My codie personality kicking in
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 110
My codie personality kicking in
My RAH is having a bad day today. I just went through this last night in my Al-Anon meeting on how we needed to concentrate on ourselves and our own recovery.
I just see him struggling with the day to day operations of running his business (which I used to do while he was active, with no sympathy from him) and know that it's a day to day struggle to stay sober for him, but made NO moves to help him to make his decisions.
I suggested that he make contact with his sponsor, his response was "he'll just ask if I have finished my 4th step". I asked if that's the only time he can contact him and he said no.
I don't feel as though I was wrong in making that decission, my codie wants to make everything ok for him, but I know that I can't. I am doing my best to make the suggestion of seeing his sponsor and moving on.
Tonight, we are planning dinner out with friends and then I think I will go home, work really hard on laundry, and cleaning so that my codie personality doesn't step in and try to "fix him".
Thanks for everyones support. I can relate to so many stories.:ghug3
I just see him struggling with the day to day operations of running his business (which I used to do while he was active, with no sympathy from him) and know that it's a day to day struggle to stay sober for him, but made NO moves to help him to make his decisions.
I suggested that he make contact with his sponsor, his response was "he'll just ask if I have finished my 4th step". I asked if that's the only time he can contact him and he said no.
I don't feel as though I was wrong in making that decission, my codie wants to make everything ok for him, but I know that I can't. I am doing my best to make the suggestion of seeing his sponsor and moving on.
Tonight, we are planning dinner out with friends and then I think I will go home, work really hard on laundry, and cleaning so that my codie personality doesn't step in and try to "fix him".
Thanks for everyones support. I can relate to so many stories.:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
It is really hard not jump in and make it all better. Why? Because we can! And we're good at it!
I struggle with this too cem. There is no doubt in my mind that changing my codie behaviors is as difficult for me as it is for my RA son to not drink. And we feed off of each other. It's like a vicious circle.
It sounds like you are doing great! You may have little "relapses".....or at least I did. But I can quickly recognize them now and stop myself. It takes constant work.
hugs
I struggle with this too cem. There is no doubt in my mind that changing my codie behaviors is as difficult for me as it is for my RA son to not drink. And we feed off of each other. It's like a vicious circle.
It sounds like you are doing great! You may have little "relapses".....or at least I did. But I can quickly recognize them now and stop myself. It takes constant work.
hugs
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