Fisher

Hi,

Umm, well I don't really know where to begin. I'm not the addict actually, my mother is. She went through detox a little over a month ago and began a rather intense program. When that proved too much, (People there were court ordered, she was there on her own free will....they were a little tough for her) she ended up going to a sober house. I brought her last week....helped her move in. She was all excited about finding a job. I called her the other day and she was out, enjoying her freedom from her previous program, with the guy who turned her onto cocaine. My heart sank.....anyway....now tonight I found out she left the house all together. She told the director that she slipped and therefore cannot stay any longer. We don't know where she is or who she's with.

I know there's not much I can do....just wanted to talk to people who might understand.

Thanks for reading.

Fisher

Ann

Hi Fisher and welcome.

Sadly, we can do nothing to change the addict. Only they can do that when they are ready. My son is an addict, recently back in recovery, and I know the only thing I can do for him is to let him know that I love him and pray.

If you haven't already been to a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting, you may want to go. There are others there who can also give you the support and encouragement you need to get through this and to learn how to live a happy life, regardless of how the addict in your life is doing.

Take a read around the boards, read the "powerposts" at the top of th Al-Anon and Nar-Anon boards, and just make yourself at home. If you haven't read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, I suggest you get a copy. It is very much all about us.

There will be other wonderful people along to welcome you also and I hope you feel the warmth, love and encouragement this terrific group has to offer. Help yourself to the coffee, put your feet up and just get comfy. We're glad you came to join us.

Fisher

There's an alanon meeting in an hour. I might just go. I guess I'm just a little nervous cause I have no idea what to expect. I think I just have this notion in my head that I'm not going to like it.

Ann

Fisher

Good for you for taking this big step. The people at the meetings are just Like us and understand.

I remember my first several meetings. I was scared too but desperate for anything that could help take my pain away. It took me several meetings before I could even share - I just cried and people were so kind and didn't push me, just offered me tissues.

You can participate as little or as much as you want - no one will push you to do any more than you are comfortable with. Sometimes just listening and feeling the strength of others is helpful, and sometimes pouring our hearts out is what we need.

I hope this will be a good meeting for you. Give it a chance and try others too to find the one you feel most at home with. And if you are nervous, just take us all with you. I'll be the angel lady with the bunny slippers on....I'm pretty hard to miss.

Sending hugs and prayers that you can take with you.

constant

Welcome Fisher, Glad to have you here and I hope that you do try the meeting.....you mind find it different that what you expect.

Ann has made some great suggestions that I second! Come back here often.....there are lots of us here who love to listen. We share what we have learned and pray for each other.

Constant

Fisher

Thanks you guys!! Well I TRIED to go to the meeting!! I just couldn't find it! I even got to the street it says it's supposed to be on and there was no church!!! I'm so confused!!! It should have taken me 10-15 mins to find it, but I drove around for well over an hour. Oh well, atleast I tried. I might see if hubby wants to go with me to one tonight. But I kind of feel stupid telling him I want to go. I don't know why I want to go to be honest with you...I don't live with my mother. Though my childhood was hard at times, I don't blame her for a darn thing. I love the life I have right now. I think I'm just so frustrated with her!!! I think hearing other peoples stories will make me feel a little more normal or something? Does that make sense?

liddy

Hi Fisher

Hope you made that meeting, give it a few times to make
a decision on if its for you. Try out a few different ones, they all
have their own "personality".

Sending a prayer for the safety of your Mom.
Hugs
liddy

ps- saw you just posted that you couldnt find it !
that happened to my first meeting , turned out it
didnt exist anymore ! But two days later I found one
then two then three , that are all now a big part of my life
and have been the last 14 mths. They made me sane again
(sort of !)
Good luck

Fisher

Thanks, I will definitely try to make it to another meeting. I'm not quite sure it's for me, but I think I'm willing to give it a try.

Hangin' In

Fisher,

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

I just want to add my "Amen" to the suggestion of you going to Al Anon. Al Anon has truly helped restore me to sanity while at the same time educated me about this terrible disease. It's also taught me how NOT to worry so much and put the focus back on making my life as enjoyable as possible even though I live with an A in my life.

I want you to find that peace and sanity, too. So please give Al Anon a try. And as they say, "If you give it 6 tries, meaning go to 6 meetings, and you still don't like it, they will gladly refund your misery!"....

Now keep coming back and reading and posting. And I'll say a prayer for both you and your mom.

Hugs,

Hangin' In