Cassey

I know that in my own heart that the things that I do, I have to be satisfied with them, and if that is choosing to do nothing that day, I do nothing or busting my butt I bust my butt.

I have been making alot of choices in my life for myself as far as what i am going to do and when and how I am going to do it. I am very happy with my choices. I like the way things are My house is lived in and looks lived in, laundry gets backed up sometimes, but I dont care.

I have three wonderful children, two golden retrievers and a parakeet. Some of my most favorite things to do.

1. Watch my son play sports
2. Play softball
3. Play with my goldens
4. Watch hockey
5. Camping, hikes, swimming, bike riding, walking

I have a great job that I really like alot, so I am okay there and make pretty good money. I am close with my parents and I love them very much. I am going on a motorcycle trip with my Dad for the third year in a row, I cant wait

I have learned that no matter what I do or what I dont do it will never be enough for my H. I have stopped trying to please him, I simply dont care anymore as long as I am happy with myself and what I do, but why as I read this does this sound selfish, crude and uncaring and why do I struggle with this so much.

Inside my stomach or inside my heart I have this ache, this feeling of inadequatecy, not being good enough. I am tired of making myself feel guilty when I am perfectly happy with everything else in my life accept him.

There is no good ending to my marriage, It will end and will not be good. I am realistic and know this, so what am I going to do to prepare myself, do I sit idealy by and wait for things to happen, or do I make a choice where I know that I will be okay if he decides to SPLIT before I do.

Rella927

We do what we need to do in order to go through change-sitting by and wasting time on what is going to happen will IMHO only create more chaos to your brain-Something it sounds as if you are on the way of cleaning out!

Live for today and keep enjoying the things you are-Motorcycle trip, the kids, the animals are all happy things and living in the moment!

Hang in there it will get easier

And honestly ask yourself if you are done with this marriage does it matter who does the split first?

And we feel guilty and selfish because IMHO we are not use to doing things for us and just living! He has made choices and and you stated your happy with everything in your life but him.....so make your choice and ..

LIVE and ENJOY EVER MINUTE OF IT!

Keep moving forward you are doing great!
"Progress not perfection"

GiveLove

Most of us are never taught to be okay with saying, "I am happy with who I am and what I have." It's not cool to say that....we're taught that it's boastful, or arrogant. When I tell people that I wake up every day happy to be alive, they look at me like I'm on some kind of psychotropic drug.

I think that just beneath the surface, where your husband's attitudes influence your feelings, you are a tremendous person who knows what's important in life.

Say it. Feel it. Live it. You have the right.

Your husband has the right to approach life his way too. You have no reason to feel guilty.....you have the right values, and he doesn't. Feel sad for him, and pray that maybe some day he'll find what you already have inside. But guilt shouldn't enter into it...his life is not yours to control.

Cassey, wishing you luck and strength and wisdom to handle this all in a way that honors you & sets you on a path toward even greater happiness.