thelightdawns

Hi everyone.

Well, APartner went to a total of 2 meetings, wanted heaps of praise from everyone and then yesterday threw the phone bill out (so I couldn't see how often he was calling this chick while we were broken up). I got mad and went to a friends and didn't answer his calls for an hour. When I did answer he abused the cHirap out of me so I hung up on him.
So then I came home and of course he wasn't here. Called him a few times to see if he was coming home - no answer.
Then I get a text from one of his mates girlfriends asking how I'm going. She told me he was there 'having a few drinks, but he's not drunk.' Well, by the time he got home at 12.30am (yes, he drove himself home) he was pretty drunk.
I was sleeping on the couch and he came out saying (and it sounded like he was crying) 'Do you think it's fair that you sleep on the couch?' I dont know where he was going with that one but I just told him I'd talk to him in the morning because he was way too drunk to talk to.

So this morning when he got up he said 'morning', I said 'morning' and off he went to work after saying hello to the twins.

I think he might think he has gotten away with it and that I am just going to sweep it under the carpet. I will not live like this anymore.
Now I have to kick him out again and I am soooo tired of all this.
I DREAD dealing with this, I wish it - or he - would just go away. I had hardly any sleep because of his crap and had to get up to the twins this morning while his ass was still in bed. At least I dont have a hangover. lol.
My question is......what would you do?
I am thinking I will just say, I cant be with you while you are drinking. Please leave.
What if he says he will go back to meetings and keep trying? Should I say - well do it on your own time, not mine....?
I wish we could be together, I wish he would grow up but I also wish I had a million dollars, and I am guessing none of that is on the cards.
When he is not drinking he is really good and helpful with the twins (who are a handful on your own, 7 mths old!)
BUT, all this last 2 weeks must have been quacking for him to go out and ruin it all.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Barbara52

That works.

That works too. I would say something along the lines of after you have shown you are serious about sobriety and recovery, then we can talk and see where our relationship stands.

prodigal

This is a question I frequently encounter here. I've asked it myself. The problem is, no matter how many straw polls I take or how many people I ask, "What would YOU do?" I end up doing what I choose to do no matter how many opinions I gather.

"I will not live like this anymore," "what if ...," and "I wish ..." I believe you have answered your own question in that first statement. Statements two and three are based on "magical thinking" and not WHAT IS.

tryingtofly

I agree completely! IMHO Set a timeline and tell him that if by that point he's still sober and attending AA (they get 30,60 etc tokens) then you can work on your marriage.