Hope for Today-July 17
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Hope for Today-July 17
Hope for Today in Al-Anon - July 17 (pg 199)
The first limit I learned to set in recovery was in response to sarcasm. Someone had initiated a discussion with me regarding a conflict. Though I was attempting in good faith to arrive at an agreeable solution, I was met repeatedly with sarcasm. After a time I said that if the sarcasm persisted, I would not participate any further until the other party was willing to carry on the discussion in a respectful and productive manner. When the disagreeable behavior continued, I got up from the table and went about my business. After a few such occasions, sarcasm became rare in my discussions with this particular person. After an initially angry response, I gained respect from the other person when I matched my intentions with my actions. However, the most important result was the respect I gained for myself.
Being clear about what is acceptable to me is a tool I use to take care of myself. It falls under the category of changing the things I can, as stated in the Serenity Prayer. To set reasonable and effective boundaries, it's important that I discern the difference between my responsibilities and someone else's. The Serenity Prayer can help me with this, too. Then I can make choices about what action I will or will not take. I am free to take care of myself in any way I deem necessary, whether or not anyone else likes my choices.
Thought for the Day
I take care of myself today by setting reasonable boundaries with those around me.
"You cannot set boundaries and take care of someone else's feelings at the same time." The Forum, September 2000, p 28
The first limit I learned to set in recovery was in response to sarcasm. Someone had initiated a discussion with me regarding a conflict. Though I was attempting in good faith to arrive at an agreeable solution, I was met repeatedly with sarcasm. After a time I said that if the sarcasm persisted, I would not participate any further until the other party was willing to carry on the discussion in a respectful and productive manner. When the disagreeable behavior continued, I got up from the table and went about my business. After a few such occasions, sarcasm became rare in my discussions with this particular person. After an initially angry response, I gained respect from the other person when I matched my intentions with my actions. However, the most important result was the respect I gained for myself.
Being clear about what is acceptable to me is a tool I use to take care of myself. It falls under the category of changing the things I can, as stated in the Serenity Prayer. To set reasonable and effective boundaries, it's important that I discern the difference between my responsibilities and someone else's. The Serenity Prayer can help me with this, too. Then I can make choices about what action I will or will not take. I am free to take care of myself in any way I deem necessary, whether or not anyone else likes my choices.
Thought for the Day
I take care of myself today by setting reasonable boundaries with those around me.
"You cannot set boundaries and take care of someone else's feelings at the same time." The Forum, September 2000, p 28
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
