Alcoholic women
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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Alcoholic women
Just curious about alcoholic behaviors. If there are any A women out there that are in recovery, could they relate about mood swings? My AW has crazy mood swings, and she can be terrible and abusive one minute for no reason at all, and then poof... nothing. Or she does things that are deliberately destructive to the relationship and not know why...
Just Curious
Red
Just Curious
Red
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi...
I am a recovered alcoholic in AA.
I do know by daily using God
and the 12 Steps of AA....I keep in emotional balance.
You did not mention how long your
partner has been in recovery.
If she is newly sober....
you might find this intersting
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Not all loves are forever
The man I was
involved with when drinking is not
who I wanted to be with sober.
Perhaps that is what is also going on.
Blessings to the two of you
I am a recovered alcoholic in AA.
I do know by daily using God
and the 12 Steps of AA....I keep in emotional balance.
You did not mention how long your
partner has been in recovery.
If she is newly sober....
you might find this intersting
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Not all loves are forever
The man I was
involved with when drinking is not
who I wanted to be with sober.
Perhaps that is what is also going on.
Blessings to the two of you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Great Lake Country
Posts: 333
Not in recovery. She's a practicing alcoholic. What I just wanted to know is when in the grips of alcohol, how does that massive rage comes on. I want to avoid that, cause mine doesn't respect boundaries or civility when it comes on her.
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 172
Originally Posted by Reddmax 
Not in recovery. She's a practicing alcoholic. What I just wanted to know is when in the grips of alcohol, how does that massive rage comes on. I want to avoid that, cause mine doesn't respect boundaries or civility when it comes on her.
remember that you have a choice - you don't have to be abused. no one deserves that no matter how much you love her. you deserve love back.
A lot of time alcohlics just become naturally nasty "everything hating" people. you know the old saying misery loves company.
I wish you a peaceful night.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Whether rage comes along is highly variable I think. It can have to do with underlying personality, possible mental illness, past history, all sorts of things. Mood swings could be a sign of underlying bipolar disease and the alcohol could be a sign of self medication. Or she could jusr be a real beotch.
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 172
Originally Posted by Barbara52
Whether rage comes along is highly variable I think. It can have to do with underlying personality, possible mental illness, past history, all sorts of things. Mood swings could be a sign of underlying bipolar disease and the alcohol could be a sign of self medication. Or she could jusr be a real beotch.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Originally Posted by Reddmax
Thanks.... I myself think she's bi-polar. She's just horrific at times... sober or drunk
Whatever the reason, it is not something you can control and not something she seems terribly interested in doing anything about. She could have a tiny little alien in her head like in Men in Black, doing all the bad stuff, and it wouldn't matter one bit: Your life is still miserable. I've noticed on this board that speculation as to the cause is often our way of postponing the inevitable necessity of setting (and keeping) boundaries, i.e. "It's not her fault; she's just bi-polar/was abused as a child/has terrible self-esteem/has a little alien in her head"
Wishing you the strength and the wisdom to do what's right for YOU.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Great Lake Country
Posts: 333
Well, I'm trying to keep my spirits up. What I'm doing right now is whining about how unfair life is. I know its silly, but these posts are making me feel better. I'd like to thank everyone that responded...
You ladies and gentlemen are great.
You ladies and gentlemen are great.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
Reddmax,
It takes two to argue. You don't have to accept her invitation to fight. If she follows you while screaming, go outside. If she follows you outside, go back inside and lock the door.
I grew up with a stepmother who raged!! My dad did very little about it, except cower. He didn't stop her. She'd be slamming doors, cabinets, throwing things around, screaming, ranting, cursing, etc. And he hid. Well, except for a few times when he had enough and mustered the nerve to stand up to her. And I'm not saying that you should engage her when she's raging and drinking. But if she's being abusive, you certainly have the right to protect yourself. My AH gets himself wound up on occasion. I don't know where I get the words, but when I've had enough, he shuts up. Don't take it.
It takes two to argue. You don't have to accept her invitation to fight. If she follows you while screaming, go outside. If she follows you outside, go back inside and lock the door.
I grew up with a stepmother who raged!! My dad did very little about it, except cower. He didn't stop her. She'd be slamming doors, cabinets, throwing things around, screaming, ranting, cursing, etc. And he hid. Well, except for a few times when he had enough and mustered the nerve to stand up to her. And I'm not saying that you should engage her when she's raging and drinking. But if she's being abusive, you certainly have the right to protect yourself. My AH gets himself wound up on occasion. I don't know where I get the words, but when I've had enough, he shuts up. Don't take it.
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Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Red
Personally, I could have some pretty severe mood swings due to the monthly hormonal fluctuations. I am not an alcoholic but just those mood swings without adding alcohol could be pretty ugly. Normally, I'm a really nice person but around "that time"......I was just weird. Thank goodness for menopause!
Add alcohol to hormones and that's one very volitile mixture. There are lots of tools to use to deal with your AW. Avoidance and detachment are two that come to mind. Remember the old saying "lead, following or get out of the way"? With a raging drunk, get out of the way.
gentle hugs
Personally, I could have some pretty severe mood swings due to the monthly hormonal fluctuations. I am not an alcoholic but just those mood swings without adding alcohol could be pretty ugly. Normally, I'm a really nice person but around "that time"......I was just weird. Thank goodness for menopause!
Add alcohol to hormones and that's one very volitile mixture. There are lots of tools to use to deal with your AW. Avoidance and detachment are two that come to mind. Remember the old saying "lead, following or get out of the way"? With a raging drunk, get out of the way.
gentle hugs
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