Please hold me accountable
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 169
Please hold me accountable
I've gone to work the last two Saturdays, but today I want to stay home and get some work done in the yard. I am asking for your help. All you have to do is read this post and then think of me at least once during the day. I think this will help me if I know I'm being held accountable.
I don't want to engage in any drama today. My AP started drinking beer first thing this morning, about 8 am. Judging from past experience, she'll continue all day and probably clean the house. By about 2 pm she'll want to talk. She'll be crying and melodramatic, alternating with anger depending on how I react. And that's it: I do not want to react. I don't want to say anything about her drinking, I don't want to talk about our future, I really don't want to interact at all. But, if that's unavoidable, I just want to be bland. I want to enjoy my day in the yard.
Thank you, everyone. I love you all.
I don't want to engage in any drama today. My AP started drinking beer first thing this morning, about 8 am. Judging from past experience, she'll continue all day and probably clean the house. By about 2 pm she'll want to talk. She'll be crying and melodramatic, alternating with anger depending on how I react. And that's it: I do not want to react. I don't want to say anything about her drinking, I don't want to talk about our future, I really don't want to interact at all. But, if that's unavoidable, I just want to be bland. I want to enjoy my day in the yard.
Thank you, everyone. I love you all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
awww, (((Star)))...sending you big hugs and prayers. It's so hard NOT to react, but it is an amazing feeling once we've done it.
I hope you have a good day......despite what she does.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I hope you have a good day......despite what she does.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: At the top of my mountain.
Posts: 124
Enjoy your yardwork! 
I love yardwork--I find it really lets me get inside my head in a very peaceful, deep way. Gardening helps me do some of my best thinking and self-nurturing! Hope it does for you too today.
I love yardwork--I find it really lets me get inside my head in a very peaceful, deep way. Gardening helps me do some of my best thinking and self-nurturing! Hope it does for you too today.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
So, what did you get done in the yard today? It was hotter than heck in my neck of the woods, so I saved the yard mowing until tomorrow. Don't want another bout of a-fib this weekend. Wish I could just have the lawn ripped out and have astro turf installed. Either that or hire a hot looking, shirtless man with great pecks and abs to mow my lawn each weekend.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 369
I did yard work today too. My arms are killing me right now! What yard work did you do today? I pulled weeds and used the weed eater to cut grass along my house and fence. (My dad cut the grass. Since AH moved out, I've been paying someone. Then dear ol' dad offered to do it for me.)
I also moved furniture in and sold one of my chairs through craigslist. I'm headed to bed before my arms fall off!
So tell us how it went today. Stay strong!
I also moved furniture in and sold one of my chairs through craigslist. I'm headed to bed before my arms fall off!
So tell us how it went today. Stay strong!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 169
I just want to say a big ol' thank you to everyone. I had the best day!
About nine years ago I dug a huge hole in our side yard. About 16 feet long, by 5 feet wide, and 5.5 feet deep. It was big! I used the dirt from the hole to level out the entire yard and planted bushes, trees, flowers, all kinds of stuff. In the hole, I made a koi pond with pond liner and flagstone all around the edges. It took me all summer, but it was worth it. Many years of enjoyment and now the trees are huge and the bushes and flowers are so pretty.
About six months ago, when I was becoming more and more aware that we were likely going to have to sell our house, I made the decision to get rid of the koi pond. Two realtors told me that it was more of a liablility than an asset. So, over the course of the last couple of months, I've eliminated the pond. Found homes for the koi, pulled all the pond liner out, tore out the filtration system, and my AP's brother was really helpful as he just finished filling the pond with dirt we got free on craigslist. A shame, really, but it had to happen.
Today, I spent the entire day smoothing out the dirt, leveling off some of the pathways that were too steep, and trimming bushes that I couldn't reach when the pond was still there. It's going to look really pretty when I'm all done. It will be a nice, shady patio.
My AP continued to drink through the day, getting pretty slurry by about 5 pm, when she decided to take her brother and go to a street fair on the other side of town. I had to tell her at least six times which buses to take and where to transfer. Obviously, she still didn't get it because she called me half an hour later, at about the time she'd be at the transfer spot, and left voice mail saying she was confused but she'd have to figure it out without me. Yep! I left my cell phone in the house on purpose while I was still outside.
Now, I have a whole evening ahead to myself to read a book, make a nice big salad, and go to bed early. I'm pretty tired. And, all day long, even though some choice words came in my mind a few times, I thought of all you guys and stayed strong. Anytime anyone feels like they need extra strength for their day, I highly recommend posting a "please hold me accountable" note to this board. It really works! Thanks again.
About nine years ago I dug a huge hole in our side yard. About 16 feet long, by 5 feet wide, and 5.5 feet deep. It was big! I used the dirt from the hole to level out the entire yard and planted bushes, trees, flowers, all kinds of stuff. In the hole, I made a koi pond with pond liner and flagstone all around the edges. It took me all summer, but it was worth it. Many years of enjoyment and now the trees are huge and the bushes and flowers are so pretty.
About six months ago, when I was becoming more and more aware that we were likely going to have to sell our house, I made the decision to get rid of the koi pond. Two realtors told me that it was more of a liablility than an asset. So, over the course of the last couple of months, I've eliminated the pond. Found homes for the koi, pulled all the pond liner out, tore out the filtration system, and my AP's brother was really helpful as he just finished filling the pond with dirt we got free on craigslist. A shame, really, but it had to happen.
Today, I spent the entire day smoothing out the dirt, leveling off some of the pathways that were too steep, and trimming bushes that I couldn't reach when the pond was still there. It's going to look really pretty when I'm all done. It will be a nice, shady patio.
My AP continued to drink through the day, getting pretty slurry by about 5 pm, when she decided to take her brother and go to a street fair on the other side of town. I had to tell her at least six times which buses to take and where to transfer. Obviously, she still didn't get it because she called me half an hour later, at about the time she'd be at the transfer spot, and left voice mail saying she was confused but she'd have to figure it out without me. Yep! I left my cell phone in the house on purpose while I was still outside.
Now, I have a whole evening ahead to myself to read a book, make a nice big salad, and go to bed early. I'm pretty tired. And, all day long, even though some choice words came in my mind a few times, I thought of all you guys and stayed strong. Anytime anyone feels like they need extra strength for their day, I highly recommend posting a "please hold me accountable" note to this board. It really works! Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Star))) your yard (especially the koi pond) sounds wonderful!
Glad you had a good day, and didn't answer the cell phone Now, have a good night and pamper yourself..you deserve it!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Glad you had a good day, and didn't answer the cell phone
Now, have a good night and pamper yourself..you deserve it!Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Starflier-
This is such a great post. It's a perfect example of "one day at a time" Just for today you had a plan and you stuck to it. And it made a positive serene day possible for you! Thank you for this living example of recovery in action.
Peace,
B.
This is such a great post. It's a perfect example of "one day at a time" Just for today you had a plan and you stuck to it. And it made a positive serene day possible for you! Thank you for this living example of recovery in action.
Peace,
B.
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