Lilyflower

I think this is when recovery gets really meaningful, when we begin to see the patterns of dysfunction/abuse/neglect whatever you may call it, ripple through the generations of our families.

I had to look hard to see why I was drawn to alcoholics and other addicted people because these problems were so secret in our family, no one discusses dysfunction, or even knows the terms we use freely here like 'codie', no one attends AA, or Al-anon, all problems are brushed under the carpet and ignored.

I now know that my great grandparents were all alcoholics, that my paternal grandfather and my maternal grandmother are alcoholics, many of my uncles are pot, cocaine and heroin users, and the rest of us are suffering in the wake with many ACoAs, codependants, obsessive compulsives etc.

With all these people around me, teaching me unhealthy behaviours through their own, it was more than likely I was to end up here at SR or another forum like it, and I was very lucky not to have fallen into abusing chemicals myself, as at one time I began to experiment with drugs as an attempt to numb my inner pain.

I say the affects of addiction are like rings in the water, gradually spreading outward from the core rippling into all the lives around. my great grandparents had no idea how there lives were to effect mine nearly 100 years later! I know though that it will at least end with me, I am making changes that will ensure those ripples are disturbed, I am not only doing this for me, but like you Para, Lateeda and Cynay said, I want to stop the cycle for my daughter, her children and all those yet to come along.

Gosh I love recovery!

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Barbara52

Yup, the patterns of my behaviors and choices are traceable to growing up in a dysfunctional alcoholic household. Now I can see at least some of the whys behind it all and can stop the behaviors. Its hard work but worth it.