Chasing Rainbows
 

I was watching Intervention last night and the interventionist (Candy) said something I have never heard an A say (she is a recovering A). She asked the A's wife if their relationship was really over because "He's the type that will sober up for six months just to get you back, you have to be sure it's over or this is not going to work". I found it refreshing that someone, anyone would actually admit that an A would and could do this, work a program, get sober just to selfishly achieve something then go right back out.

Many of us have lived through this scenario multiple times and it is crazymaking at it's best. I used to doubt myself and think I had to try my best to give the A every chance. I should have stopped looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and given myself all the time, money, effort and consideration I gave the A.

I wonder if my ex's kept track of how many times I abstained from alcohol and tobacco for a few weeks or months, until the anger and resentments blew over, and then thinking I had a green light I'd pick up again and the insanity would ensue. Dozens? Hundreds?

My second wife finally reached the point where she wasn't going to take any more chances. Divorcing and throwing me out was the only thing that would ensure her safety.

"Many of us have lived through this scenario multiple times and it is crazymaking at it's best. I used to doubt myself and think I had to try my best to give the A every chance. I should have stopped looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and given myself all the time, money, effort and consideration I gave the A."

Amen to that!