong. It's to hook you back in, and apologies and promises of change are all part of that hooking game.

He has an addiction, he is sick he wants to manipulate you plain and simple.

If someone is really serious about getting well then they go and get the help they need and be working on themselves for awhile before they reconnect with you.

Ngaire

Gabe

what Myles said. They really do reappear when you are starting to get strong. It's all a part of the game.
Prettywoman, I suggest you keep building a new life for you and your son. I think you are on the right track and there is no point in getting sucked back into the life you left behind.
I'm so glad to hear that your son is doing well. I bet he is just adorable.
Peace,
Gabe

prettywoman

I totally agree with everything said on here!

One girl asked how I find the time to come to the board, well I have my pc with me at the hospital and take breaks to come here and to talk to my family when I need one:-) Mystery solved!! haha.

I do appreciate the APOLOGY from him because I felt like he meant it, however, nothing has changed. I will not be sucked back in to the games and the drama. I am going to continue to walk forward, my life is good now. If he wants to walk forward with me and he can but under my boundaries.

Love and Hugs to you all!

Ann

prettywoman

I also agree with the "actions speak louder than words" answers. If he's ready he's ready, and if he's not?...well you don't have to participate.

I'm so happy baby is doing well. You must be so thrilled that you can hold him now. Give him a BIG HUG from Auntie Ann.

lyn_blossom78

Oooooooh! You got to hold him! That is so wonderful! I'll bet you were excited! I think having his mommy hold him will make him grow even faster. How precious! You will never forget that moment, I'll bet!

As for the ex......... As the others said, actions speak louder than words. And as you said, keep doing what you are doing. He is manipulative. And don't forget he had a plan earlier in your pregnancy to try and take the baby. (as if he could, short of commiting a crime!) Anyone that would think like that just isn't right--and you well know it! So, keep getting strong, and building a life for yourself. If/when, he detoxes, and spends a couple of years clean/sober, along with all the things it takes to be a good father--then you can consider............ something. So, you see, you have llllooooottttssss of time! The apology was nice, but it's easy to saaaay something. And you deserved it, but you also deserve so much more. Like, did he send you any money for support for his little one. I know he still thinks you are pregnant, but pregnant mothers have a lot of needs. I hope I'm not being too harsh--I know this is hard for you--but he hasn't been there for you through the tough stuff--and doesn't yet deserve to be with you for the easy stuff.

I am so glad W-A is growing and thriving! Can't wait until you can take him home!

Lots of hugs,
Lyn

prettywoman

What you said is 100% correct! I agree!

I am not sure what he is trying to do now but actions speak louder than words as far as I am concerned. There has been no actions on his part other than this phone message from him.

I am not going to guess what his intentions are because that would mean I have to actually think about what he thinks. I am not doing that anymore.

Thank you for your welcomed input! Love and Hugs!!

LettingGo

I agree with the others, Words whisper Actions Scream! He is such a typical addict and I dont know if they go to an addict's school of manipulation or what but it is the same song and dance so many have seen. I am glad you are thinking before reacting to it. You are growing!

Awesome about the baby. How precious. Those are the moments that count!

LG

myles1

hahahahahahaha addicts school of manipulation! I like that!

Ngaire

constant

to hold your little ones in your arms! What a precious moment. I was the one who was asking how ya have time to come to the boards...thanks for clearing that up!

I have to agree with everyone......action is louder than words...besides I thought that in there recovery that relationships were off limits for at least a year of them being clean and sober......doesn't sound like he is working a program.

Stay strong and keep posting about that little angel!
Constant

prettywoman

He is not working a program because he thinks there is nothing wrong with him.
According to him I am the one who messed upo the relationshio. I messed it up alright. How? I got up and left to live a healthy and lovng life.

Huggs n lots of love to all

Daffodil

How wonderful for you and your son.....

Something to think about;

LOVE AND I"M SORRY ARE BOTH ACTION WORDS....


Do enjoy every minute you have with your baby...

Love and prayers from one who cares.