lovtolaff

Just wanted to let everyone know that xabf is still out of the house and came and got the rest of his stuff on Saturday. I made it a point to not be there so no words were exchanged.

He had sent a text last week asking if there was anyway to fix this and I immediately replied back NO. This has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life...walking away from someone that I love to preserve my own sanity.

I find myself wondering WHY isn't he contacting me when in reality I know that it is a blessing in disguise. I don't like thinking this way because it really is best for me if he doesn't try to call me or text me anymore. I've told everyone that knows the both of us to NOT tell me anything about him because he is not my problem any longer. So far, everyone has complied with that request.

I have good days and bad days and I'm hoping the good days will come more often. I'm sad and my heart is crushed.

Ayers1995

LTL - You are doing good. It is very hard to walk away from someone we love for our own good. I dont' know your story, but I went through hell making the decision to leave my husband of 12 years (together 16). Your heart is crushed..I'm sorry. It will get better. Alot of us here at SR are living proof of that.

Having no contact, really is the best way for you to keep your focus and move forward. You should be proud of yourself. Hugs.

Barbara52

{hugs} You will get past the pain in time. I'd be willing to bet you are already greatful for the lack of drama in your life.

lovtolaff

Yes I am grateful for the lack of drama but boy I'll admit...I'm somewhat lost at this point. It's like being put down on the ground out of a tornado.

Another sad thing is I'm nervous at my OWN house. I'm afraid of him stopping by and causing a scene. Maybe he'll prove me wrong and maybe he was as much "done" as I was...I don't really know. Near the end we couldn't have a civil conversation without it ending up yelling and screaming at each other. However, he wanted things "his" way which was having a loving, stable, non-crazy, responsible girlfriend - and still be able to go out and party like an idiot. I can't do it anymore. I guess the bad finally outweighed the good in my head and now I'm just waiting on it to get to my heart.

strongerwoman

Oh, me too, it is heart wrenching.
Thanks for sharing, it helps to know others are feeling the same as me, though it'd be nice if the feelings were good ones instead of heartache!

Hugs to you!

starflier

However, he wanted things "his" way which was having a loving, stable, non-crazy, responsible girlfriend - and still be able to go out and party like an idiot.

Oh, my, that's exactly what I'm living with!