I knew it was coming. Someone send me some strength!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 211
Strongerwoman, I get it too. My therapist says living with addicts makes us crazy--makes us doubt ourselves--and you are in the throes of the crazy-making.
In the end, going through your AH's things only hurts you. Unless, that is, is helps you to dismiss his sweet-talk and refocus on yourself and your needs.
No one who has lived with an A has always put the needs of their child(ren) first. It's an insidious process that leads us to leave or seek help, and you seem to me to be getting stronger.
Ignore the quacking, keep on with your journey. You deserve much, much more.
((((hugs))))
In the end, going through your AH's things only hurts you. Unless, that is, is helps you to dismiss his sweet-talk and refocus on yourself and your needs.
No one who has lived with an A has always put the needs of their child(ren) first. It's an insidious process that leads us to leave or seek help, and you seem to me to be getting stronger.
Ignore the quacking, keep on with your journey. You deserve much, much more.
((((hugs))))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 369
My recovery has been the success it is because of people here showing me the error of my thinking. It has been hard to read some posts because they have hit me square in the face and forced me to be honest with myself and my actions. :ghug
I don't think any of us will get healthier if repies to our posts do not help point out things we may not see for ourselves. I personally wouldn't want to read a reply to one of my posts that only offered me a ''aaaaahhhhh, nevermind'' type response.
To me this site and the wisdom on it is sometimes like sitting in on group therapy sessions! I learn so much about myself reading all these great replies, as strong as they may feel, I know they touch me because of the issues within me. I need the honest blunt truth and welcome it, it prevents me from telling myself falsities that allow me to continue indulging in unhealthy negative behaviour.
I don't think any of us will get healthier if repies to our posts do not help point out things we may not see for ourselves. I personally wouldn't want to read a reply to one of my posts that only offered me a ''aaaaahhhhh, nevermind'' type response.
To me this site and the wisdom on it is sometimes like sitting in on group therapy sessions! I learn so much about myself reading all these great replies, as strong as they may feel, I know they touch me because of the issues within me. I need the honest blunt truth and welcome it, it prevents me from telling myself falsities that allow me to continue indulging in unhealthy negative behaviour.
Stronger: How are you doing today? I didn't mean to hijack your post. Guess I really identify with your post and some of the comments hit me like a hammer rather than as the "help" that they actually are. Thinking of you.
My thoughts exactly. I too have felt ''affected'' by reading other peoples posts when the thread was not mine to begin with! We see ourselves in others, we all share so many issues.
Codependancy is to me basically an error in the way we think and process our thoughts and emotions that lead us to act out in ways that cause pain to ourselves, and we fail to realise why we hurt and where the hurt comes from.
We have learnt these 'wrong' ways of behaving and acting as we have grown. Whether that be because of dysfunctional backgrounds, alcoholic/addicted parents, codependant parents, differs with each person.
I feel that in order for us to grow out of codependancy, someone needs to point out to us where our thoughts, actions etc are letting us down, where the pain we feel is originating from and how we can learn new and healthy ways.
I wanted to share this with Strongerwoman because, I wouldn't like to see her not come back to the site. It is hard not to take it personally, but it is so important to realise that the advice or points made to us here are given in order for us to see the coin from the other side, and not to badger or harm us further.
I hope you are feeling stronger today, Strongerwoman. Please keep us in the loop on how you are doing. We do really want to help and guide you through this! :ghug3
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Codependancy is to me basically an error in the way we think and process our thoughts and emotions that lead us to act out in ways that cause pain to ourselves, and we fail to realise why we hurt and where the hurt comes from.
We have learnt these 'wrong' ways of behaving and acting as we have grown. Whether that be because of dysfunctional backgrounds, alcoholic/addicted parents, codependant parents, differs with each person.
I feel that in order for us to grow out of codependancy, someone needs to point out to us where our thoughts, actions etc are letting us down, where the pain we feel is originating from and how we can learn new and healthy ways.
I wanted to share this with Strongerwoman because, I wouldn't like to see her not come back to the site. It is hard not to take it personally, but it is so important to realise that the advice or points made to us here are given in order for us to see the coin from the other side, and not to badger or harm us further.
I hope you are feeling stronger today, Strongerwoman. Please keep us in the loop on how you are doing. We do really want to help and guide you through this! :ghug3
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Can't make sense out of crazy.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the Bluegrass, Baby!
Posts: 211
Hey everyone. Sorry to disappear, took some time to think a lot, plus my 16yo daughter left to go out of the country on a missions trip and we were busy with all of that - lot's to do in the week leading up to her leaving.
Anyhow. Just wanted to pop back into this thread and say thanks for the support, I really appreciate it all. I feel so utterly alone, its so nice to come here and be able to hash things out/vent.
Anyhow. Just wanted to pop back into this thread and say thanks for the support, I really appreciate it all. I feel so utterly alone, its so nice to come here and be able to hash things out/vent.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
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