Divorce final - another milestone
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Back South where I belong!
Posts: 210
Divorce final - another milestone
I haven't posted in awhile but need to write tonight. Here's my story. My husband has been binge drinking for a few years, drinking and driving a lot, passing out in the shed, hiding bottles. We were hurricane victims and moved to be closer to his family after the storm with the thought in my brain that it might help him quit drinking to be closer to home. Didn't work, of course, and he had multiple incidents of negative consequences as a result. He did an outpatient rehab and was ok for awhile but...then he had a brain aneurysm and the dr. told him he had to quit drinking but...he couldn't stay sober for more than a couple of months, and in the meantime, he would amass great quantities of skanky porn and hide them in the basement. Lovely.
We separated in December and he was supposedly clean and sober, wanting to get back together and do marriage counseling, when he ran head-on into a van carrying a family of four on his way home from work. There were open bottles in the truck, and the newspaper carried a picture of the wrecked vehicles, and there were the bottles on the seat of the truck in the newspaper. Of course he was drunk. Everyone was injured but thank God no one was killed. My xah is facing multiple felony charges and may do jail time.
I immediately filed for divorce and put the house on the market. This was in March. I started looking for a job back home and found one - and moved back to the hurricane zone in May. Our old house sold and we closed on it last week (I didn't go back up for that) and the divorce papers came in the mail today. It's over. Finally.
I'm feeling pretty beat up, but am trying to keep my eye on the bigger picture - that I'm back with family and friends and far away from that insanity. I'd rather evacuate for a hurricane six times than go through one more of those horrible Midwest winters. And it's great to not worry about what crazy thing I might find in the laundry basket, under the towels, etc. - you all know what I mean.
So with apologies for going on and on, I just wanted to put an exclamation mark at the end of this whole experience. I am pretty sure I'll be dealing with feelings for a long time but at least I took this thing into my own hands and did what I had to do to take care of myself. What a dreadful experience. Here's to happier tomorrows for us all! RosieM
We separated in December and he was supposedly clean and sober, wanting to get back together and do marriage counseling, when he ran head-on into a van carrying a family of four on his way home from work. There were open bottles in the truck, and the newspaper carried a picture of the wrecked vehicles, and there were the bottles on the seat of the truck in the newspaper. Of course he was drunk. Everyone was injured but thank God no one was killed. My xah is facing multiple felony charges and may do jail time.
I immediately filed for divorce and put the house on the market. This was in March. I started looking for a job back home and found one - and moved back to the hurricane zone in May. Our old house sold and we closed on it last week (I didn't go back up for that) and the divorce papers came in the mail today. It's over. Finally.
I'm feeling pretty beat up, but am trying to keep my eye on the bigger picture - that I'm back with family and friends and far away from that insanity. I'd rather evacuate for a hurricane six times than go through one more of those horrible Midwest winters. And it's great to not worry about what crazy thing I might find in the laundry basket, under the towels, etc. - you all know what I mean.
So with apologies for going on and on, I just wanted to put an exclamation mark at the end of this whole experience. I am pretty sure I'll be dealing with feelings for a long time but at least I took this thing into my own hands and did what I had to do to take care of myself. What a dreadful experience. Here's to happier tomorrows for us all! RosieM
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Oh, Rosie, you are right. What a dreadful experience (including the ahem, midwest winters that I endure every year-lol!) you had, and how great you did in separating yourself from his downward spiral. It's lovely that you have a family to return to and a sense of belonging back in the South. I'm so happy for you !! 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Originally Posted by RosieM 
I am pretty sure I'll be dealing with feelings for a long time but at least I took this thing into my own hands and did what I had to do to take care of myself. What a dreadful experience. Here's to happier tomorrows for us all! RosieM
Congrats on moving toward many happier tomorrows!
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Oh Rosie Rosie!!
(((((((hugs)))))))
Here's wishing you a bluer sky!
Right now you feel beat up but I hope soon you should feel very proud of yourself! You've made a huge change and got back "south where you belong!" and all of that takes enormous strength and courage!
:praying Prayers for your continued strength and peace of mind!
Peace,
B.
(((((((hugs)))))))
Here's wishing you a bluer sky!
Right now you feel beat up but I hope soon you should feel very proud of yourself! You've made a huge change and got back "south where you belong!" and all of that takes enormous strength and courage!
:praying Prayers for your continued strength and peace of mind!
Peace,
B.
8
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 63
Congratulations !
I can totally understand if that head on crash involving other people was a last straw.
With a head on, it's amazing no one was killed.
Did your AH fall asleep at the wheel ?
Did he apologize to the family that was in the other vehicle ?
One of MADD's statistics show that 90% of drunk driving offenders do NOT apologize to the victims and/or their families.
That ought to show how many beligerent as*hole drunks there are out there.
I can totally understand if that head on crash involving other people was a last straw.
With a head on, it's amazing no one was killed.
Did your AH fall asleep at the wheel ?
Did he apologize to the family that was in the other vehicle ?
One of MADD's statistics show that 90% of drunk driving offenders do NOT apologize to the victims and/or their families.
That ought to show how many beligerent as*hole drunks there are out there.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Back South where I belong!
Posts: 210
Y'all are great. Thanks for replying.
Ruby, xah does "not remember" anything that happened in the wreck. He did tell his atty to relay his apologies to the family.
Peace all around - and hugs to you all! R.
Ruby, xah does "not remember" anything that happened in the wreck. He did tell his atty to relay his apologies to the family.
Peace all around - and hugs to you all! R.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Rosie
I was listening to the radio the other day and this song came on. It made me smile. I'm dedicating this song to you today.
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin?for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
Look all around, there’s nothin?but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin?but blue skies
gentle hugs to you for all that you have been through and SURVIVED!
I was listening to the radio the other day and this song came on. It made me smile. I'm dedicating this song to you today.
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin?for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
Look all around, there’s nothin?but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin?but blue skies
gentle hugs to you for all that you have been through and SURVIVED!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 38
Congrats and best wishes! And if another storm comes, just think how much easier it will be to evacuate without an A. in tow!! It was while evacuating from Katrina that I realized what it meant to not have a spouse you can count on when the crap really hits the fan.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
Hey Rosie.....good job. Now you can breathe easy. The tears will still come but they won't be the same kind. Don't forget what you have gone through and where you came from...it will carry you for a long while.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The beautiful Midwest
Posts: 202
Ruby, congratulations to you and keep your chin up.
So happy to hear that you are back with family and loved ones.
Good luck to you and pease keep in touch. You have been an inspiration to many of us!
hugs and prayers
So happy to hear that you are back with family and loved ones.
Good luck to you and pease keep in touch. You have been an inspiration to many of us!
hugs and prayers
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Back South where I belong!
Posts: 210
You all are great. Thank you for your comments and encouragement. I do feel better. It was a little weird last Friday but over the past couple of days I have felt a change in myself. It's different. It still makes me sad but it seems farther away - sort of like when you get the laughing gas in the dentist's office!!
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