Courage to Change~ July 11~ Anger
 

It seems to me that many of us deal with our anger in inappropriate ways. Denying it, we stuff it, or we go off in fury, directing the feelings outward. I, for one, opt for avoidance of any conflict, and then I turn into a doormat.

The Al-Anon program encourages me to acknowledge my feelings and to be responsible for how I express them. The problem is not that I get angry, but that I do not know how to direct my anger appropriately.

Lately, when I feel like hitting somebody, I take my pillow and beat the daylights out of my bed. When I want to wipe someone out, I attack my dirty oven. I try to release my anger as soon as I can so that I won’t build resentments that will be harder to get rid of later.

I’m learning to communicate my anger too. I may not do it gracefully, and my words may not be well received. It means facing the awful discomfort called conflict, but I can’t run away any more.

Today’s Reminder

Feeling our feelings is one important part of the recovery process. Learning how to balance feelings with appropriate action is another.

“When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.”

Thomas Jefferson

I am sitting here at my computer with a cup of coffee feeling angry and resentful. Ths morning I realized that I have been carrying some resentments recently. They show up as headaches, sluggishness, major crabbiness. Recovery has taught me that when I feel like that? It's probably NOT about them ~ it's about ME. (doggone it)

I'll talk things over with a recovery friend, I'll journal some about what I'm feeling. And then I am going to tackle some long overdue house work (inside if it rains) and yardwork (outside if it's sunny). I'll be able to expend some of that negative energy and get a positive result.

Catspj's
Beautiful.

I am learning to channel my emotions in healthier ways. It feels good. But I'm also finding that I don't get angry very often anymore. I don't get that "hurt" feeling anymore. But I'm not stuffing those feelings. I've (finally) realized that when I get angry because someone else did something or is angry, I'm taking that "anger" off of their shoulders and carrying it around on mine. Thus, they feel better......and I feel.....well.....angry and crappy.

If someone else has a bug up their behind, why on earth should I take that bug out for them and put it in mine? (I apologize for the gross mental image but that's what helped me to stop doing it.) Personally, I now prefer to leave their bug right where it is.

It feels better.