Is an intervention the answer?
 

I am a first time visitor to sober recovery and would appreciate any advice on my situation. My AH has been drinking heavily for 10 years. His drinking has put a tremendous strain on our marriage to the point where we separated for six months. My husband assured me that he would get help and I foolishly let him move back home before seeing any results. He saw a therapist that specializes in alcoholism for a few months and when the therapist suggested rehab my husband bailed.

During our separation, my mother-in-law wanted to know why I asked my husband to leave our house. When I told her she said in disbelief "Are you sure he's an alcoholic?" I explained that my husband said he drinks between 10-12 beers daily and I'm pretty sure that qualifies as being alcoholic! She said she doesn't believe he drinks that much. I was livid when she said she didn't believe it! I had to really bite my tongue not to say anything I would regret.

We recently applied for an increase in our life insurance and my husband was denied coverage based on elevated liver function tests, which led him to go and see his doctor. His doctor told him point blank that he must stop drinking alcohol. He stated that if he didn't stop drinking that in 5 years there would be no turning back and he will die a very painful dealth from liver disease. Long story short...he had a battery of tests and has been diagnosed with sarcoidosis. We see a pulmonary specialist tomorrow!

My in-laws have recently accepted the fact that their son is an alcoholic and have offered to assist me with an intervention. I feel that an intervention could work especially if his parents participate. Has anyone reading this had any experience with an intervention?

Being separated from his wife and children for six months did not motivate my husband to seek recovery nor has his recent health scare. Is it worth the time, effort, and expense of hiring a professional to try an intervention?

Just like any program for the Alcoholic, in my 27+ years of sobriety, the only time I have seen or read of an intervention working is when the Alcoholic has reached his/her bottom and wants sobriety more than King Alcohol.

If he's not ready, no I do not believe Intervention will work. Just remember, if you do an intervention, and he agrees to go to rehab it is still no guarantee that he will remain sober. He has to WANT sobriety more than he wants to drink.

J M H O

Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing, we really do care very much. Have you checked out Alanon for YOU? It can be a great help in deciding what kind of life YOU want for YOU. Alanon is also very helpful in teaching us how to figure out our own personal Boundaries, and of course there is The 3 C's:

I didn't CAUSE it,

I can't CONTROL it, and

I can't CURE it.

Love and hugs,

I have seen interventions work. You are trying to "create" their bottom for them by drawing out and expediting the consequences of their drinking. If you do this by all means hire a professional. There must be consequences for this to work - ie lose you wife, your job, your relationship with your family (mom & dad too) etc.

If mom & dad are going to cave and let him live and drink with them, that is probably what he will do. Even then an intervention may be OK, if for no other reason than to get him out of your house.

Tough call but I see no downside. I'd at least try.

I think it's worth a try - and of course you need to make clear consequences of no rehab and you need to follow through on those consequences, are you trying al-anon by the way, I'm starting it this week I think it's essential and the men and women there really seem to be coping well with the A's in their lives and more importantlhy their own lives...

Cathy31
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Thanks for replying to my post. I did try Alanon several years ago...perhaps it's time to give it another shot.

Good idea! Let us know how you get on! :)

Cathy31
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