I detached!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Motown
Posts: 122
I detached!!
Well, small victory for me last night. I run the cheerleading side of a community youth football team. Last night was uniform hand out. Complete insanity (think day after Thanksgiving shopping - at least that’s what it felt like!!)
Anyway, ah had a few drinks last night. He becomes very needy when alcohol is involved (esp the vodka he was nipping). So, here I am going crazy trying to fit all these uniforms with confused and excited girls (and parents). And my cell phone is ringing off the hook. I answered it the first time, politely said “going nuts here, can’t really talk”, etc.. And I ignored it (him) the rest of the time! Even the exasperated voice mail message he left, I didn’t let pi$$ me off!
I called him when I was done (of course, he didn’t answer). He called back, and cheery as ever, I apologized (out of consideration - not guilt) for not being able to talk, told him how it went and I’m on my way home. He was very quiet, but not rude, the rest of the evening. Whew!
Is this what this detachment thing is all about? I’m liking it!
So, I just wanted to share my little accomplishment! Thank you guys for the knowledge, strength and inspiration.
juju
Anyway, ah had a few drinks last night. He becomes very needy when alcohol is involved (esp the vodka he was nipping). So, here I am going crazy trying to fit all these uniforms with confused and excited girls (and parents). And my cell phone is ringing off the hook. I answered it the first time, politely said “going nuts here, can’t really talk”, etc.. And I ignored it (him) the rest of the time! Even the exasperated voice mail message he left, I didn’t let pi$$ me off!
I called him when I was done (of course, he didn’t answer). He called back, and cheery as ever, I apologized (out of consideration - not guilt) for not being able to talk, told him how it went and I’m on my way home. He was very quiet, but not rude, the rest of the evening. Whew!
Is this what this detachment thing is all about? I’m liking it!
So, I just wanted to share my little accomplishment! Thank you guys for the knowledge, strength and inspiration.
juju
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: St. Petersburg, Florida
Posts: 684
Good job JuJu!!!
I think that is a good example of detaching and taking care of yourself... not allowing his neediness to overwhelm and consume you is very healthy.
My AH will often feel pushed aside but as you had apologized that you were unable to meet his needs at that time is really all it should be. If he doesn't like it that is his business.
I think that is a good example of detaching and taking care of yourself... not allowing his neediness to overwhelm and consume you is very healthy.
My AH will often feel pushed aside but as you had apologized that you were unable to meet his needs at that time is really all it should be. If he doesn't like it that is his business.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Little changes add up.
Only you can determine what you will tolerate and how you will react.
Detachment and boundaries can eliminate the amount of stress we take on.
Good for you in figuring out what is best for yourself.
Only you can determine what you will tolerate and how you will react.
Detachment and boundaries can eliminate the amount of stress we take on.
Good for you in figuring out what is best for yourself.
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