sel-supporting-chaos
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Join Date: Nov 2007
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sel-supporting-chaos
I was sent this reading. Any thoughts?
I often use visualizations in my meditation to picture what is really going on in my head regarding my recovery. Early on I pictured myself as a child riding a sled down a steep, snow-covered hill. At the bottom of the hill was the dreaded barbed-wire fence. All I could think about early in my recovery program was why was there a fence there and just who the heck was it that pushed my sled onto the slope. As I attended my first 6 months of meetings I began to discover that I had some choices. I could ride things out or, should I get too close to the fence without someone rescuing me, I could roll off the sled.
A friend in in recovery once told me how he visualized his recovery as constantly staying in the eye of a hurricane - everything around him in turmoil, but by Staying in the "Eye" ["I" ???!] he could live in serenity.
Then there is the question, "What do you do with a whirling dervish?" Answer, "You let them whirl."
This all ties in with being self-supporting for me today as I think about all the Al-Anon's at meetings who are in various stages of their miseries. There is little we can do for those causing chaos [Powerless.Step1] One thing we can certainly do is not participate [Detach with or without love.] Another is to set reasonable limits on what we will accept from those intent on hurting us [Boundaries.] We can pay attention to how we interact and contribute to ongoing crises [Focus on Ourselves.] We can seek solutions from sources we may have neglected from which so many have found guidance [Turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d as we understand him/Step3.] We can do our best to live honest, moral, and loving lives no matter the choices of other people in our lives [Steps4-12.] We can attend meetings for Recovery, work toward the meetings' Unity and health, and do Service work for our program [the Three Legacies.]
I think it may come down to which self I want to self-support: ~ The self I was when I arrived at Al-Anon's doors who wanted solutions based on changes in other people? ~ The self I have become which requires me to live a life that is compatible with serenity?
By mentally attending to the day-to-day antics of raving alcoholics I am willfully giving away serenity in favor of the [preferred?] chaos. The question then becomes one of what I really want to do now. Do I want to commit my life to changing so that I will no longer seek out the stimulation [and sympathy] chaos brings me, or do I want to continue on the path which assures increasing chaos, pain and insanity?
Choosing the latter is choosing our disease. Choosing the former is the ultimate in being self-supporting. One of my problems used to be that I didn't know I had this choice.
Answer: We Have Choices!!!
I often use visualizations in my meditation to picture what is really going on in my head regarding my recovery. Early on I pictured myself as a child riding a sled down a steep, snow-covered hill. At the bottom of the hill was the dreaded barbed-wire fence. All I could think about early in my recovery program was why was there a fence there and just who the heck was it that pushed my sled onto the slope. As I attended my first 6 months of meetings I began to discover that I had some choices. I could ride things out or, should I get too close to the fence without someone rescuing me, I could roll off the sled.
A friend in in recovery once told me how he visualized his recovery as constantly staying in the eye of a hurricane - everything around him in turmoil, but by Staying in the "Eye" ["I" ???!] he could live in serenity.
Then there is the question, "What do you do with a whirling dervish?" Answer, "You let them whirl."
This all ties in with being self-supporting for me today as I think about all the Al-Anon's at meetings who are in various stages of their miseries. There is little we can do for those causing chaos [Powerless.Step1] One thing we can certainly do is not participate [Detach with or without love.] Another is to set reasonable limits on what we will accept from those intent on hurting us [Boundaries.] We can pay attention to how we interact and contribute to ongoing crises [Focus on Ourselves.] We can seek solutions from sources we may have neglected from which so many have found guidance [Turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d as we understand him/Step3.] We can do our best to live honest, moral, and loving lives no matter the choices of other people in our lives [Steps4-12.] We can attend meetings for Recovery, work toward the meetings' Unity and health, and do Service work for our program [the Three Legacies.]
I think it may come down to which self I want to self-support: ~ The self I was when I arrived at Al-Anon's doors who wanted solutions based on changes in other people? ~ The self I have become which requires me to live a life that is compatible with serenity?
By mentally attending to the day-to-day antics of raving alcoholics I am willfully giving away serenity in favor of the [preferred?] chaos. The question then becomes one of what I really want to do now. Do I want to commit my life to changing so that I will no longer seek out the stimulation [and sympathy] chaos brings me, or do I want to continue on the path which assures increasing chaos, pain and insanity?
Choosing the latter is choosing our disease. Choosing the former is the ultimate in being self-supporting. One of my problems used to be that I didn't know I had this choice.
Answer: We Have Choices!!!
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: wisconsin
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My thought is I everytime I read this, written in some new way but always the same about our choices, it gives me inspiration to keep moving thru this tuff process. Thats what I come here for, an inspiring word, a shoulder to cry on and hope for my future. And sharing with others who understand and strive to understand. Love it.
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